Week In Review: Super Bowl Viewers See Boner

• Super Bowl viewers in Tucson were treated to a 30-second clip of some guy’s schlong. And for those who are curious, here’s what they saw.

Larry Fitzgerald Super Bowl porn girl

• That pornographic interruption was probably more fun than actually going to a Super Bowl party.

• Should Erin Andrews and other female sports reporters get the chance to graduate from the sidelines to the broadcast booth?

• The USOC is seething over a strip club hosting its own “Pole Olympics“.

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Berman’s Booger Eating Now Closed To The Public

If you’d rather catch up on your laundry and clean out the cat box than see Terrell Owens primping in the ladies room, listen to Kevin Costner sing for an hour, rub elbows with the owner of the L.A. Clippers, and hear about Chris Berman flying on private planes, I have great news.

Chris Berman Topless On The Beach

(Apparently this gentleman (left) caught up on his laundry before last weekend)

Arash Markazi of SPORTS ILLUSTRATED has the 411 on all the Super Bowl parties last week worth avoiding. In other words, he has the 411 on all the Super Bowl parties.

Highlights:

Marquis Jet Party:

Chris Berman presided over the festivities, which meant they kept a half-dozen dry, pressed Hawaiian shirts under the bar for quick changes every quarter hour.

Chris Berman sweaty

Markazi notes that during the party, Berman told partygoers that he “has been flying on private planes for the past five years.

Berman now doesn’t fly commercial? I wonder if an eyewitness noting that he picked his nose (and ate it) while flying commercial has anything to do with it.

More highlights after the jump.

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Cassel Urinated On By Drunk Fan At Super Bowl

Matt Cassel might be a Patriot (at least until they trade him), but he apparently wasn’t ready to break out his bayonet for a swordfight at a Super Bowl party. According to the NEW YORK DAILY NEWS (who apparently had sources deep inside the restrooms at all parties), one drunken fan decided to “write his name in the snow” - but substituting the back of Cassel’s leg for snow.

Matt Cassel and drunk fan

I can guarantee you that this sort of thing doesn’t happen to Tom Brady. In fact, Brady probably hasn’t had to use a public bathroom with the unwashed masses since his rookie year. (As with all famous people, he has access to special, secret restrooms at all stadiums, complete with golden bidets, seat warmers on the toilets and free caviar at the wash stations instead of sticks of Extra gum.)

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Lush Super Bowl Parties On The Chopping Block

In these rough economic times, nothing is sacred. Circuit City closed a bunch of stores before Black Friday, the stock market is tumbling harder than the “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” lady, and cats & dogs are sleeping together just to cut their rent in half. But now we have the ultimate sign that our economy is in a deep depression: A whole bunch of Super Bowl parties are being canceled this year.

Owen Wilson at Playboy Party

(Owen Wilson is not pleased by the news. Or maybe he’s really pleased.
You can never tell with him.)

According to SPORTS BUSINESS JOURNAL, Super Bowl parties hosted by Sports Illustrated and talent agencies CAA and Octagon have already met their grisly end. Even more upsetting, the party plans for Playboy, one of the mainstays of the Super Bowl party scene for years, are said to be “up in the air”. And that, my friends, is not a good sign.

Luckily, there are a few EXTREME party organizers who are going full steam ahead with their festitivites, economy be damned!

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Phew! Roger Goodell Isn’t Going To Hell After All

Senator Arlen Specter (R-PA) wasn’t only raising a stink about the NFL’s handling of the Patriots’ taping scandal. Recently, commissioner Roger Goodell and the league had sought to crack down on churches that were showing the Super Bowl on their big screens.

NFL Church Sign

According to the WASHINGTON POST, Specter, along with Senator Orrin Hatch (R-UT), questioned the policy, and Lord Rog is allowing churches to worship at the altar of the prolate spheroid when Super Bowl Sunday rolls around in Tampa next season.

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Super Bowl Party Advice That May Save Your Life

Ever go to a restaurant with a group and observe the dreaded double-dipper? That is, the guy who dips a chip, only eats a portion of it, then dips it again. This practice always reaches epidemic proportions at Super Bowl parties, with various dip bowls strewn about the kitchen and game-viewing room.

Super Bowl Dip

Until we polish off a six of Molson Canadian, we usually do spy those double-dippers. But by the second half, thanks to those monster Tostitos chips they’re selling these days, we’re also in the repeat offender category.

But little did we know though that OUR NEXT DIP COULD BE OUR LAST. At least according to a study from Clemson University on the practice.

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NFL Raising Hell w/Churches Showing Super Bowl

The WASHINGTON POST reports that the National Football League is finally getting tough on the terrible scourge that slowly destroying their sport - churches throwing Super Bowl parties.

Jesus playing football figurine

Places of worship have been using Super Sunday parties as a way to bring parishoners together outside of their weekly chapel service - and hopefully bring some members back into the flock.

Rev. Thomas Omholt of St. Paul’s Lutheran Church in D.C. explains such an event “takes people who are not coming frequently, or who have fallen away, and shows them that the church can still have some fun.”

But that’s why the NFL is sometimes known as the “No Fun League”.

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