If I were going to predict the first member of the 1969 Mets to go all the way off the deep end, I would have picked Bud Harrelson, or possibly Ed Kranepool. But the winner is … Jerry Koosman.
(Koosman surrenders to authorities. Not seen: He’s pantsless)
And for being our first official koo-koo Met, Koosman has won six months in prison, which he was awarded today by a federal judge in Madison, Wisconsin for tax evasion. Koosman, you see, not only didn’t pay his taxes, he didn’t think he had to. That’s a couple different kinds of nutty right there.
In my 28 and a half years on this Earth, I haven’t learned much. Maybe it was all the partying I did as a teenager, or maybe I’m just stupid - the fact of the matter is I just don’t know all that much about the world. Still, if there’s one thing I have learned while living in the United States it’s that you can get away with anything you want when you live in this country, just make sure you pay your taxes.
Seriously, you can run an entire criminal enterprise and kill all the people you desire like Al Capone did, or make horrible movies like Wesley Snipes, but if you don’t pay your taxes, you’re going to prison. It’s that simple. Unfortunately for IndyCar Series driver Helio Castroneves, he didn’t grow up in the United States and never learned this lesson. Because of that, he now faces the prospect of spending six years or more behind bars.
The only man to ever win both a reality ballroom dancing competition and the Indianapolis 500 is in a bit of hot water with the folks at the IRS. Indy Car/Tango star Helio Castroneves has neglected to pay more than $5 million of taxes that he’s owed the U.S. Government over the past four years, according to U.S. authorities.
Castroneves has been indicted along with his sister and his attorney in what is being described as a “tax-evasion scheme,” according to the MIAMI HERALD. They’re expected to make court appearances tomorrow in Miami. I’m sure this will all be cleared up very soon. I mean, who doesn’t forget to pay $5 million every once in a while?
YANKS’ SECRETARY SHIPPED OUT AFTER GUILTY TAX PLEA: The New York Yankees’ traveling secretary was given the pink slip on Tuesday, after pleading guilty to tax evasion:
CBS SPORTSLINE reports that David Szen admitted in federal court to leaving over $50,000 off his tax returns for the past five years. The unreported money came from tips Szen received from players & coaches during his time with the Bronx Bombers.Szen owes over $10,000 in back taxes and penalties, and faces additional fines up to $100,000. His sentencing on March 7 could also result in up to 6 months in prison.
After Szen helped dock Joe Torre’s pay for hotel incidentals, we’re sure the ex-Yanks skipper is somewhere smirking over David’s dumping.