Soccer Player Chokes Fan, Fan Holds On To Butt

Just because you’re being attacked in the stands by a berserk athlete is no reason to drop your cigarette. Just another day in British soccer, as Lee Whetter, the captain for St. Austell F.C., attacks a Newquay fan during a recent South West Peninsula League game in Cornwall.

The fan, Mark Charles, 48, was put in a headlock and pummeled by Whetter, but through it all did not drop his precious smoke. Impressive. Even more glorious is a woman who tries to intervene — while carrying a baby. A gigantic brawl ensued from there, and the DAILY MAIL got some pretty great photos.

Malice in the Palace, soccer edition, following the jump. Read more…

Speed Read: Wait - WSU Cougar RB Almost Died?

It’s not often that injury news takes us completely aback, but that’s absolutely the case over in Pullman tonight. One slightly mentioned aspect of last weekend’s game pitting Washington State against Southern Methodist was WSU’s tailback, James Montgomery, suffering an apparent knee injury. Not that those aren’t serious, but, y’know… they happen.

James Montgomery WSU

But one thing that doesn’t usually happen is a potentially fatal injury that nobody recognizes immediately. That’s what apparently befell Montgomery during the game; after the game, he reported increasing discomfort with the knee, and went in for surgery on Sunday morning. It probably saved his life.

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NFL TD Celebrations Ain’t Got Nuthin’ On Soccer

Not to pile on the nation’s supply of decrepit old, white, obsolete sports columnists, but it’s been at turns annoying and amusing to read them get all bent out of shape whenever an athlete acts anything other than perfectly demure and respectful of everyone. The NFL has responded to such suburban outrage by basically banning all forms of personal expressions, from touchdown celebrations to social media usage.

But other countries? Yeah, other countries don’t have hundreds of years of insane Puritan morality to deal with. In fact, over in staid ol’ Europe, their sports stars still know how to celebrate. With blow, you ask? Yes, with blow. But that’s not all.

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Texas Woman Beats Disabled Kid For Soccer Ball

Americans might not all be fans of the game of soccer, but there’s no denying the sheer breathtaking violence and passion of the sport’s more extreme fans. Soccer hooliganism is something we’ve (thankfully) never really duplicated here in the States. Sure, a college town couch might go up in flames from time to time or a bar argument between opposing fans might come to blows, but by and large American fans keep sports in perspective.

Soccer Hooligans

However, one brave/stupid woman is aiming to change all that by bringing a little hooliganism to the heart of God-fearing, football-loving Texas. Her first mission? Punching a wheelchair-bound child in the head over a stray soccer ball. Mission accomplished.

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93,136 Pack Rose Bowl For Galaxy-Barca Match

One of the greatest misconceptions about sports in this country is that Americans don’t like soccer. Vocal contrarian sportswriters love to perpetuate that misconception from their columns, and xenophobic Americans follow suit, ever skeptical of things “not from around here.” Admittedly, it’s not always easy to follow the sport’s top leagues from halfway around the world, but if there’s one thing Americans have proved time and time again, it’s that they do in fact enjoy the beautiful game…when it’s being played well.

David Beckham Thierry Henry

That’s why minor leagues in any sport always struggle to survive, and why many fans are lukewarm about the game in this country. Too often, Americans who want to watch soccer are forced to watch third-rate athletes compete in fourth-rate stadia. Last night, though, 93,137 fans packed the Rose Bowl and proved once again that they will flock to the game when it’s played at the highest levels as Barcelona FC beat the LA Galaxy 2-1.

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Joey Barton Might Be Coming Back To Premiership

If the name Joey Barton doesn’t ring a bell, that’s okay. Not everyone’s a soccer fan. Here’s a good, quick primer: he’s like the Ty Cobb of soccer, except nowhere near as good as Ty Cobb.

Joey Barton High Tackle
(C’mon, ref, no dismemberment, no foul!)

So despite a career that included a six-month prison stay after assaulting a random guy outside a McDonald’s, a four-month suspended sentence for beating up teammate Ousmane Dabo, for some reason, Bolton (the soccer club, not this guy) is thinking of bringing him back to the Premiership. For a good idea of how dirty a player Barton is, that tackle shown above is in the video after the jump. Read more…

A New Low: Soccer Stud Picks Serbia, Not U.S.

There’s been a lot of debate across the globe about soccer stars defecting from the nation of birth to play for other teams, a plague that’s been particularly prominent among Brazilian players, many of whom now suit up for European powers (Marcos Sena with Spain or Deco and Nani with Portugal). But while the trend had spread far and wide across Europe, it had yet to really have an impact in North America. Well, consider those days officially over, after Chicago teenage stud and Borrusia Dortmund (Germany) defender Neven Subotic officially pledged his international allegiance to Serbia, not the U.S.

neven subotic
(At least the U.S. won’t miss the cornrows. Those are hideous.)

The fact that Subotic chose to play for another nation instead of the U.S. is his own prerogative, and it isn’t even unprecedented. Giuseppe Rossi was born in New Jersey but opted to play for the country of his parents’ birth — defending World Cup champion Italy — rather the the nation he was raised in.

Still, there’s a big difference between Rossi and Subotic. Rossi chose to spurn the U.S. to play with the defending world champions. It’s hard to turn down that opportunity, particularly when you’ve been playing in the Italian professional league and you’re going to be given a real shot at eventually playing on the senior national team. Subotic dumped the U.S. for Serbia.

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Manchester Fans Fly To Paris For A Home Game

Manchester City just can’t stay out of the news today. When they found out their team would be paired up against Paris Saint-Germain in the UEFA Cup, Man City fans rushed out and booked their flights to and hotel rooms in Paris. One problem. The match will be played in Manchester. Whoops.

Manchester City

Call it a case of premature evacuation.

Man City, which you’ll recall is the team from Manchester that nobody cares about, was placed in a group with the Paris-based PSG in last week’s UEFA Cup Draw. Excited fans hurried to ensure they’d be there to cheer their team on, but may have gotten ahead of themselves. Now angry supporters are claiming that they spent hundreds of pounds on travel plans, because both teams had the match listed on their web sites as taking place in France. So unless they’re willing to pay the cancellation fees, a good number of City fans will be on holiday in Gay Paree while their team plays back at home.

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Beckham’s Scoring Range Is 70 Yards And In

It’s not every day you see a 70-yard scoring play that doesn’t involve Adrian Peterson, so we feel compelled to pass it along.

Beckham Fathead

This one involves the L.A. Galaxy’s David Beckham and a poorly-timed effort by the opposing goaltender. No Laker girls were harmed in this performance. Read more…

Chelsea Coach ‘Sacked’ For Coming In Second

Here in America, we fire coaches, sometimes for legitimate resasons (see: Cam Cameron) and sometimes for reasons that seem totally unfounded (see: Ty Willingham).

chelsea champions league

That doesn’t happen across the pond. There, they call it getting ’sacked,’ but their logic for doing so can be just as ludicrous as ours. Read more…