Blog-Jam: Final Four Coaches in South Park Form

• GUTTY LITTLE BRUINS gets a little animated in presenting the Final Four coaches in South Park form.

Final Four coaches as South Park characters

We guess that’s John Calipari on the left, and what he’ll turn into after UCLA beats Memphis with a last-second behind-the-backboard non-called charge.

• YOU BEEN BLINDED feels Pampered by watching Charles Barkley and Kenny Smith compete in a diaper-changing contest.

• Now that European pro basketball is rising to NBA-skill levels, 100% INJURY RATE wonders if the cheerleaders are doing the same.

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Blog-O-Rama: Mayo Move Could Cost USC Money

• The LOS ANGELES TIMES’ ALL THINGS TROJAN learns that if O.J. Mayo does leave early, it could cost Tim Floyd & USC some scholarships.

Tim Floyd OJ Mayo USC

Jorge Sedano of Miami’s 790 THE TICKET believes the Big Cactus to be a Big Fraud.

• DEADSPIN motor overs news that one lucky Reds fan will win a new truck - if an impossible home run hits it. But then the vehicle would be dented, and who wants a dented truck?

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Blog-A-Roni: Steve Lavin’s Doesn’t Gel In Dayton

Chris Mottram of THE SPORTING BLOG has the hair-raising news of Steve Lavin forgoing his usual slick style.

Steve Lavin without hair gel

• AWFUL ANNOUNCING maps out which CBS stations will be carrying which Thursday’s Tournament games.

• Pink shoelaces, shaving coaches’ heads, centers without cellphones - DC SPORTS BOG finds it easy to root for Baylor.

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ESPN’s Phillips Wanted Met To Do Amphetamines

Le Anne Schreiber, ESPN’s Ombudsman, this week covers a recent, rather shocking on-air admission by ESPN baseball analyst and former New York Mets General Manager Steve Phillips.


During an Outside The Lines report, Phillips talked about a player he had signed when he was general manager of the Mets. The player’s performance dipped once he joined the team, and Phillips was told “the cause was the player’s going off amphetamines.

Phillips’ reaction? Read more…

Georga Hoops To Suffer For Tourney Ransacking

We’re an alumnus of the University of Georgia and would personally like to thank the Bulldogs basketball team for helping our fellow, former Baxter Hill residents learn the name of the head coach of the club: Felton (we think).

UGA Georgia Bulldogs

(Like us, looking for Spring Practice injury reports)

When you’re a Georgia sports fan in March, right about now you’re checking the Winder Barrow Daily Examiner Spring Football Practice injury ticker, and avoiding SEC basketball-related news at all cost.

All that said, we were happy to see our squad achieve the lowest seed of a power conference team in NCAA basketball tournament history. Sadly though, there is indeed, apparently, a catch. Thanks to our seemingly pre-pubescent Athletic Director Damon Evans.

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Blog-O-Rama: Erin Andrews Gives Hairstyle Advice

AWFUL ANNOUNCING teases us with Erin Andrews giving hairstyling tips to Purdue players - and asking Steve Lavin to donate some of his Crisco.

Steve Lavin Erin Andrews

BUGS & CRANKS fills in the blanks, as they play the spring training edition of Mad Libs.

ON 205TH throws us word that Derek Jeter struck out with Sienna Miller.

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Blogs: Greenberg Doesn’t Want To Hear About Golic’s Past Steroid Use

• AWFUL ANNOUNCING changes the subject, as radio host Mike Greenberg doesn’t want to talk about co-host Mike Golic’s steroid use:

Mike Greenberg Mike Golic

• The SMARTER GADGETS BLOG gives a toast to Prof. Manuel J. Castillo Garzón, who’s concluded that beer is actually better for you than water.• BRUINS NATION hits the rim with former UCLA star Baron Davis taking a verbal shot at Steve Lavin.

• Urine trouble now: STEROID NATION discovers that a Brazilian swimmer had swapped drug test specimens with her doctor.

• HOME RUN DERBY shakes their pom poms for the return of Mexican baseball cheerleaders:

Mexican baseball cheerleaders

• OJ MAYONNAISE holds an open house, as the USC basketball star eventually wants to get into real estate.• RUMORS AND RANTS warns relatives of the Minnesota Vikings not to die during the season, or it’s going to cost your football-playing family.

• The HAMILTON (ONT.) SPECTATOR learns that the CFL stands for Clean Football League, as this year’s Grey Cup is going green.

Steve Lavin Shrugs Off Wedding Fiasco Finally Ties Knot

LAVIN SHRUGS OFF WEDDING FIASCO, FINALLY TIES KNOT: After claiming he was forced to cancel his wedding in Laguna Beach last month because of an overwhelming response to wedding invitations, Steve Lavin finally got married last weekend in Europe:

Steve Lavin

An anonymous former Bruin player under Lavin has the news on JERSEY CHASER, while also trying to prop up the reputation of the most-reviled UCLA basketball coach in history.

Allison Stokke To Make In Studio Appearance At Los Angeles Radio Station

• STOKKE STILL RESISTS MEDIA (WITH ESPN APPEARANCE): Allison Stokke continues to garner *unwanted* media attention today as she appears in-studio at 5pm PT on KSPN-AM’s Mason and Ireland show in Los Angeles (we know, this post is worthless without pics).

Allison Stokke

• PGA Tour player K.J. Choi says that if he wins the PGA’s new FedEx Cup, he will give 100% of the $10M first prize to charity.

And it could happen, as Choi already has won twice this year, putting him at No. 5 in the FedEx Cup standings.

Dave Smith of Sporting News Radio has an interesting point: “How is its that hunting is legal and dogfighting is illegal? Hiding in the bushes, covering yourself in deer piss and then shooting a deer in the back of the head. … That’s a sport?”

• LARRY BROWN SPORTS has this find, via our dear friends at the NACOGDOCHES DAILY SENTINEL:

Cocks Get Jacked Headline

The head followed a win by the Stephen F. Austin Lumberjacks over the Jacksonville State Gamecocks.

• CHRISTINE DANIELS FINALLY FOUND OUT? Blind item in the NEW YORK DAILY NEWS today: “Which lady sports journalist has become locker-room gossip because of her hands-on approach to covering ball sports?

• Erin of BALLHYPE has the shocking news: Some sports bloggers are actually gainfully employed.

• DODGER PRESS PASSES SHOULD COME WITH GAS MASKS: Somehow Arash Markazi of is able to pen a piece on the pox of L.A. sports radio, Vic Jacobs, without a mention of the incredible stench emanating from Jacobs’ trademark, ferret-based headgear.

Vic Jacobs

The only thing more foul than the AM radio reporter’s oft-worn yet never washed Pancho? Steve Lavin’s breath (we’re serious).

• Jason Whitlock of the KANSAS CITY STAR unveils his version of Priest Holmes: A selfish faker.

Dave Krieger Mark Kriegel* of FOX SPORTS notes that Barry Bonds’ bagman, Greg Anderson, has done more hard time than notorious mob figure Sammy “The Bull” Gravano did (in the wake of 19 dead bodies).
(* - no more three fingers of Cutty for lunch!)

• WE’RE GUESSING NENE IS NO LONGER A FOREIGNER FAN: MONEY PLAYERS reports NBA player Nene was bilked out of millions and is “essentially broke thanks to agent (parasite) Joe Santos.

Foreigner Agent Provocateur

• BENMALLER.COM IS NO MORE: The tireless Ben Maller has now completely folded his invaluable (and free) sports news clipping service into the website. has started a similiar clipping service at its new website.

Steve Lavin Cancels Wedding After Overbooking Guest List

LYING LARDASS LAVIN STILL KEEPING UP APPEARANCES: BRUINS NATION lets us know that our favorite lying lardass, Steve Lavin, is keeping up appearances by moving his wedding to the gorgeous (blind and deaf?) Mary Ann Jarou (pictured below) to Europe at the last second after claiming too many people RSVP’d to their Laguna Beach nuptials.

Mary Ann Jarou

Excerpt of email sent out by the fraudulent flatterer and his unfortunate bride: “Unexpectedly we have received a stunning 95% RSVP on sent out wedding invitations. As a result, our wedding guest list has far exceeded the maximum capacity for a traditional ceremony and reception at The Montage Resort.

Steve Lavin

After giving serious consideration to alternative plans we have decided the best option at this late stage is to head to Europe to create a magical wedding day. Please accept our sincere apologies for any inconveniences this change in our wedding plans may have caused you.

Steve Lavin Erin Andrews

We are sorry that we will not be able to share our big day with family and friends. We will be sure to send you photos of our wedding upon our return from Europe.

The person (”yellcrew”) who originally posted the piece at the UCLA-based website says it best: “it should (now) be pretty much clear to everyone else why we have found Lavin to be so detestable, dishonest, scumbag, and a fraud all these years.

John Wooden was originally scheduled to be best man at the halotosis-impaired (yes, we did inhale, unknowingly at a UCLA postgame presser years ago) one’s wedding. Think he’s making the trip for the couple’s magical day in Belgium?