Mets Don’t Like Dwight Writing on Their New Walls

• The Mets are mad at Dwight Gooden for holding an impromptu autograph session on their brand new Citi Field walls.

Dwight Gooden Mets

• Some pretty exciting playoff performances by the Bulls & Sixers so far. Too bad it’s all a formality until the Lakers-LeBron finals.

• It’s one thing for linemen to get the late-night munchies, but stealing $82 worth of hamburgers & Hot Pockets from other people’s fridges?

• Looks like the Cavs have found their new playoff anthem, thanks to Joe Smith … er, Joe Beast.

• Another great use for Twitter: Calling local sportswriters fat.

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Southern Miss Spring Game Gets Quite Raunchy

No doubt millions of people throughout the United States had spent their winter counting down the days to the Southern Mississippi spring game, and on Saturday the day they’d been waiting for finally arrived. Of course, the problem for all of those Golden Eagles fans in New York, California, and everywhere outside Mississippi was that they couldn’t watch the game on television.

Southern Miss girls

Which is why it was so nice of Rock 104 — the radio station that’s carried Golden Eagles games for the last ten years — to webcast the scrimmage live directly to your computer.  For the 50 people that tuned in to the webcast, the action on the field was pretty nice to see, but the action they heard the commentators describing was probably a lot more interesting.

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Ex-Party Animal Eustachy Gives Back $25K Bonus

Southern Mississippi gave Larry Eustachy a second chance after the former Iowa State coach’s career had gone belly up in 2003 after photos of him partying with students at Missouri came to light. At this point, I think it’s fair to say that his comeback has been a bust (and not a beer bust, either). After leading Cyclones to two NCAA tournament appearance in five seasons, he has yet to get the Golden Eagles to the post-season in his first four seasons, and at 14-14 it isn’t happening this year either.

Larry Eustachy

So THE NEW YORK TIMES says that Eustachy did the right thing: he gave back a $25,000 bonus he had earned through ticket sales and various incentives. Granted, he kept his $380,000 base salary, and this might be seen as a cheap way to generate some goodwill and avoid being fired, but still: that’s about 3,000 12-packs of Natural Light we’re talking about (plus enough left over to keep the Omega Chi fire pit going all semester).

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Jason Elam Saving America From Terrorists Again

Jason Elam kicks up yet another thrilling pro football player-turned-special ops agent fighting terrorists and saving America novelization.

Jason Elam Falcons

It’s already sold 43 copies!

• The Boston Celtics reach 18 in a row. They must be pretty good.

• WWJD? He wouldn’t tap out, that’s for sure! And now you can wear the shirt that proves it. Buy it, or go to hell!

• A jerk at Gillette did what none of the Cardinals could do on Sunday - bring down a Patriot player.

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Unfortunate Video: So. Miss Receiver’s Leg Snaps

Is it me, or have there been an unusually inordinate number of gruesome leg-breaking incidents in football this season? Is it this new-fangled field turf? And, in the latest incident, Southern Miss’ DeAndre Brown was simply running a pattern by himself downfield when his leg decided it wanted to snap like a pretzel stick.

Deandre Brown

The organizers of the R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl are pretty happy with all this, though, as it’s probably the only time anyone’s taken any time out of their day to talk about the game (which Southern Miss won over Troy, 30-27 in overtime).

Video, regrettably, after the jump.

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Colorado State and Washington State Lose Football Coaches

COLO ST, WASH ST, SOUTHERN MISS COACHES KICKED OUT: The college coaching carousel turns yet again, as Sonny Lubick is out at Colorado State:

Sonny Lubick

The DENVER POST reports that Lubick was asked to resign from his post after 15 years at the Fort Collins school. However, CSU has been offered their now ex-coach a position as “goodwill ambassador for Rams athletics”, in order to stay employed with the college.Meanwhile, the SEATTLE POST-INTELLIGENCER reports that Bill Doba has resigned after a five-year stint as Washington State’s head coach.

Bill Doba

Doba finishes his performance on the Palouse with a 30-29 record, with his only winning season coming in his first year in 2003.And the HATTIESBURG AMERICAN reports that Jeff Bower has ended his 17-year coaching career with Southern Miss.

Jeff Bower

Bower announced his final game on the Golden Eagles sideline would be in the Bowl on Dec. 22 in Birmingham. Ironically, Bower’s first game as USM coach was at Legion Field for the 1990 All-American Bowl.Updating the job listings, here’s the 1-A programs still on the lookout for new leadership:

• Michigan
• Nebraska
• Arkansas
• Baylor
• Duke
• Georgia Tech
• Northern Illinois
• Colorado State
• Washington State
• Southern Miss

Off the board: Mississippi, who just nabbed a Nutt.