Bears QB Cutler Performs Poorly Against Packers

Jay Culter’s debut as Chicago’s QB was completely em-Bear-assing.

Jay Cutler Bears Packers

• A fired high school basketball coach decides to spend her new-found free time suing over the fact that girls have to play on school nights while the boys get to play on weekends.

• We knew the New Jersey Nets were losers, but we didn’t realize it was $50 million worth.

• It’s nice when a mother & daughter work together. It’s not so nice when they’re working together to beat up a cheerleading coach.

• Utah’s Kyle Korver & Deron Williams jazz up a charity event with a little dodgeball action.

Read more…

Now Even Swimming Is Bad For Your Kids’ Health

A brief indulgence, if you please; we always wanted to be one of those irritating local news anchors who casually engage in blatant scare tactics and litter puns into their stories for no reason. Okay, here we go: Are swimming pools the greatest scourge to children’s safety in the history of the world? Swimming enthusiasts say that’s nonsense, but some experts agree that new data suggest swimming may leave you out to dry.

Black People in a Pool
(Also, heaven forbid if black kids come to your pool, right, Valley Swim Club?)

Oooh, that was good, right? Because you’re scared of the swimming pool - but you’re not sure why yet - and at the same time, you’re not scared of us, because we’re cool enough to crack wise while we deliver the bad news. Nice. Now we see why people get into the daily news business.

But we digress; back to the original point, some Europeans think going to swimming pools might significantly hamper your ability to breathe. Read more…

Kobe Bryant Jumps Over Pool Filled With Snakes

It’s totally understandable that Kobe Bryant would get bored with jumping over expensive automobiles.

Kobe Bryant snake jump

As it turns out, the Aston Martin jump was just a gateway stunt. Now he’s jumping over a swimming pool filled with snakes! Read more…