When some alien race arrives here in the distant future and digs up the artifacts of our long-extinct civilization, I hope they don’t find the Stanley Cup. I’d hate for us to be remembered by the unfortunate etchings on that ancient punch bowl. Not to mention the germs.

THE WALL STREET JOURNAL has a story today about how Lord Stanley’s Cup is rife with typos, including a reference to the New York “Ilanders” and enough other misspellings and wacky etching mistakes to shock a second grader. Oh, the shame. Read more…

Pro hockey is hard. Really, really hard. Even if nobody hits you, the sheer level of fitness and endurance needed to skate (and skate well) for that long is beyond the reach of most people. And then there’s the hitting. Oh god, the hitting. Try getting knocked onto a sheet of ice by someone coming at you at about 20 miles per hour, then see if you ever want to do that again. You’d probably say no.

(This is actually what Martin Brodeur looks like. Maybe.)

So with the intense physical demands of the sport comes equally intense pain afterward, and it’s well-known that one of the main benefits of steroids and HGH is the increased recuperative ability of the body; you get better faster. But there are also sufficient drawbacks (see Alzado, Lyle) that they’re illegal and strictly monitored by every major sport. Except if it’s the playoffs, in which case the NHL just says, “whatever!” The COLUMBUS DISPATCH has the incredible details: Read more…

• SHOW STALKER informs us that Kim Kardashian trusts Reggie Bush not to cheat on her, no matter what one questionable gossip website says.

•  PEREZ HILTON sizes up SbB’s Jose Canseco web exclusive yesterday.

• REAR NAKED NEWS kicks up word that for last weekend’s Elite XC CBS show - the one where Kimbo was Sliced up in 14 seconds - the MMA organization didn’t get a dime, as all revenue went to the TV network.

• Over on his YARDBARKER blog, Baron Davis tells us how much fun he’s having as a new member of the Clippers. Such a great attitude can help us all get through these tough post-Elgin Baylor times.

• SPORTS ILLUSTRATED tunes in to a ruling from the FCC that Comcast should allow the NFL Network to be carried on their basic cable tier.

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With seven Swedes on the champion Red Wings’ roster, it was inevitable that the Stanley Cup would be taking a trip to the Scandinavian country this summer. And the trophy’s tour started off with a blessed event - a baptism.

The CBC reports that Tomas Holmstrom was the first Swedish Wing to get to spend time with Lord Stanley’s silverware, and the forward decided to use his day with the Cup by helping out with a friend’s special occasion: Read more…

The NHL has the best championship tradition in sports. Each player, coach, and other members of the championship winning team are allowed to divide 100 days with the Stanley Cup.

Lord Stanley’s Cup is usually passed around for members to share with their family and friends, but there have been a good number of adventures. The Cup once went for a swim at the bottom of Mario Lemieux’s pool, and served as a flower pot in an old lady’s house.

Kris Draper of the Detroit Red Wings is having his time with the Stanley Cup, and let’s hope he keeps it away from his newborn daughter Kamryn. Her first contact with the Cup ended in a diaperless disaster. Read more…

In his 24 years in the NHL, Red Wings defenseman Chris Chelios (not pictured) has won the Stanley Cup three times.

At this point, you’d think he’d know how to carry it. Read more…

Greg Wyshynski of PUCK DADDY found the time in his busy Stanley Cup Finals and ritual bikini wax schedule to pass along an NHL.com interview with Kristen Bell, who has been one of those hideous female NHL fans all her life. (Well, an NHL fan, anyway; we don’t know about any operations she’s had in Europe. We don’t pry.)

In the interview, she professes a desire to take a sponge bath with the Stanley Cup (just like John Candy did, we assume), so you know it’s quality journalism already. We suppose we should find that the most intriguing part, but her childhood crush on Chris Osgood has freaked us out a bit. That’s Chris Osgood next to her in that picture. Barry Melrose thinks that haircut blows.

Read more…