World Doesn’t Weep For Out-Of-Work Pro Gamers

Just three years removed from being named league MVP, this former superstar is now stocking shelves at Sam’s Club. No, it’s not Shaun Alexander. He’s at BJ’s Wholesale.

Gamer

Emmanuel Rodriguez was a star playing Dead or Alive 4 in the Championship Gaming Series, and made a full-time job of it, complete with salary and endorsement deals. But to no one’s surprise, one of the casualties of the economy has been professional video gaming, the sport no one needed or wanted.

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Alexander to DC, Zorn To Deny He Ever Said That

You might remember Shaun Alexander from when you drafted him in the first round two years ago and he single-handedly proceeded to torpedo thousands of fantasy teams around the world. Or perhaps you remember him from last year, when you took him in the second round and hoped for a bounce-back season, and he screwed you again through a combination of injury and general suckitude. Well, get ready for him to steal goal-line carries from Clinton Portis, thereby enraging fantasy owners for an unprecedented third year in a row.

Shaun Alexander on Jeopardy

Reports out of DC have Alexander meeting with the Redskins today, with an expected offer forthcoming. [UPDATE: it’s a done deal.] The Skins need a backup back after Ladell Betts went down with a sprained knee Sunday, and Alexander has been itching to get back in the league after being released by the Seahawks in April. He’ll reunite with Jim Zorn, who clearly wasn’t anticipating this when he threw Alexander under the bus in February: (Throw your copy of Madden 07 against the wall and come back for the damning quote after the jump.)

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Madden Doesn’t Discriminate Based On Ethnicity

I’m sure Tony Kornheiser will have some xenophobic comments* about the fact that EA Sports markets the MADDEN video game franchise to Spanish-speakers, but CNBC.COM’s Darren Rovell points out that the curse transcends language.

Madden in Spanish

For the three people reading this who don’t play MADDEN, the curse goes back to 1999, when the folks at ELECTRONIC ARTS decided to replace John Madden’s mug on the cover with that of an NFL player deserving of the honor. The results? Well, Michael Vick and Shaun Alexander would like to have a word. And I suppose we can add Robert Garza’s name to the list.

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Blogz: Alexander’s Faith At Fault For No NFL Gig?

• 100% INJURY RATE wonders what the holy hell is up with a columnist who believes Shaun Alexander can’t get a job because he’s too Christian.

Shaun Alexander Jesus thumbs up

Kevin Seifert of ESPN discovers the Vikings’ Kenechi Udeze is getting some brotherly help in his fight against leukemia.

Minda of the LADIES… takes us on a Royal three-day adventure around Kauffman Stadium. Sadly, she didn’t partake in any KC BBQ during her trip. For shame!

Eddie Sefko of the DALLAS MORNING NEWS calls in word that Shaq’s anti-Kobe rap is now available as a cell phone ring tone.

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Dear Mr. Alexander: Yes, This Really IS Goodbye

In a quick turn of events, Seahawk fans will now be forced to find something new to complain about. Current whipping boy, Shaun Alexander, was released today.

shaun alexander and wife

(I can still keep my wife, right?)

That’s right, just 2 years after winning league MVP and leading Seattle to the Super Bowl, Alexander finds himself looking for a job. Bones made of peanut brittle seem to have that effect. Read more…

Bengals Scalp Redskins’ Offer For Chad Johnson

If Chad Johnson doesn’t want to play for Cincinnati, then the Bengals are making sure he won’t play for anyone else.

Chad Johnson Bengals

ESPN’s Chris Mortensen reports that the team turned down a trade offer from the Washington Redskins for the disgruntled receiver. In exchange for Johnson, the ‘Skins were willing to give Cincy their first-round pick for this year’s draft and a potential first-round selection in next year’s draft.

But coach Marvin Lewis maintained that the Bengals were not going to bid adios to Ocho Cinco anytime soon:

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Jim Zorn Just Sank Shaun Alexander’s Battleship

Mike Sando of ESPN.com’s HASHMARKS plucks this comment from a Redskins.com interview with new Washington coach Jim Zorn:

“To watch Clinton Portis and the strain for the extra yard, it can fire you right up. I think he has excellent vision and he seems to be disciplined moving in the hole. He is probably the idea of an every-down back. We did not do that in Seattle. We did not have that every-down back in Seattle. We had to piece and put and kind of makeshift situations with plays. Clinton Portis is the kind of guy that you can have in and pass protect, can have in and run the ball.”

Jamie Mottram

Former Seattle assistant Zorn scores a direct hit there on Shaun Alexander. This is clear evidence that Zorn is cutting his coach-speak classes, which is great news for The District media. Now they don’t have to wait for Marion Berry to once again fire up a pipe to have something fun to report on.