Portis: Miami Pro Bowl Means DUIs, Suspensions

We mentioned a few weeks ago that the Pro Bowl was going to be moving from Hawaii to the mainland starting next year, with the 2010 game being played in Miami. At the time, we speculated that the players would be thrilled with moving the game to Miami as part of the expected rotation of sites for a variety of reasons, including the South Beach nightlife, easier travel and better facilities.

Clinton Portis wig

(This guy is the voice of reason. Seriously.)

But the factor we didn’t consider was that having the game in Hawaii protects the players from their own worst enemy: themselves. At least that’s the opinion of Redskins Pro Bowler Clinton Portis, who told the ASSOCIATED PRESS that moving the game to Miami is apparently a recipe for disaster:

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Anna Kournikova Kind Of Competing In Triathlon

Not satisfied that she has sullied the sports world or fueled the imaginations of males aged 13-85 enough, Anna Kournikova today is a triathlete. Sort of.

Anna Kournikova

Well, maybe she’s not quite entirely a triathlete. This if for charity, so I’ll go easy, but it sounds like she only did the running part (four miles). At least that’s what I glean from the plans laid out on KOURNIKOVA.COM, your one-stop news source: Read more…

Michael Vick Buys Luxury Condo In South Beach

WE’RE ASSUMING THEY HAVE A REASONABLE PET DEPOSIT: The NEW YORK POST’s PAGE SIX reports today that despite his financial woes, Michael Vick has somehow raised the cash to buy “a pricey pad in the luxurious Philippe Starck high-rise Icon South Beach.

Michael Vick drinking wine

Dwyane Wade also lives in the building, and Shaq apparently has a girlfriend stashed who lives there.Source “[Vick] has bought [an] apartment. Since his indictment he hasn’t visited, but his brother Marcus, who was released by the Miami Dolphins and has charges of statutory rape pending, has no problem partying it up with the ladies in his brother’s pad.

A woman has a suit pending against Vick’s younger brother Marcus, alleging they had a two-year affair starting when she was 15.

Isn’t it astonishing how Michael and Marcus just can’t seem to steer clear of bitches in heat?