Most casual observers remember Justin Gimelstob as a fairly ordinary ATP tour member and currently know him as a contributor to SPORTS ILLUSTRATED’S web site, writing his “Gimel Takes All” column. Well, let’s just say the current member of the ATP’s board of directors doesn’t think too highly of some of the players on the women’s tour.

(Gimelstob definitely kisses the nets at Wimbledon with that mouth.)

The UK’s DAILY MAIL reveals that Gimelstob unleashed some rather coarse language towards several players in a radio interview, calling Tatiana Golovin and Alize Cornet “sexpots”, but reserving his maximum vitriol towards Anna Kournikova, using the famed B-word. He also served up some more choice bon mots towards the Russian, whom he trained with as a junior.

Some digging by yours truly revealed the interview was in Washington, D.C., with WJFK-FM’s Junkies on June 18th, which has been archived for posterity, thankfully.

Host: “[Kournikova] already knows she’s playing you on the 23rd?”
Gimelstob: “Probably. She might not even be smart enough to read the schedule.”
Read more…

Dubya dribbles with some Irish kids. We need a Guinness after viewing that.

• Tiger Woods’ win in San Diego is Wall Street’s loss in productivity.

• Speaking of the ex-Eldrick, Sports Illustrated needs help with next week’s cover.

• Doug Christie’s better half is blackballing him from the NBA.

• ESPN wants to keep an eye on you - a big, bloodshot eye.

• Meanwhile, the Worldwide Leader should keep an eye on Jemele Hill’s Hitler-Celtics comments.

Read more…

After Sunday’s amazing comeback & Monday’s sudden death thriller all on a bad knee, what more can be said about Tiger Woods’ U.S. Open victory?

It appears that SPORTS ILLUSTRATED is having that same problem. And they need your help!

Undoubtedly, the magazine’s next cover story will be Tiger’s wild win over Rocco Mediate at Torrey Pines. But the world’s #1 golfer has graced their covers so many times, it’s not easy for the overworked, underloved editors to keep coming up with such amazing mastheads.

So, Dan Patrick is enlisting all his loyal listeners and rambunctious readers to give SI some headline cover ideas for next week’s issue.

Some suggestions submitted so far: Read more…

We’re both awed by and a little concerned for YOUR FACE IS A SPORTS BLOG after hearing that they spend their time researching SPORTS ILLUSTRATED swimsuit issues for fun and profit. (That’s one way to use the new SI archives, we suppose.) After reading what they discovered, though, we must speak for them as Real American Heroes.

Apparently, nearly all the sports couples that have appeared in SPORTS ILLUSTRATED swimsuit issues have been felled by awful circumstances. Better yet, nearly all of those circumstances could have been avoided if the athlete and/or spouse did not have their heads betwixt the cheeks of their posterior at all times. Read more…

We’re back in L.A. this week. Yes, we’re excited to be home, but our spirits were further raised during our first, senseless, late night trip to 7-Eleven. The store featured a giant, shiny cardboard display of a topless Marisa Miller on the cover of SPORTS ILLUSTRATED - right next to the door as you walk out (with hands firmly in pockets).

(Looks like a transfer to Wichita State may be in order)

And while we were in line waiting to pay for our Slurpee™, we were treated to Tommy Lasorda, in an ad over the PA, telling us to where he gets his transmission serviced (no, not Jumbo’s Clown Room - Aamco).

Speaking of SI.com, so about the photo. Read more…

PACKERS NEWS reports that SPORTS ILLUSTRATED will soon be sending out a special issue of their magazine entirely dedicated to Brett Favre.

Copies of the tribute to the just-retired QB are expected to hit newsstands Monday or Tuesday. And we bet SI editors are expecting record-breaking sales in northeast Wisconsin - since the area has been such a Green & Gold mine before. Read more…

Via VOL NATION, WBIR-TV in Knoxville checks out the latest issue of SI, and discovers Dan Patrick and Bruce Pearl engaged in a little one-on-one. (An interview, that is, not a pick-up b-ball game - although seeing those two face off on the court would be highly entertaining.)

Anyway, Patrick volleys some questions at the Volunteers coach, from his oh-so-brief time at #1, to sneaking in a halftime hug with Erin Andrews:

Read more…

• ON 205th tells us that the American Gladiators winner used to be a dancer for the Blazers. They also tell us Monica Carlson’s measurements, for good measure.

•