Of all the movies in the Rocky series, my favorite has always been Rocky IV. The death of Apollo Creed at the beginning, Rocky’s need to avenge his friend, the training montage, it’s all great. Still, my favorite part of the movie is right before Rocky’s fight against super-Commie Ivan Drago when the two meet in the center of the ring and Drago tells Balboa “I must break you.”
Of course, in the end Rocky & capitalism triumph over the evil Drago & his communist regime of terror, and all is right in the world again (well, until Rocky V came out). I don’t think the upcoming EliteXC fight between Ken Shamrock and Kimbo Slice will have the same kind of impact on the global scale as the Balboa-Drago bout, but that isn’t stopping Shamrock from having his own Drago moment.
The scourge of the Ernie Banks statue’s missing punctuation, like other tragedies, has led to a review of the state of sports statues across America to ensure the shame and pain of misused or abandoned punctuation will never befall our sports heroes again.
As part of that national volunteer effort (no doubt sponsored in part by FEMA), KENN.COM BLOG checked on one of the linchpins of the sports statue scene in America: the Rocky statue. What he found will chill you to your very soul. Small children, those who are expecting, and librarians should turn away at this time.
Another mangled apostrophe has been discovered. In an indictment of the Philadelphia school system, fictional boxers, and HGH-abusing actors everywhere, the Rocky statue tells us that Rocky stands for “the great city of Philadelphia and the brotherhood of it’s people”. “It’s.” Not “its”. The brotherhood of it is people. Oh, the heartbreak.
BONDS ROCKETS AWAY FROM PLANET HOLLYWOOD OPEN: Barry Bonds couldn’t show up for a Vegas party, as he’s (soon to be) detained:
The NEW YORK DAILY NEWS reports that the ex-San Francisco slugger was scheduled to appear at the grand opening of the Planet Hollywood Casino & Resort in Sin City last weekend.However, Bonds bailed out at the last second. Guess he wasn’t pumped enough about hanging with Roger Clemens, Andre Agassi, Bruce Willis and Sylvester Stallone.
Besides, he was already in town recently.
There’s no need for Sly & pals to make a federal case about the slugger’s snub - Stallone himself doesn’t have the time, as he’s got a musical to produce. And Barry will be making brand new friends soon enough, courtesy of the fellas in Cell Block D.
ROCKY BALBOA MUSICAL SURE TO BE BIG BROADWAY HIT: With sequel after sequel after sequel after sequel after sequel, you would think the Rocky Balboa saga would have run its course.
Fat chance, as the world better get its gloves on for “Rocky - The Musical“!PLAYBILL jabs news that the Philadelphia pugilist will be taking boxing to the box seats on Broadway. Thomas Meehan, who’ll be writing the stage show, says the Rocky story “was made to be a musical. It’s got all the elements.”
However, those hoping for a Mr. T soliloquy or a tender Russian ballad from Ivan Drago, tough luck - the show will be based on the first film.
Sadly, Sylvester Stallone himself will not be showing up on stage. He probably doesn’t have the strength - since he left that behind in Australia.