• WOOO! The CHARLESTON (SC) POST & COURIER slams down news that Ric Flair may be retiring from the ring.

(The Nature Boy Ric Flair with the Call-To-Nature Boy Steve Spurrier)

• The BBC boogies over word that soccer players in the Ivory Coast like to celebrate goals by jiggling their gluteus maximus.

• GIANTS FOOTBALL BLOG looks for a new moon over Lambeau Field, as Brett Favre may be favoring Randy Moss.

• Meanwhile, Mike Sando of ESPN’s HASHMARKS examines the riddle wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a mystery that is the (for now) Patriots receiver.

Read more…

LIKE ‘72 FINS, ‘76 BUCS DON’T WANT TO SHARE RECORD: The 1976 Buccaneers agree with the 1972 Dolphins about one thing: They don’t want to see their accomplishments repeated this season:

BLOOMBERG reports that while Mercury Morris & other former Miami greats root against the Patriots going 16-0, survivors of Tampa Bay’s awful debut season don’t want the same thing to happen to this year’s Dolphins.In their first year of existence, the Bucs went 0-14 in ‘76, the last NFL team to have a winless season. Miami is currently 0-13, and a loss to the Ravens this weekend ties the NFL record for worst-ever season start.

Former TB LB and Hall of Famer Lee Roy Selmon doesn’t want company at the bottom of the record books, saying, “I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.”Former Bucs LB Steve Reese added, “I don’t want to see them go through what we went through.”

Meanwhile, former ‘72 Dolphins DB Dick Anderson has a similar message for Tom Brady & Co. about sharing an undefeated record: “I’m not interested in sharing. I wouldn’t be disappointed if the Patriots lost. If you told me somebody would be disappointed, I’d show you someone who wasn’t a winner.”

But Selmon has a different point of view about sharing the wealth: “If we won all our games, I’d welcome another team to come in and have that kind of experience as a team and as players. But I wouldn’t be excited about someone joining our club as the only winless team.”

HOGS GET PETRINO; WAZZU, S. MISS, NAVY NAB COACHES: The college coaching carousel seems to be slowing down.

While the Michigan mess continues to spin out of control, Arkansas has finally landed a leader, as Bobby Petrino fled the Falcons for Fayetteville.The NORTHWEST ARKANSAS TIMES reports the new coach signed a 5-year deal worth $2.8 million per season Tuesday night, a few hours after turning in his resignation to his Atlanta employers.

Petrino becomes the 4th ex-NFL coach to currently roam the SEC sidelines, joining South Carolina’s Steve Spurrier (Redskins), Alabama’s Nick Saban (Dolphins) and Kentucky’s Rich Brooks (Rams).All four also share the common trait of previously coaching successfully at college, only to poop out in the pros - Spurrier at Florida, Saban at LSU, Brooks at Oregon, and Petrino at Louisville.

Now other schools are also starting to fill in their coaching blanks. Washington State nabbed Eastern Washington coach & former Cougar player Paul Wulff to prowl around Pullman. Southern Miss will be tipping their hat to Oklahoma State coordinator Larry Fedora to lead the Golden Eagles program.

And Navy has promoted assistant Ken Niumatalolo to captain the Midshipmen in the wake of Paul Johnson’s departure. The hire is also a barrier-breaker, as Niumatalolo is believed to be the first-ever NCAA head coach of Polynesian ancestry.Checking the leaderboard, these teams still need a savior (or at least someone to send them to a bowl game):

• Colorado State
• Duke (Vandy coach Bobby Johnson declined the offer)
• Houston
• Michigan (Last report, Les Miles still saying no)
• Northern Illinois
• SMU
• UCLA

Oh, and there’s one more opportunity that’s just opened up. All interested parties should send their resumes and headshots, along with a self-addressed stamped envelope, to:Arthur Blank
Atlanta Falcons Football Club, Inc.
4400 Falcon Parkway
Flowery Branch, GA 30542

No postcards, please.

• Even after signing an extension with LSU, the DETROIT FREE PRESS reports that Les Miles is somehow still a candidate for the Michigan job:

• HOME RUN DEBRY gets a feel for baseball’s all-time crotch-grabbers.

• John Feinstein of the WASHINGTON POST suggests some better choices for SI’s Sportsman of the Year Award.

• KEN DORSEY’S JOCK STRAP chows down news of Falcons owner Arthur Blank hoping Michael Vick stays away from the fried chicken during his absence:

• The COLUMBIA (SC) STATE finds Steve Spurrier feeling sorry for two-time Heisman runner-up Darren McFadden.

• HUGGING HAROLD REYNOLDS thinks Vinny might get a little Testy with Keyshawn’s nickname for the Panthers QB.

• CONSTRUDA looks out below, as Toronto Argonauts QB Kerwin Bell needs to work on his spiking techniques:

• WITH LEATHER finds the Spurs owner channeling Bob Barker in wanting to keep San Antonio’s pets spayed & neutered.

• Jon McGrath of the TACOMA NEWS TRIBUNE explains why Tim Tebow wasn’t on his Heisman ballot.

• JOE SPORTS FAN finds that Tony Romo isn’t so enamored with Brett Favre after all:

• Darren Rovell of CNBC pours a 40 in remembrance of the inventor of Gatorade.• The COLUMBIA (SC) STATE hears that the Ol’ Ball Coach is not in the running for any recent job vacancies.

• NEW YORK NEWSDAY beholds the power of free t-shirts.

• During Joe Gibbs’ Tuesday press conference, AWFUL ANNOUNCING spots a vision of ESPN analyst John Clayton:

• For the University of New Orleans basketball team, STORMING THE FLOOR learns there’s no place like (being away from) home.• THE WORLD OF ISAAC takes a fond look back at the brilliant draft picks of Matt Millen.

• AOL FANHOUSE thinks the Tennesse