Penn State and North Carolina fans have a lot to cheer about at the moment. Both football teams are headed to bowls, Penn State’s in the midst of a Joe Paterno resurgence that’s earned them a ticket to the Rose Bowl, and UNC looks unbeatable on the court.
Well, things just got a little bit better. Or at least stranger. According to the ASSOCIATED PRESS, Nittany Lion and Tar Heel fans and alums can now buy perfumes and colognes that smell like the schools. Or at least they’re supposed to. Disappointingly, Eau de Penn State reportedly smells like a blend of vanilla, lilac, rose and white patchouli rather than football, sweat, drunken Big Ten stall sex and general musk.
Brandon Inge was ready to hit the sack Monday night, but the sack hit back. And now the Detroit Tigers’ utility man is headed for the disabled list.
The DETROIT FREE PRESS fluffs up the news that Inge is off the roster with a pulled oblique muscle - all because he tried to move his kid’s pillow:
• VARIETY shoots up news that “Semi-Pro” was the top grossing film of last weekend, but netted only $15 million - “the lowest opening for a major Will Ferrell comedy in almost a decade.”
• In honor of Felix Pie’s twisted testicle, 100% INJURY RATE painfully looks back on some of the more unusual injuries to have befallen athletes.
• The BALTIMORE SUN is shattered that the Orioles’ Kevin Millar decided to break out the pink bat, only to have it splinter after two trips to the plate.