Adam Jones (known to friends and family as Pacman) wants to play in Dallas. The Cowboys apparently want him to play in Dallas too, and are closing in on a trade for him.

(Wait… he plays football, too? He’s amazing!)

Wait, why are you still here? Is there something more? Did he ask for a retired number or something? Tampering charges? Is there lettuce stuck in his teeth? What is it?

Oh, that’s right. Pacman Jones is Pure Evil and must be smited by a righteous hand. Thanks, Kyle Turley!

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