“Australian Rules” Do Not Include Whipping It Out

Remember a few years ago when Outback Steakhouse, that “Australian”-themed restaurant advertised itself with the slogan, “No Rules, Just Right”? Well, they’re a bunch of damn liars. Not only is the Bloomin’ Onion most certainly not Australian, but both the restaurant and Australia itself have rules. Lots of them.

Australian Rules Cockball
(Roight ‘ere, we’ve got an Austrahlian trouser poython! Croikey! ‘E’s a orn’ry one!”)

One particularly important rule would be the one against taking out your hog on live television. That’s really, spectacularly frowned upon, even in Australia. Tim Orchard, seen above exploring his body,was apparently in the mood to test said rule, and according to Australia’s ABC NEWS, it didn’t exactly go well at allRead more…