Jefferson Ended Wedding By Emailing Bride-To-Be

*Brooks will be at Dodger Stadium tonight Tweeting about Manny Ramirez’s triumphant return to Chavez Ravine.

Richard Jefferson tries to explain what really happened with his averted trip to the altar. It involves ending his relationship via email - along with sending a six-figure settlement to the jilted bride.

Richard Jefferson Kesha Nichols

• NASCAR racer Jeremy Mayfield tests positive for meth. What, again?!?!

• The jokes at the ESPYs were so bad, producers were begging the audience to laugh & applaud - so they could edit it into the show later.

• But the real comedy highlight of the evening was a drunken Matt Kemp trying to break his fall by pulling down the top of his date’s dress.

• A youth soccer official is under investigation for embezzling over $100,000 from her local organization.

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Youth Soccer, On The Scale Of Theft Awfulness

Rather jarring news from the world of children in Umbro shorts today, as La Quinta AYSO (American Youth Soccer Organiziation) regional commissioner Sharon Schumaier was named in a felony embezzlement investigation over a sizable chunk of missing money, according to the PALM SPRINGS (CA) DESERT SUN.

Like, over $100,000.

Sharon Schumaier
(Leading contender for Mother of the Year)

As UNPROFESSIONAL FOUL notes, she’s been convicted of a similar crime before, so her claim that she’s resigning because it’s “too much work” should be taken with at least some skepticism. But it got us to thinking, where does this rank on the scale of the most reprehensible places to steal money from? It’s children, after all, but have you ever met a soccer mom who wasn’t a total assbag once she got behind the wheel of her Mercury Mountaineer?

So, let’s place it on our sliding scale of theft awfulness, below:

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