You, sir! Yes, you, in the cubicle with the tie that doesn’t fit very well and the 6.5 40 speed. Want to be a professional football player? Well, get your ass up to New York, amigo, because the Jets are redefining “desperate.”

(”Can we find anyone who can kick a damn football? I’m sorry, what’s that? We can’t? Uh-oh.”)

According to the NEW YORK TIMES, the Jets are looking for a solution at the least-athletic position on the football field. They’ve burned through so many other prospects that hey, it might as well be you.

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The Broncos are officially the worst 3-0 team in NFL history after the Saints handed Denver a 34-32 win yesterday. The goat of the game? Undoubtedly kicker Martin Gramatica, who missed a makeable 43-yard field goal with 1:53 to go that could’ve given the Saints a victory.

(Not pictured: Cellphone Gramatica used to catch cab in avoiding media)

Making Gramatica and holder Steve Weatherford all-the-more endearing to their bloodied, exhausted teammates was their postgame reaction to the kick, and stylish on-field accoutrements.  Read more…