You probably remember that a few months back the story broke out that Yankees superstar Alex Rodriguez had used steroids while playing with the Texas Rangers. The story was broken by Selena Roberts, who was writing a book about A-Rod. Rodriguez handled the story pretty well, claiming that Roberts was stalking him and hiding in his bushes while making everything up. He would then go on to admit that he used steroids while playing with the Rangers to help live up to the pressure and expectations of his huge contract there.

Well, in the least shocking development of all time, it turns out that Rodriguez may have been lying about only using steroids while in Texas. Roberts’ book is out on May 12th, and in it there’s word that Rodriguez’s steroid use started way before he joined the Rangers, and even before he started playing with the Seattle Mariners. It seems A-Rod was looking for an advantage over his dodgeball opponents in high school as well.

Read more…

One of the oddest stories leading up to the this year’s NFL Draft has been the possible positive drug tests of former Boston College DT B.J. Raji and several other high-profile NFL prospects, as reported earlier by SI.COM and NFLDRAFTBIBLE.COM. While coverage of the story has been muted from, say, the front page of ESPN.COM, it’s been the cause of intense speculation on the part of columnists, bloggers, and NFL draftniks. Could it really be that such high-profile players screwed up so monumentally as to test positive for performance-enhancing or other drugs, so close to the NFL Draft?

Well, no. Mike Florio of PRO FOOTBALL TALK reports that the list of positive drug tests is out, and none of the players whose names have been thrown around in recent weeks — Raji, Vontae Davis, Clay Matthews, or Brian Cushing — are on it. How did so many media outlets, including and especially the august SI.COM, get it wrong? Read more…

Pro hockey is hard. Really, really hard. Even if nobody hits you, the sheer level of fitness and endurance needed to skate (and skate well) for that long is beyond the reach of most people. And then there’s the hitting. Oh god, the hitting. Try getting knocked onto a sheet of ice by someone coming at you at about 20 miles per hour, then see if you ever want to do that again. You’d probably say no.

(This is actually what Martin Brodeur looks like. Maybe.)

So with the intense physical demands of the sport comes equally intense pain afterward, and it’s well-known that one of the main benefits of steroids and HGH is the increased recuperative ability of the body; you get better faster. But there are also sufficient drawbacks (see Alzado, Lyle) that they’re illegal and strictly monitored by every major sport. Except if it’s the playoffs, in which case the NHL just says, “whatever!” The COLUMBUS DISPATCH has the incredible details: Read more…

Bring up the great home-run race of 1998 between Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa and the overwhelming reaction these days (other than anger) is “how did we fall for it?” and “why did we ignore the signs of steroid use?” But that was far from the first time that the media bought into the hype of an athlete who was too good to be true.

Nine years earlier, Tony Mandarich appeared on the cover of Sports Illustrated (pictured above), billed as the best offensive line prospect in the history of the NFL. He was an unbelievable athletic specimen — but one that was completely fabricated as a result of a mind-boggling regimen of steroids. When he stopped the steroids, he fizzled as a player (the Packers chose him over Barry Sanders) and then turned to painkillers…and then to alcohol.

Mandarich claims that he “never had a sober day” during his four years in Green Bay. But, unlike fellow draft bust Todd Marinovich, Mandarich has turned his life around and wants to use his own experience to educate young players on the dangers of drugs.

Read more…

Of all the gigs in college sports, there’s probably few as unpleasant as “urine test supervisor.” It’s exactly what it sounds like. You watch - intently, even - grown men take leaks into cups. You can’t really make it fun for anyone involved; one misplaced remark to lighten the mood and you’re looking at some stained trousers. Or worse.

(Of course, cheating on this sort of stuff doesn’t end well.)

And yet, it’s a wholly necessary task all the same, as football players have been trying to figure out ways to beat the system for decades. Of course, this discussion necessarily begins with Onterrio Smith and the Whizzinator. In fact, I almost wrote “hey remember the whizzinator that was awesome” and made that the entire post. But as admitted (and obvious) steroid user Tony Mandarich (you know, the world-famous photographer) points out, there are ways to rig your own little urine system with common items from Wal-Mart, and they’re weird as hell: Read more…

The folks up in Tri-Cities, Washington, might want to reconsider who they just let roam the streets on bond. A former player for the area’s arena football minor league team (and really, is playing minor-league arena football really a professional sport at all?) has been bailed out of prison after allegedly punching several people and biting the fingertip off of a corrections officer.

(a recent photo of the defendant)

Yeah, you read that right. He bit an officer’s finger off. Apparently, Michael Hodges was taking steroids this past season. A lot of steroids. Enough to where he says he doesn’t remember any of the incidents where he assaulted various people. And while he’s awaiting trial, he’ll just be hanging out in the Tri-Cities region. The judge told him not to use any drugs while he’s out. I’m sure that will work. He’s like some sort of Incredible Hulk gone horribly wrong.

Read more…

This year’s NCAA basketball tournament is apparently going to be the first one played without any #1 seeds, because nobody seems to want to claim any of them. This week, Pitt decided to be the latest top-ranked team to tank it, trailing by as many as 20 points in the second half in an 81-73 loss to Providence. The Friars are suddenly looking pretty good for an NCAA bid, with 9 Big East wins and 17 overall. This was their first win over a #1 team in nearly 33 years. Luckily for all involved, Jonathan Xavier was not at the game.

Professional golf, which ceased to exist last June when Tiger Woods got hurt, will finally resume today. Nobody’s happier for this development than the other golfers who Tiger will be competing against, whoever they are. Tiger’s first round match at the Accenture World Match Play Championships tees off at 2:02 Eastern time this afternoon. His opponent is someone named Brendan Jones, who just learned how to play golf last week. How confident is NBC that Tiger will make it to Saturday’s semifinals? They’re airing ads promoting Tiger’s appearance on the NBC broadcast this weekend.

(He didn’t win anything. This is just the trophy he gets to carry around every day for being Tiger Woods)

Do you have World Baseball Classic fever yet? Does anyone? This WBC seemed like a good idea a couple of years ago, but this year’s rosters are devoid of many of the sport’s biggest stars. Your U.S. roster features such giants of the game like Chris Ianetta, Jeremy Guthrie, and Matt Thornton. The Dominican team is without Albert Pujols and Manny Ramirez (who’s from New York City, mind you), but now gets to deal with the distraction that is A-Roid. It’s all moot, of course, since the powerhouse Italians are winning the whole thing. Who can stop Val Pascucci and Nick Punto?

As a reward for winning the title last year, the Celtics get to have 29 players on their roster. Case in point: the C’s have signed the recently waived Mikki Moore, who was playing for the Kings. And now the long-rumored acquisition of Stephon Marbury is about to happen, since Steph was finally bought out by the Knicks. Shockingly, New York was not successful in swinging a trade for a guy whose salary is $21 million and has spent his season hanging out at bus stops and buying tickets to see his own team play.

 • TMZ says that Charles Barkley might have to don a pink prison uniform during his five-day stay in the same jail that houses rapper DMX. Although, it appears as if Chuck has been given “work release” and only has to be in jail from 8 p.m. to 6 a.m. So, basically he’s staying in a crappy hotel for five nights and wearing a pink snuggie.

• Charles Goldberg of the Auburn blog THE GOLD MINE writes that highly-regarded high school running back David Oku has moved from Oklahoma to Lincoln, Nebraska to be closer to some girl he met while on an official visit to Nebraska. And his parents are OK with their kid taking off to go live on his own and date a college girl. This seems like a great idea.

• Speaking of Stephon Marbury, the poor guy had to accept a buyout of around $2-3 million less than his salary for “playing” this season for the Knicks. But Darren Rovell of CNBC says that Marbury earned enough that he could’ve bought a pair of his Starbury sneakers every nine seconds.

• The CFL isn’t recognizing there’s a recession, according to the VANCOUVER SUN. Four CFL cities (all of which are home to teams called the Roughriders) are in the process of securing funds for new stadiums or improvements to their current facilities.

• Former major league pitcher Rick Helling on steroids: “There is this problem with steroids. It’s happening. It’s real. And it’s so prevalent that guys who aren’t doing it are feeling pressure to do it because they’re falling behind. It’s not a level playing field. We’ve got to figure out a way to address it.” When did he say this? 1998. TIME has the story of a guy who went ignored way too long.

• The SPORTS HERNIA points out that the Mets’ Fernando Tatis missed Monday’s intrasquad game with a rather unusual injury:

• PRO FOOTBALL TALK says that Eric Mangini and the rest of the new Browns staff is “lukewarm” on Brady Quinn. Which is rather insulting, considering Quinn won all those national championships in college.

• As if there aren’t enough Shulas running around, Dan Shula — son of David and grandson of Don — has been hired as an assistant coach at Illinois State.

• The Supreme Court may be hearing a case that results in a ban on public school coaches participating with members of their teams in prayer or other religious expression, according to the TENNESSEAN. Current precedent doesn’t allow coaches to initiate prayer, but doesn’t necessarily ban them from participating.

• The Oakland A’s have scrapped plans to build a new ballpark in the East Bay suburb of Fremont. San Jose has now apparently emerged as a new contender to rip the team away from the Mausoleum.

• WITH LEATHER says that Jason Giambi has aspirations to be a bouncer at a strip club after he retires from baseball. And Rick’s Cabaret in New York City is first in line with a job offer (link somewhat NSFW).

So they handed out a bunch of awards last night, and frankly, we don’t care. Until the “Academy” lifts their de facto ban on nominating sports movies with animals as the lead, we’re boycotting the Oscars and we think you ought to as well.

(Sweeping the Oscars in our hearts.)

And as if you needed further proof, The Wrestler, which was probably the best sports movie since Air Bud 2: Golden Receiver Rudy, was snubbed entirely by the Academy last night, as traditional Oscar-bait roles like “impoverished underexposed foreign minority” and “socially stigmatized overachiever” took center stage for the 90 millionth year in a row. But for Mickey Rourke and us, we’ll always have his exuberant speech from the Spirit Awards, which features insanely NSFW speech.

Oh yeah, he definitely did roids.

And there was one other nice sports moment at the Academy Awards: Will Smith, tripping over some pedestrian-at-best lines from the teleprompter, goes boom:

(Click here if, lord forbid, you don’t get it.)

(”Nope, I see nothing wrong with 30 shots and 5 assists.”)

But back in the real world, we had another big individual performance: Dwyane Wade dropping 50 on the Magic. One problem–none of the rest of the Heat decided to show up, and Orlando ended up blowing Miami out, 122-99. Dwight Howard was the man for the Magic once again with 32 and 17… and this 75-foot shot, which didn’t count but makes me feel like it somehow should have. If you needed more evidence that going Berzerker like this was actually a bad idea on Wade’s part, the Heat are now 0-4 when Wade scores at least 44 points. The Eastern Conference is dutifully taking notes on giving D-Wade the long jumper all night long.

(Welcome back, man! But about those cornrows…)

And speaking of notes for the Eastern Conference, Delonte West is back for the Cleveland Cavaliers, and that is bad, bad news for everyone else. The Cavs dispatched the Pistons, 99-78, in a game that wasn’t really that close at all; the Cavs led 67-34 at the break (!!!) and coasted to a jarringly easy win. West led all scorers with 25 points, including a 5-5 performance behind the arc.

Some more quick links to peruse while you face full life consequences…

• Remember the murder of Eddy Curry’s ex-girlfriend and their daughter? The man her family (and Eddy’s son) had been swearing was the killer has finally been arrested.
• Steve Blake racks up 14 assists in the first quarter, tying an NBA record… and finishes with 17 on the game. Slacker.
• Yes, Andy LaRoche, if the doctors tell you to do certain things to help your injured back, you should probably do them.
• Matt Kenseth 2, rest of NASCAR, 0. That’s probably not the way the Nextel Cup works, but whatever, Kenseth won again.
  

• Marty Turco may have registered the save of the year on superman Jonathan Toews. Or, in hockey parlance, “kick save, and a beauty…”
• As a freelance tree proctologist, I know this story is a total lie.
• One of the guys fighting for the starting QB spot at Nebraska just decided to transfer amid ominous “really can’t go there” language. Yeah, the NFL’s going to love that dedication; great idea, man.
• Jacoby Ellsbury is yet another sports victim of the Stanford money scheme, but unlike Johnny Damon, diversification means Ellsbury can still pay his bills. This sort of thing is yet another reason why I choose not to be insanely rich (cough).

  

• The Florida president thinks Urban Meyer’s the kind of guy who’ll just “burn out and quit” from Florida instead of taking another coaching job. To be fair, coaching a football team and fighting the Joker at the same time is both physically and emotionally taxing.
• Name one sports announcer who can say “this bitch didn’t mean a thing to me” (skip to 6:33 in the video) and not only make it remotely SFW, but totally get away with it. If you said anybody but Don Cherry, set yourself on fire.
• New disease you really wish you didn’t know existed, but thanks to sports, you now know about and can never ever forget: Eye cancer! DOUBLE FATAL ILLNESS BONUS: Same guy was the first major leaguer to wear an insulin pump on his belt. Dude, just admit it: God hates you.
• Garret Anderson signs a 1-year deal with the Braves after spending a long career with Anaheim. This is like when Willie Mays finished his career with the Mets, except if Willie Mays had like 1 good year instead of 15.

Last February, the Houston Rockets were crippled - literally - by the season-ending foot injury to center Yao Ming. In what must feel like Groundhog’s Day for the team, this February is also bringing bad news for the team: their other All-Star anchor, Tracy McGrady, told ESPN.COM’s Stephen A. Smith that he needs microfracture surgery on his injured left knee and is done for the season.

Keep mind that this is coming from the mouth of Smith, so take it with a grain of salt (right, Chris Bosh?), and the Rockets aren’t confirming the report. But they sure aren’t denying it either, and with Rockets owner Leslie Alexander telling the HOUSTON CHRONICLE to expect official news on McGrady later this week, it looks highly likely that T-Mac is going on the shelf for a long time.

Alexander also told the paper that McGrady is a “superstar” and that the team has no plans to trade him. Which is probably code for “we really wanted to trade him, but now that he’s damaged goods we’re stuck with him.” How much his absence will impact the Rockets is unclear - he’s either been ineffective or out of the line-up for most of the season to begin with, but losing him can’t help.

The only thing injured on Alex Rodriguez right now is his reputation, which is doing about as well as Jack from Jack in the Box. His press conference at Yankee spring training didn’t help much - I would recommend not using the phrase “I’m here to take my medicine” again any time soon - and might have got his unnamed cousin in trouble.

Rodriguez claims that his cousin brought something called “boli” from the Dominican Republic, which the USA TODAY says usually refers to the steroids Dianabol or Deca-Durabolin. And now a DEA agent is ominously warning that “those who violate drug laws are always at risk of arrest and prosecution.” We don’t know who this cousin is yet - although BIG LEAGUE STEW has a list of candidates - but I’m guessing we’ll find out soon enough.

In related news, the AP reports that the MLBPA has sent a memo to its players informing them how to respond to questions about the 2003 drug testing. Their recommendation: don’t respond. The memo also goes into detail about little details like why the tests weren’t destroyed, and how the union did not give advance knowledge of tests of players.

Finally, fans who tuned into the Kentucky/Vanderbilt game last night expecting fireworks had to be greatly disappointed. Not in the game itself, but in the lack of a halftime interview between ESPN sideline reporter Jeannine Edwards and the man she spurned, Wildcats head coach Billy Gillispie.

Alas, no luck last night. As the TENNESSEAN notes, with the game tied at halftime Edwards chose to interview Vanderbilt coach Kevin Stallings instead of Gillispie, telling the paper “I cut my losses.” This is, of course, the entirely wrong approach, and there should have been a producer in Edwards’ ear demanding she interview Gillispie. Not having her interview Gillispie would be like if Chuck Wepner replaced Muhammad Ali at the last minute for “The Rumble in the Jungle” - totally unacceptable.

• COLLEGE FOOTBALL TALK says Texas Tech’s Board of Regents has a teleconference scheduled on Friday to discuss the status of head football coach Mike Leach, who turned down the school’s $12.7 million contract offer. But they also might be discussing AD Gerald Myers, who is clashing with Leach. Sounds like it’s time for a Loser Leaves Town cage match.



• WJXT-TV has word of a high-school football coach in Jacksonville, Florida who was arrested after allegedly going online to solicit a 16-year-old boy to have sex with him at a McDonald’s. Yuck. (Also, everyone knows from “The Humpty Dance” that you get busy in a Burger King bathroom, not McDonald’s.)
• Larry Bowa hates Brad Penny with the type of white hot passion usually only found in telenovelas and Billy Gillispie interviews. The RIVERSIDE PRESS-ENTERPRISE asked Bowa about Penny’s claim that Bowa talked behind his back, which prompted this retort: “The same guy that’s never on time, out of shape, has one complete game (in his Dodgers career)? That Brad Penny?”
• The SANTA ROSA PRESS-DEMOCRAT says that despite rumors to the contrary, you can forget about the San Francisco 49ers pursuing Michael Vick when he returns from exile in Leavenworth. Same goes for the Buccaneers, the Jets and the Lions.
• And speaking of NFL players in prison: the NEW YORK TIMES notes that Giants running back Ahmad Bradshaw is heading back into the stony lonesome to finish serving his 60-day sentence for parole violations.
• The BOSTON GLOBE looks at the list of witnesses in the Barry Bonds trial and finds Patriots special teams captain Larry Izzo, who is expected to testify that Bonds’ trainer Greg Anderson gave him performance-enhancing drugs back in 2003. There goes his Hall of Fame chances…
• Police tell WGRZ-TV that the Bills’ Marshawn Lynch not only had a loaded gun in his car when he was arrested last week in California, but also pot. Roger Goodell is coming for you, Marshawn - may God have mercy on your sou.
• The LOS ANGELES TIMES says Cal State Northridge starting point guard Josh Jenkins is in stable condition after being injured in a single-car accident this past Saturday which killed the driver.
• MLIVE.Com reports that former Michigan All-American cornerback and current Indianapolis Colt Marlin Jackson is testifying in a civil case involving a fight he had as a student back in 2003. The alleged victim claims Jackson hit him with a bottle, while Jackson says it was a punch in self-defense; he is countersuing for damages to his reputation.
• Now coming to the stage: steroids. The DALLAS MORNING NEWS has word on Back Back Back, a new play based on the Oakland A’s and the steroid culture in the late 1980s.

It was billed as the biggest face off between supreme big men we’ll see all season, but it never materialized. Instead, Pittsburgh’s first-ever win over a No. 1 team devolved into a one-man gun show, with DeJuan Blair scoring 22 points and pulling down a career-high 23 rebounds in front of 7-foot-3 UConn center Hasheem Thabeet, proving that you don’t always have to be the tallest player to have the biggest impact.

(Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.)

In fact, Blair proved that you don’t even have to be the strongest, though he probably is. Really, you just need to get the other guy in foul trouble.

Thabeet was never a factor because he was constantly in foul trouble. He picked up a third foul early in the second half, then exited halfway through the latter frame with a cheap fourth foul while tussling with Blair. In fact, he had nearly as many fouls as points; the African export finished with a measly five points. The Pitt power forward, meanwhile, took an elbow straight to the eye, continued to stick his butt out to box out for rebounds and eventually finished with an NBA-Draft making performance and a puffy eye to show for it.

As much as the win may resonate with the NCAA Tournament Committee, it’ll linger longer in imaginations because of one play early on. With the game’s momentum still being fleshed out, Thabeet tried to reach over Blair for a rebound. Instead of getting the ball, he got a WWE-style takedown, complete with an awkward painful landing and amazement that his arm didn’t rip out of its socket. In fact, we’re still stunned that his shoulder is in one piece.

Sam Young also had 25 points for Pitt, proving that the trick to beating UConn, even with Thabeet a clear standard-setter among the country’s blocked shot stars, is to pound the ball inside. Forget that UConn lost perimeter stalwart Jerome Dyson to a season-ending knee injury. Just pump the ball inside.

Well, we can all say goodbye to the “Brett Favre to the Vikings” storyline. According to a pretty reliable source — Vikings owner Zygi Wilf — Favre won’t be playing in Minnesota next season.

“I would have been interested 15 years ago,” Wilf said. “No, I’m not interested. No way. I think he’s done well, he retired, it’s good. He’s a great guy. I’m just happy that we don’t have to keep on facing him.”

Look, we all knew that the Jets thought he was washed up, and clearly the entirety of the knee-jerk New York media did, too. But Zygi Wilf insinuating that Favre is a full 15 years beyond his prime? That’s kind of harsh, don’t you think? Especially for a team that seems like a likely landing spot for recently non-tendered free agent Jeff Garcia. Think about it: Favre is done at age 39 (going on 40) but Garcia can still play a week before his 39th birthday? All quarterbacks are not created equally, and we, for one group, have never been willing to put Garcia in the Favre category.

(Sorry Peter King, no Vikings comeback.)

People keep throwing Alex Rodriguez under the bus after his steroid revelations, with Phillies pitcher Jamie Moyer the most recent to call any validity thrown his way into question. More interesting, however, has been the reaction of managers and players alike to call for even harsher penalties for positive tests as the sport moves forward.

(Big Papi: Steroids = missed year.)

That’s exactly what both David Ortiz and Ozzie Guillen did on Monday, which is interesting since both allegedly are friends of A-Rod (can we call them FOARs from now on?). Ortiz offered particularly strong statements when asked about how he would fix the game by ESPN’s roving baseball Larry King figure, Peter Gammons.

“I would suggest everybody get tested, not random, everybody,” he said. “You go team by team. You test everybody three, four times a year and that’s about it.”

And if a player tests positive for steroids?

“Ban ‘em for the whole year,” he said. “I think you clean up the game by the testing. I know that if I test positive by using any kind of substance, I know that I’m going to disrespect my family, the game, the fans and everybody, and I don’t want to be facing that situation. So what would I do? I won’t use it, and I’m pretty sure that everybody is on the same page,” he said.

Seems simple enough, doesn’t it? So will it happen? Not a chance. Even if Bud Selig pushed the absolute limit of his authority (and we’ve seen the limits of that in the past week) to get the change through, there’s little to no chance the MLB Players Association would give in to the demands in the middle of a renegotiated collective bargaining agreement that already includes penalties which are harsher than they want. And all they have to do to ram home the possibility of gross inequity is cite J.C. Romero’s current grievance. Suddenly, an entire year for an accidental GNC purchase makes Major League Baseball look preposterously over-aggressive.

(Hey, he’d have more time for banquets with a year off.)

There’s no safe zone here for baseball, and while that’s sad, it’s also appropriate, considering what the sport got away with in the 90s. Karma can be a bitch, and it’s being one right now for the national pastime. If you need more evidence, tune in to A-Rod’s Yankee press conference this afternoon. It’ll be on just about every frequency at 1:30 p.m. EST. The scrolling coverage ticker on ESPN has already started.

• Somehow this went completely overlooked during the NBA’s All-Star weekend, but the Slam Dunk contest may have been host to outright xenophobia on Saturday night. Not only were the dunks by Trail Blazer Rudy Fernandez impressive, they included a touching tribute that actually had significant sentimental resonance. That’s more than you can say about Gerald Green’s jersey tribute to Dee Brown or Josh Smith’s tribute to Dominique Wilkins, but commentators gushed about those efforts. And the inability to capture what Fernando Martin meant to basketball in general? This piece from THE PAINTED AREA does it a lot more justice.

• Best random thought from the All-Star aftermath: “What will they call Amar’e Stoudemire’s Phoenix restaurant after the trade deadline?”
• It was bound to happen eventually: Right Guard is hosting a hoops fantasy camp for homeless children, in conjunction with the Salvation Army. It sounds crazy, but it’s kind of a touching idea, isn’t it?
• 90 mph in a 35 mph zone, kid without a seatbelt and Jason Richardson’s suspension will last for … one game? Really? Evidently Phoenix is desperate.
• Richardson wasn’t the only hoopster getting booked. Nets center Sean Williams had to scrounge around to post bail outside Boston when he showed up on Boston College’s campus for the B.C.-Duke game on Sunday.
• Danny Granger’s portrait of perseverence: Guns, drugs, a neighborhood called ‘The Dump’ and a Dad who would make Clint Eastwood blush.



• Former L.A. Ram, rap mogul Suge Knight keeps getting the crap kicked out of him. According to TMZ, the weekend festivities in Phoenix were no exception.



• Hawaii cornerback JoPierre Davis has been really busy … breaking every rule possible. Here’s his rap sheet from the past year: one count of sexual assault, one count of burglary, and potentially two more counts of assault and possession.
• Another college football player unlikely to bring in a lot of the free swag Florida hands out for being in the “high character” club: Offensive tackle Carl Johnson, who was arrested for violating a temporary restraining order.
• Memphis really wants to make sure that FedEx feels it’s getting the most out of its sponsorship cash. How? By sporting FedEx colored unis for a game. Bring your sunglasses for the SMU game.



• Don’t write Phillip Fulmer’s NCAA coaching eulogy just yet, says Phil Fulmer.
• Speaking of off the map, former Pitt and Stanford coach Walt Harris is settling for coaching quarterbacks at Akron? Are you serious? And more importantly, will he still be wearing Transitions lenses?
• So much for stopping steroids where they start in high school: Florida is canceling its high school testing program because of a lack of funding.
• Someone stop Noel Gallagher while he’s still ahead — or at least even — and can get a free pint for being in Oasis. He’ll officially be insufferable if he starts a Manchester City theme band.
• Arsenal star Samir Nasri would rather play with his Playstation than with a comely lass.

• One more from soccer: Sometimes it doesn’t pay to be a ref, no matter how much it actually pays. Just check the video from an Italian Serie A game above.