Tyson’s Faux Opponent of the Week: Kimbo Slice

SPORTAPHILE puts the lie to yet another supposed Mike Tyson fight agreement. Much like every halfway decent free agent or trade target must be headed to the 807-person roster of the New York Yankees, every fighter in desperate need of attention and/or cash (in this case, Kimbo Slice) has come thisclose to fighting Tyson, who still hasn’t taken a blow for cash in years.

Mike Tyson is fat

(Seriously, stop being stuck in the 90s. Throw out your flannel shirts.)

Since SPORTAPHILE beat us to the punch, we’ll finish by taking the entire genre of story to the mat with our blog-jitsu. Let’s all break a few habits here by ditching storylines that prove people over 30 haven’t given up their youth and keep hoping their aging sports stars will return to save their misspent youth and bail them out of their crappy jobs and suffocating families:
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