Fake Security Guard Steals Child’s Hockey Stick

With apologies to Keith Olbermann: we have found the worst person in the world, and they live in Chicago. It’s not easy to ruin the very special Winter Classic, especially for a Detroit fan, but it happened to a 14-year-old boy when someone claiming to work at Wrigley Field walked off with the boy’s once-in-a-lifetime souvenir.

Kalan Plew

(Artist’s depiction of the victimized child.)

Kalan Plew rushed rinkside to see his Red Wings leave the ice after the game, and maybe even get a high-five. But he caught Henrik Zetterberg’s eye, and the Wings winger gave him his stick. As the boy sprinted to show his father, someone dressed as a security guard told the boy he couldn’t have the stick in the stadium, and he could pick it up at the customer relations office. You can guess what happens next: the man just walks off with the stick, which is probably on eBay as we speak.

This is why we can’t have nice things. Read more…

Yankees Join Firings in Baseball Kickback Scandal

If you were going to hide a story (especially a sports-related one), when might you make your move? Say, a Friday night? Check. August? Check. During the Olympics? Yahtzee.

In absolutely unrelated news, the New York Yankees canned their Latin American and Dominican Republic scouting directors being investigated for skimming off the top of bonuses for Dominican players. They join former White Sox and Red Sox officials shopping for jobs that don’t mind when you offer people bonuses but keep a huge chunk for yourself.

Pool boy

But hey, look at the Chinese! They’re doing all kinds of stuff! Over there! That’s bad! La la la.
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