No more candy & ice cream for the Yankees? Aw, nuts (& dried fruit & granola)!

• CBS might finally be telling college analyst Billy Packer to pack it in.

• Carmelo Anthony gets treated to special chants at Staples Center.

• An NBA D-Leaguer expresses his desire for “The Office” actress Jenna Fischer through the power of poetry.

• Massive Colorado mascot Ralphie buffalOWNS one of his trainers.

• Quite a weekend for the Manning boys - Eli hits the altar, while Peyton hits the bar.

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Back when I was in high school, I was happy when I’d get a card with 20 bucks in it for my birthday (thanks, Grandma!). I was also pretty content to spend my weekends playing Perfect Dark with my friends. This may explain why I’m not a professional golfer.

Tadd Fujikawa, on the other hand, is quite the over-achiever. Yesterday, he got his first win as a pro. He’s 17. Read more…

• MR. SUNSHINE saves it for later, as Dan Patrick’s radio show will be broadcast in many markets on tape-delay:

• ALLBALLS takes a break, as they enjoy these amusing halftime spectacles.• WIZZNUTZZ via DEADSPIN knows a chicken box signed by Manute Bol & Spud Webb has to be finger lickin’ good.

• JEN’S FREE THROWS teases us with a first look at Venus Williams’ new ‘do:

• WAGGLE ROOM checks their report card, as teen golf sensation Tadd Fujikawa is letting his grades slip a bit.• PART MULE knows the Celtics are so good, Doc Rivers doesn’t even need to coach them.

• MONDESI’S HOUSE digs up a classic photo of a collegiate Dan Marino and his Pitt hitmen:

• LARRY BROWN SPORTS checks their wallet, as it now costs a family of four nearly $500 to attend one Lakers game.• And if you decide not to head to Staples Center, you can always use that cash to buy the most expensive video games made.

• He can bring his own makeup: RIVALFISH scores news that Dennis Rodman wants to be a WNBA coach:

The Worm should be able to provide proper motivation to his players.• CONSTRUDA discovers Tim Hardaway trying to make amends for his earlier anti-gay remarks.

• THE BOTTOM LINE hates Notre Dame, but even they aren’t having fun anymore with the suck of the Irish.