SPEECHLESS - STEPHEN A-1 WORST SPORTS ANNOUNCER: It’s well-known how importantly Stephen A. Smith feels about the blogosphere. Now the internet masses have been led astray by the “untrained writers” once more.

WITH LEATHER shares the important results of an important poll offered up by AOL FANHOUSE, and Stephen is A-1 on top of the hot list.

Too bad for Screamin’ A, it’s recognition for being America’s Worst Sports Announcer. The blogger basher was able to beat out such cringe-inducing competition as Lee Corso, Shannon Sharpe, and in the tourney topper, Monday Night mouth Tony Kornheiser.

Congrats, S.A.S.! Have a cheez doodle on us.

SMITH: BLOGS “SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED” BIG AUDIENCE: After entertaining us with some unintentional comedy gold late last week from Stephen A. Smith, Tom Hoffarth brings us an encore of Screamin’ A.’s personal theater of the absurd - by releasing more quotes from an apparently epic interview.

Smith first claims to Hoffarth that “internet writers” have no right to reach a large audience (we take it he’s actually serious): “And when you look at the internet business, what’s dangerous about it is that people who are clearly unqualified get to disseminate their piece to the masses. I respect the journalism industry, and the fact of the matter is …someone with no training should not be allowed to have any kind of format whatsoever to disseminate to the masses to the level which they can. They are not trained. Not experts.“The fun continues as Smith tells Hoffarth that bloggers have “sabotaged” the dinosaur print media: “The people who suffer are the common viewers out there and, more importantly, those in the industry who haven’t been fortunate to get a radio or television deal and only rely on the written word. And now they’ve been sabotaged. Not because of me. Or like me. But because of the industry or the world has allowed the average joe to resemble a professional without any credentials whatsoever.”

Smith’s well-reasoned comments about “sabotage” committed by bloggers perplex us. Why would the, as Smith calls them, “common viewers” turn away from the boundless wit and wisdom of men like Bill Conlin, Sam Smith and Dan Shaughnessy. Surely they entertain and engage more than MEN WHO LOOK LIKE OLD LESBIANS.

Or maybe not.Finally, Smith addresses the hurtful accusation that he once wrote a column for the PHILADELPHIA INQUIRER on his Blackberry: “No, that’s total fabrication. I wrote my column on a Blackberry one time, at the (2004) NBA draft, I was on vacation (from the newspaper).”

The gall of those heartless accusers! Thanks for clearing that up, Mr. Smith!

• THE BIG LEAD has important news - Stephen A. Smith wants to put his pen back to the paper by writing for ESPN The Magazine:

• The LONDON GUARDIAN tries to shine some light on the case of a Chelsea soccer player blinded by freakin’ lasers.

• SPORTS ILLUSTRATED announces their 2007 Sportsman of the Year - Brett Favre.

• DEADSPIN promises this is the last time they’ll ever bring up Colin Cowherd:

• With his Trojans stuck at #7, The LONG BEACH (CA) PRESS-TELEGRAM has Pete Carroll blasting the BCS.

• The CONTRA COSTA TIMES laces up, as the San Francisco Giants turn their ballpark into an ice rink.

• THE GRAND NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP believes the real reason why Les Miles isn’t Michigan-bound is Lloyd Carr’s continued presence:

• AOL FANHOUSE tampers with the realization that Hank Steinbrenner’s open coveting of Johan Santana is against MLB rules.

• On a tip from SPORTSKARMA, Texas A&M’s BATTALION brushes off news about an Aggie with the world’s longest leg hair.

SMITH SCREAMIN’ FOR ATTENTION; TALKS “RETALIATION“? Sports media gossip hound Tom Hoffarth of the LOS ANGELES DAILY NEWS has a sitdown with ESPN’s Stephen A. Smith and coaxes some unintentionally amusing comments out of the recently inquisitioned Inquirer columnist.

Of his “Screamin’ A. Smith” nick, he lamented to Hoffarth, “I detest that.” So much so that he also admitted, “I do get a little loud on the airwaves sometimes, there’s no question about that. And I do need to tone it down. Sometimes I don’t even know how loud I sound. That’s something I’m working on - literally.”

“Literally“? So does that mean he’s using something like this to help along in the process?The most predictable weirdest part of the interview came at the end of Hoffarth’s piece, when Smith reminded us of the Isiah-Stephon spat, with his own smattering of vague, idle threats: “And not only that, but I could hurt these people anytime I want with retaliation, but I won’t. It’s not my style. I’m in a blessed position. Why hurt someone else and their credibility? You’d just wish that someone would recognize that, listen, we’re all supposed to be family. I challenge anyone to come to talk to me about if I talk about my colleagues in a negative fashion. Doesn’t happen. Just doesn’t happen.”

Like you, we have NO IDEA who Smith is talking about (and no word if Hoffarth was able to talk him off the ledge).

• TROJAN WIRE gets a leg up on the world’s luckiest trainer:

• GHOSTS OF WAYNE FONTES wants to know what’s in it for them, as they sign up for incentive-based sports contracts.

• JEN’S FREE THROWS is all wet, as Greg Oden hits the pool for his rehab.

• SONS OF SAM MALONE checks the calendar, as FOX SPORTS forgets that 2004 ever happened:

• SPORTS MEDIA WATCH knows it will be a scary Halloween, as ESPN’s NBA analysts for that night are scheduled to be Stuart Scott, Stephen A. Smith and Bill Walton.

• YOU BEEN BLINDED showcases Serena “Sugar Fly” Williams.

• STORMING THE FLOOR takes a big look at the little guys, as they preview the mid-majors:

• EPIC CARNIVAL misses their assignment, as Chiefs TE Tony Gonzalez will block for you when he wants to.

• If Joe Torre needs employment, the minor league Brockton Rox are happy to oblige.

• CAJUN BOY IN THE CITY doesn’t recall comparing LSU coach Les Miles to Ronald Reagan:

• ICE NETWORK isn’t lying through their teeth when they say they have an interview with Nancy Kerrigan.

• Eva’s marriage to the Spurs’ MVP may be for keeps, as EXPO SAY learns that the “Desperate Housewives” star will now go by Eva Longoria Parker.

• On the backlash of Nebraska firing AD Steve Pederson, EVERYDAY SHOULD BE SATURDAY offers to help coach Bill Callahan pack his bags:

• The LONDON (ONTARIO) FREE PRESS reports the Toronto Raptors may try to bring Kobe north of the border.

• However, REAL GM counters that Bryant is more Bullish on Chicago.

• Quite frankly, THE BIG LEAD has some important news: Stephen A. Smith is out at the PHILADELPHIA INQUIRER:

• RED’S ARMY is hit with too many of Cupid’s arrows, as they can’t decide which Celtic is hotter.

• GAME RECOGNIZE GAME tries to keep their sides from splitting after watching these humorous basketball spots.

• DC SPORTS BOG hears Redskins receiver Brandon Lloyd respond to Troy Aikman’s in-booth criticism by questioning his personal life - not that there’s anything wrong with that:

• Look out, Macarena: STORMING THE FLOOR stands at attention, as the hip-hop anthem “Soulja Boy” seems to be sweeping the sports nation.

• While that madness marches on, BLOOMBERG reports on a different fad sweeping through the MLB: hedge funds!

• The NEW YORK TIMES calls up the bullpen cart, as the location of the new A’s stadium could make a bad traffic situation even worse:

• BUC’ EM doesn’t feel the brotherly love, as retired RB Tiki Barber doesn’t want to play with Ronde down in Tampa.

• THE ANGRY T sees the light, as a Kentucky basketball recruit is on a mission from God (as directed by Mom).

• DEADSPIN can hard-ly wait for the NBA season to start, as Doc Rivers looks excited to be coaching the Celtics:

• NATION OF ISLAM SPORTSBLOG knows every answer is IMPORTANT!, as they interview Stephen A. Smith.

• HOME RUN DERBY is juuust a bit outside, as they present Game 4 of the Indians-Yankees series, as called by Harry Doyle.

• The LOS ANGELES TIMES knows Mark Kelso has a good head on his shoulders, as the former Buffalo Bill with the enlarged helmet is helping design a new model to keep migraines to a minimum:

• MIAMI SPORTS BLOG takes off the gloves, as Joey Porter and Kellen Winslow Jr. get ready to match wits again this Sunday at Browns Stadium.

• SIGNAL TO NOISE doesn’t find the humor in “The Fighting Skip Holtzes“.

• BLACK SHOE DIARIES updates us on the Joe Paterno road rage revelations with a revisionist re-telling that praises the Penn State coach.

• Buehler, Buehler, Buehler: MR. IRRELEVANT uncovers a young Ben Stein showing his pride (and gut) for the ‘Boys:

• What’s up with YAHOO! SPORTS? Not only did the Texans move back to Dallas, but HUGGING HAROLD REYNOLDS notes that they had Nick Folk kick a 73-yard field goal.

• HOUSTONED BALLZ tunes out, as they’ve had enough of Dane Cook’s MLB playoff presence.

• MEDIA BISTRO knows everything they say is important, as Stephen A. Smith is lawyering up to pounce back at a Philly paper:

• ALLIGATOR ARMY needs caller ID, as they transmit the transcripts from Tim Tebow’s cell phone messages.

• Here’s everything you need to know about the NFL’s premiere athlete - Tony Freakin’ Romo.

• WITH LEATHER wouldn’t mind taking a dip with the ladies of the Texas Tech swim team:

• MR. SUNSHINE isn’t too thrilled about Mike Tirico and Stephen A. Smith taking over Dan Patrick’s ESPN radio spot.• EPIC CARNIVAL examines which ex-USC RB is having the better NFL season.

• Where’s the love? DEADSPIN reports some U.S. right-wing groups are mad at a Canadian team for allowing their logo in a gay hockey film:

• MY BRAIN SAYS RAGE doesn’t believe Andy Reid will be joining Mensa anytime soon.• STEROID NATION gets Jim Bouton’s take on the drug state in baseball.

• THE SCORES REPORT declassifies news that the J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets were infiltrated by S-P-I-E-S from the P-A-T-S, Pats, Pats, Pats:

• YOU BEEN BLINDED asks if you got milk (to spit at your friends for a Toyota contest).

• AOL FANHOUSE warns Florida Gators fans not to chomp and drive.

• THE BIG LEAD wants to know where in the world is Stephen A. Smith:

• Can you smellllllll what the GHOSTS OF WAYNE FONTES are cooking, with their picks of the best WWF/E wrestling entrances.

• Peter May of the BOSTON GLOBE feels the pangs of patriotism, as many NBA European players want to suit up for their national teams in the offseason.