SEC, Lies And Athletic Tape: Spurrier Crying Foul

Perhaps only Steve Spurrier could make an issue of this, but I’m glad he did. Because frankly he hasn’t been turning in his share of crazy lately. The South Carolina head coach — who takes a great sideline picture, by the way — is accusing Alabama of shenanigans during the Crimson Tide’s win over the Gamecocks on Saturday.

Leigh Tiffin, Steve Spurrier

Spurrier said on Tuesday that, while reviewing game film, he noticed that the Alabama holder may have used a small piece of athletic tape to mark the spot for kicker Leigh Tiffin to attempt extra points and field goals. And as we all pull out our SEC rulebooks, we see that that’s cheating! Read more…

Speed Read: Overrated, Clap Clap, Clap Clap Clap

Because no battle is ever won, he said. They are not even fought. The field only reveals to man his own folly and despair, and victory is an illusion of philosophers and fools. - William Faulker, “The Sound and the Fury”

That was written by Mississippi’s “greatest author,” who I also thought was kind of overrated. Which, it turns out, could easily apply on multiple levels to the Ole Miss football team. On a national stage and with a No. 4 ranking, the Rebels completely imploded, falling 16-10 at South Carolina last night. It may or may not be true that no battle is ever won, but for Ole Miss, this one was certainly lost.

Moe Brown of South Carolina

Mainly it was lost for two reasons: QB Jevan Snead had a miserable game, going 7 for 21 for 107 yards while being pressured by the Gamecocks’ defense all night. And Houston Nutt’s game plan reminded you of why he was barely a .500 coach with a backfield of Felix Jones and Darren McFadden at Arkansas. Nutt seemed unable to accept that the passing game just wasn’t working, and waited until the fourth quarter to turn to running back Dexter McLuster. He ran for 68 yards in the final quarter, but by then it was too little, too late. Read more…

Michelle Wie Blog Shows Art Skills, Leopard Skirts

Michelle Wie has her own blog where she can showcase some of her off-course talents - such as art work and wearing leopard & leather outfits.

Michelle Wie leopard skirt

• No one circles the wagons like the Buffalo Bills - mainly because they keep putting themselves in disastrous situations.

• A Nigerian soccer player tries to earn a roster spot by smuggling heroin.

• A furious female Canadian boxer decides to beat up some British soldiers because they were “being gay” on the dance floor.

• Successful sales of a 5,000-calorie burger fills minor league team’s coffers, clogs minor league fans’ arteries.

Read more…

Adding Insult To Injury, The Georgia Bulldog Way

Georgia State troopers fist-bumping right in Steve Spurrier’s face in the final seconds of the Bulldogs’ 41-37 win over South Carolina. To paraphrase Buford T. Justice: “What we have here is a complete lack of respect for the coach.” Video below. Read more…

Week In Review: Witt Wants Winter Games in Ger.

• We’re keeping abreast of ex-figure skating champ Katarina Witt’s efforts to bring the 2018 Winter Olympics to Munich.

Katarina Witt

The IOC would have to be a bunch of boobs not to hear her out.

• New blood tests reveal that Steve McNair was probably passed out drunk when he was shot & killed by Sahel Kazemi.

• Can’t Michael Jordan go throught at least one round of golf without being bothered by a giant inflatable penis?

• Secret video of Jordan Crawford dunking on LeBron James is finally released - in two versions, even! The final review: Meh.

• ESPN doesn’t feel like making news about the rape allegations aimed at Ben Roethlisberger. Why not? The accuser seems newsworthy enough.

Read more…

Steve Spurrier Blames Staff For Snubbing Tebow

Personally I think that preseason all-conference voting is somewhat stupid, but if you’re going to have it, for Pete’s sake take it seriously. Steve Spurrier, no Tim Tebow action figure for you. Spurrier revealed that it was indeed he who was the lone coach who did not vote for Tebow on the preseason All-SEC ballot, and further claims that it was all a mistake. It was, says Spurrier, his staff’s fault.

Tebowman, Steve Spurrier

Of course it was. At the SEC media day on Thursday, Spurrier said that South Carolina’s director of football operations, Jamie Speronis, filled out the ballot, and in place of Tebow voted for Mississippi’s Jevan Snead. “Hey, McFly, is my homework done yet? I have to have time to recopy it. What do you think would happen if I turned in my homework with your handwriting? Think, McFly!” Read more…

NCAA Football Making Final Coaches’ Poll Secret

In the patchwork quilt of subjectivity that makes up the BCS, perhaps the most bizarre aspect is the coaches’ poll. While on one hand, it seems like coaches would be most qualified to judge the merit of one team over another, realistically, there’s no one coach or coaching staff who knows enough about the entire college football landscape to put together a good Top 25 without just pulling a “they’re high in the AP so whatever.”

Stalin Would Have Loved the BCS
(Is a comparison to Stalinist Russia just a little bit over the top? NYET, COMRADE!)

More importantly, the poll’s presence leaves the BCS selection process open to the undue influence of a handful of malicious coaches sandbagging a team out of contention. To that end, the USA TODAY has been publishing final coaches’ polls, eliminating any incentive to do so (unless a hypothetical coach really wants to spend time explaining to ESPN why he put Southern Cal at #22). So hey, glasnost’s working well, right? Great, let’s get rid of it!

Read more…

Speed Read: Cardiac Canes Will Break Your Heart

As evidenced by Wednesday night’s Pittsburgh Penguins’ romp over the Washington Capitals, not every Game 7 in hockey is something special. But let’s face it - most of them are. And when you throw overtime into the mix? It’s about as good as it gets. It’s drama that you cannot turn away from - at any second, the game and the series could be over with one thunderbolt.

Carolina Hurricanes

So it was that the Carolina Hurricanes and Boston Bruins skated at the end of the first overtime in their Game 7 in Boston, looking for all the world like they were going to a second extra period - or more. And then out of nowhere, a shot was flipped towards the net, Bruins goaltender Tim Thomas was unable to control the rebound, and winger Scott Walker pounced to put the puck in the net for his first career playoff goal to end the game 3-2 and the series.

Boston Bruins

And the fact that it was Walker who scored the series-winner had to hurt Bruins fans doubly, since he was the person who sucker punched Bruins defenseman Aaron Ward near the end of Game 5. According to NHL rules, Ward should have been suspended for Game 6, but the league rescinded the suspension after a hearing on Monday. So he went from almost breaking Ward’s face to definitely breaking the Bruins’ hearts.

(Of course, even though it was a Game 7 overtime winner, it arguably wasn’t as impressive or as cold-blooded as how the Hurricanes scored two late goals to send the New Jersey Devils packing in Game 7 of their first-round series. If I’m the Penguins in the Eastern Conference finals, I’m doing everything I can to close them out early.)

Red Wings versus Ducks

The Detroit Red Wings’ Game 7 victory over the Anaheim Ducks didn’t go to overtime, but it sure had its share of drama. Detroit went up two goals early, only to see Anaheim claw back to level the score at 3-3. But Dan Cleary scored with three minutes to go to give the Red Wings the go-ahead goal and Detroit’s defense was able to make it stick, setting up a Western Conference Finals match-up with the Chicago Blackhawks.

Dwight Howard

Oh, you say that you prefer NBA Game 7s? Well, you’ll have your chance for satisfaction soon enough, as two teams fought off elimination to earn one deciding game. In Orlando, the subtle message that Dwight Howard sent to Orlando Magic coach Stan Van Gundy through the media (i.e. “quit being an idiot and get me the ball”) must have sunk in, as Howard had 23 points and 22 rebounds and the Magic forced a return trip to Boston with an 83-75 victory over the Celtics. None of which apparently excited Orlando fans to show up, as there were “patches of empty seats early in the game.”

Kobe Bryant

No wonder Commissioner David Stern was at the Lakers vs. Rockets game. And speaking of late-arriving - someone might want to tell the Lakers that Houston is in a different time zone, because they clearly aren’t showing up for games there until it’s too late. Much like in Game 4, Los Angeles put themselves in a huge hole they never could get out of, at one point closing an early 16-point deficit to two points but finally running out of steam and falling 95-80 to force a Game 7 at Staples Center. Meanwhile, the Denver Nuggets wait and rest.

Here’s some more sports news to digest while I try to figure out how to be part of “Bike To Work Day” when I work from home.

Which postseason is the most exciting?

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Lane Kiffin Tells Recruit He’ll End Up Pumping Gas

Even though he has yet to coach a single game for the Tennessee Volunteers, Lane Kiffin is probably already my favorite coach in the SEC. Sure, he hasn’t won any national championships like Urban Meyer, Nick Saban, Les Miles, or Steve Spurrier, but in his first few months in Knoxville he’s already done more to entertain me than any of those guys and has won the national championship of my heart. Having a hot wife doesn’t hurt his case, either.

Whether it was the time Kiffin accused Urban Meyer of cheating when he wasn’t, or when he thought going topless would help recruit,  or when he insulted the high school of a player he’d just landed at Tennessee, Lane is always finding a new way to make college football’s offseason fun. So when a story comes out from prized wide receiver recruit Alshon Jeffrey that Kiffin tried to convince him to come to Tennessee instead of South Carolina by telling him that he’d end up pumping gas if he became a Gamecock, well, you know it’s true.

Read more…

You Can Blame Bob Knight For QB Rex Grossman

Somehow this slipped by most people’s radar late Thursday, but there was an assertion of fact on the part of epically brilliant college football blogger Orson Swindle that shouldn’t go overlooked.

rex grossman bears

(Yup, this is Bobby Knight’s fault, too.)

Without further ado, this is what Mr. Swindle, a notable Florida Gators fan, says about a connection between Sex Cannon Rex Grossman and the chokingest college basketball coach in America:

“(Bob) Knight is an old acquaintance of Spurrier’s, and is responsible for showing a tape of a relatively unheralded Indiana recruit named Rex Grossman to (Steve) Spurrier. This makes Knight a friend of Gator Nation, and a human burned in effigy in Chicago.”

The comments came in response to Knight making an appearance for Spurrier at South Carolina, where the ESPN broadcaster gave an opening speech to the Gamecocks before spring practice. Read more…