Serena Now Suffering From A (Very) Heavy Heart

If it’s full-on winter, it’s cold and rainy in L.A., people are throwing logs on the fire in Chicago, there’s a hint of ash in the air in Manhattan, and Serena Williams is busying herself with lining up excuses for tanking at the Australian Open.

Serena Williams

(Steel enclosure we’ll say!)

Not able to lament any current injuries (which is downright shocking), she instead has revealed on her website that she’s suffering from a broken heart - after getting dumped by a guy: “You cringe at these words. This is the very reason you begin to think why your heart was in that steel enclosure … because one day it always turns into this day. Tears finally come and they make you feel a little better, but the pain is piercing through your soul. Eventually you know you will try again, and eventually you know you will find the keys to your heart, but also in the back of your mind your think … it will happen again.

Now the question is, who dumped her? (work with us, today’s gotten slow)

Read more…

O.J. Simpson’s Bail Revoked, Must Return To Jail

Adam Housley of Fox News reports this afternoon that “OJ Simpson’s bail is revoked. He will be back to jail from Florida. He’s flying back today from Miami to Los Angeles and arriving early evening. He’s been taken into custody by Miguel Pereira, bail bondsman of You Ring We Spring Bail Bonds.

O.J. Simpson

More: “I got the tip late yesterday and have been holding it, making sure the bail bondsman made it to Miami and that he would actually be taken-in without an incident. Throughout last night and into today, we have kept this extremely quiet, with only a couple of people internally knowing this might go down. We can’t afford to let any information slip.”

There’s no further info from the report - so we don’t know what Simpson did to violate bail (not tipping his caddy?).

More importantly, how soon before Mr. “You Ring We Spring Bail Bonds” Pereira gets a reality show on Bravo?

Getting Jessica Simpson Thing Out Of The Way

We know most of you don’t really care whether Jessica Simpson will attend the Cowboys’ playoff game this Sunday against NYG in Dallas. That is, unless she were to wear a low-cut top or Daisy Dukes.

Jessica Simpson Daisy Dukes

But we feel it our duty to report, via US MAGAZINE, that Ms. Tony Romo will not be attending the game.

Her “rep” said, She is not attending. She is working on a new album.

Joe Simpson Beer Helmet

Sadly, there’s no word though on if Joe Simpson plans to attend Sunday’s affair. Perhaps his attendance is predicated on locating a Cowboys’ beer helmet before kickoff.

Thankfully, Jason Giambi Still Has Juice In Vegas

PAGE SIX’s spiffy new(?) website shows off photos today of Jason Giambi’s birthday party at the Las Vegas club Body English.

Jason Giambi

Rappers Chuck D, Flava Flav and Run’s former other half, DMC, were all in attendance. The trio, in town for the ginormous Consumer Electronics Show, also performed together for the first time on stage.

But taking the cake was the … uh … Giambi’s birthday cake, which featured a naked torso of a woman. You might be wondering who the woman is in the photo with Giambi. No, it isn’t his pharmacist. Read more…

Snowboard Champ Sells Out Lohan For $120-Large

The CHICAGO SUN-TIMES reports on the breakup of Lindsay Lohan and someone named Riley Giles, who is apparently a “snowboarding champ”. (Snowboarder, yes. Champ of any import? no.)

Lindsay Lohan Riley Giles

The pair met in rehab (of course) last fall and during the relationship “refused to sign a “no-kiss-’n'-tell agreement” while dating the actress he met in rehab at the Cirque Lodge in Utah in early fall.”

Read more…

National Enquirer: Brady, Bundchen Engagement?

The NATIONAL ENQUIRER print edition, via the Brady Bundchen addicts at the BOSTON HERALD, is reporting this week that “No. 12 has made a new years promise to his Brazilian boo: If I win another Super Bowl ring, then you get a wedding ring! Sources close to (Tom) Brady say don’t believe a word of it. Tom isn’t ready to head down the altar just yet. Phew.”

Tom Brady Gisele Bundchen

While sources intercepted the Enquirer’s assertion, and the Herald blew it off, might that be a little wishful thinking? We take what the Enquirer reports every bit as seriously as anything else in the MSM. And we also know that legions of fans have no interest in sharing Brady with his emaciated playmate.

Bush Not Burning To Marry Kardashian, After All

EONLINE (via HHR) reports today that that OK! Magazine’s claim that Reggie Bush and Kim Kardashian are engaged is, sadly, bunk. Excerpt: “Kim’s rep has gone on record: It’s not true.

Reggie Bush Kim Kardashian

That’s all we get from the E! post. In fact, we don’t even know who “Kim’s rep” actually is. But it’s nice to know that, like seemingly every other breathing, bipedal organism in the 310, he/she has her back.

You Really Don’t Want To Foul Barack Obama

You probably know by now that Barack Obama played a little hoop in high school (make that very little, he was benchwarmer for his school’s team in Hawaii). So S.L. Price of SPORTS ILLUSTRATED recently challenged Obama to a game of one-on-one.

Barack Obama Playing Basketball

The account, much like the presidential race, isn’t exactly enthralling, but Obama, who sported a nike-logoed shirt (is there anyone they haven’t signed?), did have one interesting thing to say.

Upon being hacked by Price, Obama said, “Believe me … you can get shot for doing that.” He was joking. We think.

Obama trying to play basketball is a bit of a stretch for us. We think the more authentic hoops article is pant-suited Hillary Clinton, who by her dress tells us should would’ve had quite a career coaching women’s college basketball:

Pat Summitt Hillary Clinton