Much like the U.S. soccer team in the Confederations Cup, Terrell Owens and Joanna Krupa faced certain elimination in ABC’s time-wasting action-packed series “The Superstars,” only to come back in semi-triumph. Yes, America’s favorite couple are still alive, as you surely know from watching last night. What do you mean you read a book instead? This isn’t Russia! (It isn’t Russia, is it?).
The Dysfunctional Duo made us all chortle last week during the show’s debut, when Owens had a little trouble with the obstacle course and caused his team to be the first one eliminated. Krupa, not amused by T.O.’s clumsiness, went all Kate Gosselin on him, to everyone’s horror/amusement (pick one). Krupa talked about her meltdown recently on ESPN’s “First Take” with Dana Jacobson, video below. Read more…
In the end, Terrell Owens met his downfall the way that most great athletes do — tangled in cargo netting. Owens and teammate Joanna Krupa were the first team eliminated during Tuesday night’s debut of “Superstars” on ABC, which paired athletes with celebrities in a series of athletic stunts. And in a sort of glorious cosmic justice, Krupa spent most of the show cursing T.O. for his ineptitude.
Ha. The look on T.O.’s face is priceless, as you’ll see in the video below. Sample dialogue: T.O.: “Let’s go!” Krupa: “No ‘let’s go!’ You f***** up. We could have won.” (T.O. looks forlorn). Who is Joanna Krupa, you ask? Suffice it to say she’s a rather gifted model. Photos below. Read more…
Sometimes a video comes along that’s so perfect, anything we add to it would be superfluous; the best thing we can do is just stand back and let the magic happen.
(We were tempted to photoshop a T-Pain hat onto Allen Iverson, but it would have been a little too esoteric.)
This would be one of those times. KISSING SUZY KOLBER has unearthed an epic remix of some of the most memorable moments in media meltdown history - set to Autotune. Oh, it’s so good. Video’s after the break (and near as we can tell, completely SFW).
As we learned in the Biblical story of Christmas, when Joseph and Mary arrived in Bethlehem there was no room at the inn. Two thousand years later, will Buffalo’s messiah be forced to sleep in a manger? That’s what Terrell Owens wants to know. Hey man, he’s trippin’ … won’t somebody rent a brother a house?
And of course, just like the birth of Jesus, the entire story is documented on Twitter:
how bout this? the owners @ address 1 DEER RUN wn’t rent 2 me b/c they said they dn’t want drama n their neighborhood!!! WOW! — about 17 hours ago from web in reply to tjgeary1
As a stunt for his new reality TV show, BLACK SPORTS ONLINE says that Terrell Owens went down to a TV station in Buffalo and spent the day learning what goes into producing a newscast, before taking a crack at becoming a sports anchor for one segment. But anyone expecting a “Boom Goes The Dynamite” -style meltdown should prepare to be disappointed: he was poised, confident and frankly better than half of the sports guys doing the evening news here in Los Angeles. Certainly, it was impressive for the first time.
But perhaps we shouldn’t be shocked that T.O. would take to being a sports anchor. If you describe someone as a self-centered prima donna who thinks the world revolves around them and will wreak havoc if he doesn’t get exactly what he wants, you just as easily could be talking about Keith Olbermann (allegedly) as you could Terrell Owens (not so allegedly).
Video of Owens’ big day at the TV studio after the jump:
Hey, it looks like Brett Favreis not going to have surgery anytime soon, and…you know what, I’m not even going to pretend to give a crap about any of this anymore. So let’s talk about something else, like the Mets going full-on Chico’s Bail Bonds last night at Dodger Stadium.
1) With two out in the top of the inning and the score tied 2-2, Angel Pagan tripled into deep right-center with Ryan Church on first base. But Church missed third base on his way home, and after he scored the Dodgers appealed at the base. Church was called out, Pagan’s hit was reduced to a single, and the inning was over.
2) In the bottom of the inning, Pagan and Carlos Beltran has a communication breakdown on a routine fly ball to left center, resulting in Pagan diving out of the way at the last minute and Beltran dropping the ball.
3) After an intentional walk to Juan Pierre(!) to load the bases and a pop-out, and Beltran now playing as part of a five-man infield, Orlando Hudson hit a routine ground ball to Jeremy Reed. Reed went to home for the easy force out, but his throw was about 10 feet wide of Ramon Castro, who was already standing several feet away from home plate. Dodgers win. And, as if Reed needed anything else in his way, pitcher Brian Stokes decided it would be a great idea to run over and stand right in between Reed and Castro, ducking out of the way at the last minute to avoid being beaned in the head by Reed’s errant toss.
Seriously, the Mets have some defensive issues to work out. They made five errors last night, with two of them coming from Ramon Martinez, who was called up earlier in the day from AAA to play shortstop while Jose Reyes is sidelined. Reed, who is actually an outfielder, was only playing first because he pinch-hit for Fernando Tatis and somebody had to play the position. Carlos Delgado won’t be playing it for a while, as he’s having hip surgery tomorrow.
Speaking of the DL, Twins pitcher Glen Perkins is joining it after informing the team that he has tingling and discomfort in his pitching elbow. Of course, they probably would’ve rather he told them that before he gave up six runs in 2/3 of an inning at Yankee Stadium last night. Because then they might’ve been able to just start R.A. Dickey, who gave up no runs in the next 4 1/3. The Twins lost the game 7-6 — a totally fitting end to a four-game sweep that saw them lose the first three in walk-off fashion.
(”I gotta go on the DL, Gardy. I got a mean case of Chien-Ming Wang-itis.”)
Much like Dante in Clerks, Philippe Boucher wasn’t even supposed to be there last night. But the Penguins’ seventh defenseman scored the winning goal in a 3-2 victory over the Hurricanes in Game 1 of the NHL’s East finals. The ‘Canes almost rallied to tie the game late, but Marc-Andre Fleury denied Eric Staal on the doorstep with 30 seconds left to preserve the win and bring us one step closer to the same exact Stanley Cup finals matchup as last year (except this time Marian Hossa will be playing for the winning team). While the NHL playoffs have been great thus far, there’s a sense of impending dread that it will all be downhill from here since the Pens-Caps series will be nearly impossible to top.
• The Brewers got some bad news yesterday when they learned that Rickie Weeks is going to miss the rest of the season with a wrist injury. It did, however, allow them to recall top prospect Mat Gamel from AAA, who promptly homered in his first big-league start in an 8-4 win over the Cardinals. Gamel, however, might make Crew fans wish Ryan Braun was still playing third, as he made a mind-boggling 93 errors over the last 2+ seasons in the minors (and one last night, of course).
• PGA golfer Briny Baird and Padres GM Kevin Towers took turns bombing golf balls off the roof of a hotel in San Diego yesterday. It’s OK, P.F. Chang’s set it all up. In fact, because Baird was able to hit a target 268 yards away (and 340 feet below him) in Petco Park, America is now entitled to a free lettuce wrap at Chang’s. Go here to register for your free app.
• The Nationals’ ground crew is about as good at putting a tarp on the field as the team is at playing baseball (thanks to BAREKNUCKS):
• The NHL says that Coyotes owner Jerry Moyescan’t declare bankruptcy and sell the team to Jim Balsillie because Moyes gave Gary Bettman ownership of the team a few months ago in exchange for a financial bailout and thus doesn’t have the authority to make any decisions concerning the team’s future. It’s nice to see that Bettman is hell-bent on keeping the team in a place where it will continue to suffer instead of letting it go somewhere that will go crazy supporting it because he doesn’t want to be known as the guy who failed at bringing hockey to Arizona.
• RACIN NATION says Jeremy Mayfieldwas told exactly what he tested positive for, and it’s not Claritin, as Mayfield has contended. Stop denying it Mayfield, we all know you were drinking ayahuasca with a shaman in Peru.
Summer is just around the corner, and that can only mean one thing - a new series of ABC’s “The Superstars” will soon be upon us! The show that is to athletic endeavor what “Dancing With The Stars” is to … um, dancing, is set to kick off on June 23. (Although I admit I often get “The Superstars” confused with “Battle of the Network Stars”. Speaking of, when’s “BNS” gonna get it’s own 21st-century revival, huh?)
(Kent & Landry - kicking butt this summer on ABC!)
Anyway, Tom Hoffarth of FARTHER OFF THE WALL gives us the scoop on what agile athletes will compete in this season’s run - and who’ll be pared up with which “celebrity”. (Tom’s quotes, not mine - although I’d be inclined to agree with most of the upcoming examples.)
For instance, former L.A. Dodger/San Francisco Giant, Vin Scully hater & gay marriage opponentJeff Kent will be on the program. So some folks may be enticed to tune in just to root against Jeff. But many others will watch probably because of Kent’s predetermined teammate: Ali Landry.
(More pics of Ali & others to pique your interest after the jump.)
