When it rains, it pours for the University of Michigan. Coming off arguably the worst season in the team’s entire 129-year history - or worst season since 1934, depending on who you talk to - the Wolverines no doubt just want to put this year behind them and focus on the future. Unfortunately, that future just got a whole lot less exciting with news that highly-touted recruit Shavodrick Beaver will be playing elsewhere. Congratulations, Tulsa! You just won the Beaver Joke Sweepstakes!
Beaver planned on matriculating in Ann Arbor come January, but changed his mind (as Beaver is known to do) after thinking twice about the two-quarterback system Rich Rodriguez was planning. You see, Beaver needs to feel special. Beaver needs to feel appreciated. Beaver needs to be softly caressed, gently wooed and treated tenderly like the unique delicate flower he is.