In the patchwork quilt of subjectivity that makes up the BCS, perhaps the most bizarre aspect is the coaches’ poll. While on one hand, it seems like coaches would be most qualified to judge the merit of one team over another, realistically, there’s no one coach or coaching staff who knows enough about the entire college football landscape to put together a good Top 25 without just pulling a “they’re high in the AP so whatever.”

(Is a comparison to Stalinist Russia just a little bit over the top? NYET, COMRADE!)

More importantly, the poll’s presence leaves the BCS selection process open to the undue influence of a handful of malicious coaches sandbagging a team out of contention. To that end, the USA TODAY has been publishing final coaches’ polls, eliminating any incentive to do so (unless a hypothetical coach really wants to spend time explaining to ESPN why he put Southern Cal at #22). So hey, glasnost’s working well, right? Great, let’s get rid of it!

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As evidenced by Wednesday night’s Pittsburgh Penguins’ romp over the Washington Capitals, not every Game 7 in hockey is something special. But let’s face it - most of them are. And when you throw overtime into the mix? It’s about as good as it gets. It’s drama that you cannot turn away from - at any second, the game and the series could be over with one thunderbolt.

So it was that the Carolina Hurricanes and Boston Bruins skated at the end of the first overtime in their Game 7 in Boston, looking for all the world like they were going to a second extra period - or more. And then out of nowhere, a shot was flipped towards the net, Bruins goaltender Tim Thomas was unable to control the rebound, and winger Scott Walker pounced to put the puck in the net for his first career playoff goal to end the game 3-2 and the series.

And the fact that it was Walker who scored the series-winner had to hurt Bruins fans doubly, since he was the person who sucker punched Bruins defenseman Aaron Ward near the end of Game 5. According to NHL rules, Ward should have been suspended for Game 6, but the league rescinded the suspension after a hearing on Monday. So he went from almost breaking Ward’s face to definitely breaking the Bruins’ hearts.

(Of course, even though it was a Game 7 overtime winner, it arguably wasn’t as impressive or as cold-blooded as how the Hurricanes scored two late goals to send the New Jersey Devils packing in Game 7 of their first-round series. If I’m the Penguins in the Eastern Conference finals, I’m doing everything I can to close them out early.)

The Detroit Red Wings’ Game 7 victory over the Anaheim Ducks didn’t go to overtime, but it sure had its share of drama. Detroit went up two goals early, only to see Anaheim claw back to level the score at 3-3. But Dan Cleary scored with three minutes to go to give the Red Wings the go-ahead goal and Detroit’s defense was able to make it stick, setting up a Western Conference Finals match-up with the Chicago Blackhawks.

Oh, you say that you prefer NBA Game 7s? Well, you’ll have your chance for satisfaction soon enough, as two teams fought off elimination to earn one deciding game. In Orlando, the subtle message that Dwight Howard sent to Orlando Magic coach Stan Van Gundy through the media (i.e. “quit being an idiot and get me the ball”) must have sunk in, as Howard had 23 points and 22 rebounds and the Magic forced a return trip to Boston with an 83-75 victory over the Celtics. None of which apparently excited Orlando fans to show up, as there were “patches of empty seats early in the game.”

No wonder Commissioner David Stern was at the Lakers vs. Rockets game. And speaking of late-arriving - someone might want to tell the Lakers that Houston is in a different time zone, because they clearly aren’t showing up for games there until it’s too late. Much like in Game 4, Los Angeles put themselves in a huge hole they never could get out of, at one point closing an early 16-point deficit to two points but finally running out of steam and falling 95-80 to force a Game 7 at Staples Center. Meanwhile, the Denver Nuggets wait and rest.

Here’s some more sports news to digest while I try to figure out how to be part of “Bike To Work Day” when I work from home.

• This is just getting sad: the NEW YORK DAILY NEWS says that former Yankee turned absolute train wreck Jim Leyritz checked himself into a psychiatric ward in Florida after calling his ex-wife and threatening suicide.



• The two biggest offseason losses for the Indianapolis Colts could be offensive coordinator Tom Moore and offensive line coach Howard Mudd, as the INDIANAPOLIS STAR reports that the two might be forced to retire thanks to changes in the NFL’s pension plan.
• Remember when Darius Miles was going to be “The Next Big Thing” in the NBA? That lasted about three months. Now he’s just a journeyman who loves strip clubs and, apparently, the weed: the ST. LOUIS POST-DISPATCH says that Miles was arrested on Wednesday night for having pot in his car while driving with a suspended license.
• Your daily Brett Favre Update Despite Any Real News: Chris Mortenson and Ed Werder combined mind powers to let us know that Favre consulted noted orthopedic specialist Dr. James Andrews to see if his bicep injury could be fixed without surgery. Which means that he’s definitely going to play for the Vikings. Or definitely not. Or whatever.
• COLLEGE FOOTBALL TALK says that Steve Spurrier won’t give up on trying to instigate the whole “Urban Meyer to Notre Dame” rumors. I’m going to start my own “Steve Spurrier to North Texas” rumor - it’s just about as credible.
• Major league umpire Paul Schriber had to apologize for touching the Tigers’ Magglio Ordonez while guiding him away from home plate following an argument over balls and strikes. The folks at BOOTLEGGER SPORTS aren’t buying this touchy-feely stuff, and they’re using “Bull Durham” as Exhibit A:
• Michael Phelps is back doing what he does best. I’ll wait for you to make a snarky comment about what that is…because what I meant was swimming, as the WASHINGTON POST reports that he’s in Charlotte for his first competitive swim meet since the 2008 Olympics.
• Milton Bradley: still crazy, but his suspension for bumping an umpire has been reduced from two games to one. And Rick Morrissey of the CHICAGO TRIBUNE suspects that the Chicago Cubs are OK with his insanity.
• They’re still working out the kinks at Yankee Stadium, and MLB.COM has the latest change: they’ve changed their policy to let more people be able to attend batting practice.
• You might remember the case of Peter Jeschke, the former Santa Barbara High School tennis coach accused of getting his underage players drunk as a reward for good play and trying to sleep with them? You can remove the “accused” from that sentence now, as the SANTA BARBARA INDEPENDENT says that he’s been found guilty in his trial.

Even though he has yet to coach a single game for the Tennessee Volunteers, Lane Kiffin is probably already my favorite coach in the SEC. Sure, he hasn’t won any national championships like Urban Meyer, Nick Saban, Les Miles, or Steve Spurrier, but in his first few months in Knoxville he’s already done more to entertain me than any of those guys and has won the national championship of my heart. Having a hot wife doesn’t hurt his case, either.

Whether it was the time Kiffin accused Urban Meyer of cheating when he wasn’t, or when he thought going topless would help recruit,  or when he insulted the high school of a player he’d just landed at Tennessee, Lane is always finding a new way to make college football’s offseason fun. So when a story comes out from prized wide receiver recruit Alshon Jeffrey that Kiffin tried to convince him to come to Tennessee instead of South Carolina by telling him that he’d end up pumping gas if he became a Gamecock, well, you know it’s true.

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Somehow this slipped by most people’s radar late Thursday, but there was an assertion of fact on the part of epically brilliant college football blogger Orson Swindle that shouldn’t go overlooked.

(Yup, this is Bobby Knight’s fault, too.)

Without further ado, this is what Mr. Swindle, a notable Florida Gators fan, says about a connection between Sex Cannon Rex Grossman and the chokingest college basketball coach in America:

“(Bob) Knight is an old acquaintance of Spurrier’s, and is responsible for showing a tape of a relatively unheralded Indiana recruit named Rex Grossman to (Steve) Spurrier. This makes Knight a friend of Gator Nation, and a human burned in effigy in Chicago.”

The comments came in response to Knight making an appearance for Spurrier at South Carolina, where the ESPN broadcaster gave an opening speech to the Gamecocks before spring practice. Read more…

The ink hasn’t even dried on Lane Kiffin’s contract with Tennessee, and he’s already embroiled in controversy at his new school. Naturally, the Ol’ Ball Coach is the one stirring all this up. Just because Phil isn’t there to kick around anymore doesn’t mean Spurrier’s going to stop giving UT the business.

Spurrier is claiming that Kiffin’s contact with recruit Jarvis Giles on Sunday violates NCAA rules because Kiffin hadn’t yet passed a required certification test that allows contact with recruits. Giles had pulled out of a verbal commitment to the Vols after Fulmer’s departure was announced, and he was reportedly deciding between Nebraska and…yes, South Carolina.

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Steve Spurrier is known for being something less than a strict disciplinarian (See exhibits A, B, and C). Which is fine, in some respects. Players shouldn’t be scared of their coach, and a happy player is often a motivated player. But Steve, there’s a difference between being a little lax with the rules and ignoring basic safety regulations. (This message brought to you by Jackie Chan.)

Freshman tailback Kenny Miles became the third South Carolina player in less than a year to be injured in a scooter crash, suffering bruises and abrasions. Tight end Nick Prochak (broken leg) and DE Clark Gaston (bruised knee and hip) went down in January in their own scooter mishaps. None of them were wearing helmets, BECAUSE SOUTH CAROLINIANS ARE REBELS. So what’s the Old Ball Coach going to do about this striking breach of common sense?

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According to THE STATE, the Ol’ Ball Coach turned into the Ol’ Sheriff last week, as South Carolina head coach Steve Spurrier alerted campus police to a suspicious man at the parking lot at Williams-Brice Stadium. The man was later arrested after he was spotted peering into car windows. I’m not saying Shaquille O’Neal has any competition from Spurrier for Top Sports Cop, but it’s nice to see a story involving “Spurrier” and “police” that doesn’t involve cafeteria brawls.

It’s nice to see that Spurrier was able to take time out of his busy schedule of coaching his team to another mediocre, disappointing season to help with safety. His other way of keeping the campus safe? Avoiding any big wins that might lead fans to get rowdy while celebrating.

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As anyone who’s seen Necessary Roughness knows, every now and then you have to get your guys riled up with a good old fashioned knock ‘em, sock ‘em bar fight with the locals. But if you’re a South Carolina Gamecock and are trying to pump yourself up after a horrible upset last week at the hands of Vanderbilt, a food fight in the lunchroom will have to suffice.

Five players, none of whom play much, were involved in an on-campus “brawl” with a few non-USC students at the Grand Market Place food court in the Student Union yesterday. No charges are expected to be pressed.

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• Novak Djokovic jostles with the Big Apple crowd, “Who’s faking it now?”

But at least he still has Leryn Franco on his side.

• Vanderbilt vanquishes Steve Spurrier & South Carolina yet again, and even pours a little salt into the Gamecocks’ wounds.

• New coach, new players, new attitude - it all adds up to the same ol’ result for the Washington Redskins.

• Stephon Marbury apparently isn’t very helpful to his relatives.

• Something’s cookin’ with Vince Young, as the Titans QB hopes you can’t beat his meat.

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After spending 11 months stewing over a stunning home loss to Vanderbilt last season that precipitated a late-season tailspin, South Carolina marched into Nashville on Thursday night and finally atoned for its football sins with a throttling of the lowly ‘Dores.

Or, maybe they didn’t.

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