7:32 PM I'm sure Michigan football fans will be more than happy to spend an additional $83,000 to maintain their seat location at Michigan Stadium. With RichRod piloting the ship and the state of the economy, all is well.
Two weeks ago an urban gossip blog reported that the fiancee and baby momma of Gilbert Arenas, Laura Govan, was having a sexual relationship with Shaquille O’Neal. The blog even went so far to publish alleged email correspondence between the two.
The day after the blog report, O’Neal’s wife Shaunie, who is a friend of Govan’s, filed for divorce from Shaq. The Wizards and Cavaliers met last Wednesday in Washington, so there was plenty anticipation of a confrontation between O’Neal and Arenas, but Shaq contracted a “mysterious” shoulder ailment before the game and was a no-show.
Arenas hasn’t addressed the rumors about his fiancee’s infidelity with O’Neal, but he did mention Shaq prominently in a recent video he posted on Twitter. A strange, somewhat ominous message directed at O’Neal. Read more…
All across America gigantic underpants are flying at half-staff today as it is learned that Shaunie O’Neal has filed for separation from her large, Cleveland Cavaliers-playing husband. This just a day after it was alleged by one web site that Shaq was canoodling with Gilbert Arenas‘ fiance, Laura Govan.
The site YOUNG, BLACK AND FABULOUS, which needless to say I have bookmarked, has some quite graphic emails purportedly sent back and forth between Shaq and Govan. And the papers that Shaunie O’Neal filed on Monday are just as graphic, with terms such as “community assets” and “separate property.” Anyway, Shaq’s back on the market, ladies. Form and orderly queue. Read more…
Sorry if this ruins your holidays, but it seems as if Shaquille O’Neal has been cheating on his wife instead of practicing his free throws as he should be doing. At least this is according to the site YOUNG, BLACK AND FABULOUS; the first place I check for all of my NBA news. Who is Shaq trysting with? Laura Govan, who also happens to be Gilbert Arenas‘ fiance and the mother of his two children.
(The Gilbert Arenas, Laura Govan, Shaquille O’Neal love triangle offense)
YBF claims to have sources who confirm the O’Neal-Govan shenanigans — Shaqnanigans? — and the site has something even more salacious, it says: Emails between the two lovebirds. Here’s one now!
The longer this whole recession thing sticks around, the more it’s going to affect our delicious, precious sports. Teams are already wringing their hands about slow ticket sales and sponsorship problems. Surprisingly (SARCASM), the inflated ticket prices and payrolls that skyrocketed over the past 10-15 years might not be sustainable over the long haul.
(No need to hurry, really.)
One team in particular, the New Jersey Nets, is having a wee bit o’ trouble putting butts in the seats at inflated prices in a crappy arena to see a terrible basketball team. But they’ve…got….a…plan: Jersey giveaways! No big deal, even if you can’t name a single stiff on the team these days (other than Devin Harris), because they’re possibly the first team ever to give away opposing team’s jerseys.
It’s been no surprise to any fan of the NBA (especially the televised version) that Dwight Howard is a popular person to put in front of a camera. Hey, why not? He’s a physical freak of nature with a flair for the dramatic, and acting goofy is a lot easier than learning post moves.
(Dwight, I know a place where you can take advantage of better special effects than that.)
But as you can imagine, Orlando ought to be very worried that Howard has evidently figured out that part about acting and playing basketball. And while there’s plenty of places in America to shoot a movie, the best place is right in the backyard of that team that just erased them in the Finals.
If the 1980s taught us anything, it’s that all is fair in love & war, and business = war. Shaquille O’Neal must have been paying attention when he was growing up. Did you watch the first episode of the new reality show “Shaq Vs.,” in which O’Neal is pitted against different sports celebrities in their own games? At least one person — Steve Nash — thought that show looked very familiar.
That’s because it was Nash’s idea, and Shaq stole it.
If you watched the credits following Tuesday’s debut episode (and I pity you if you’re that deathly bored), you may have noticed that Nash is listed as an executive producer. That’s what you get — plus a bundle of cash, I presume — when you mention your idea for a new reality show to a friend, and that friend “borrows” the idea and makes his own show. Come on, Shaq!
And so the NBA Twitter Revolution takes another strange, unexpected turn: Tweeting live, during your own arrest. The New York Knicks’ Nate Robinson is the unlucky pioneer here, as his Twitter followers got a blow-by-blow account of him getting pulled over by police in Brooklyn on Tuesday afternoon, and then getting hauled down to the local precinct for driving on a suspended license.
In Twitter posts that have been subsequently deleted by Robinson (but salvaged by the NEW YORK POST), our protagonist at first seems to laugh off the incident as he sits in his car (with passenger Terence Williams of the Nets), presumably waiting for the officer to run his information. But then things get a little more serious. From THE POST:
Robinson, 25, soon announced via a Twitter posting that, “Cops pulled me over cuz my windows were 2 dark (but my windows were down) lol how funny is that.”
Williams posted his own tweet: “being pulled over is so funnnnny now I got to go get him mannnnnnnnn”
Robinson followed up with another Twitter posting: “Iam still pulled over and its been 35 min they have me sit in my truck like I dnt have s#*+2 do lol.”
At 6 p.m., Robinson was arrested and charged with unlicensed operator of a motor vehicle, and taken into custody by cops. He currently is being booked at the 52nd Precinct.
Robinson’s Twitter postings soon after were taken down. Williams also deleted his posts.
If you go to Robinson’s Twitter page now, you can pick up the dialogue as he enters the apology phase. I’m assuming he Tweeted these when he got home that night, and not from a holding cell.
“To All My Tweeps: I was irresponsible earlier when I tweeted about being pulled over.”
“I apologize to the Knicks, my family and fans.”
“I also want to thank the NYPD especially the arresting officer. He was fair and helped process me quickly.”
“the media is try n 2kill my name and my image, but its cool only GOD can judge me now, they are make n it seem iam a head case not cool”
God’s going to judge you for a suspended license? That must be from the Old Testament …
Anyway, here on Earth, I’m not sure what’s the bigger imperative for the Knicks; taking away Robinson’s iPhone, or his car (his license has been suspended four times since June, 2008). It’s not very wise to flake on paying your tickets, but it’s even crazier to Tweet your own arrest, especially when you’re a restricted free agent trying to negotiate a new contract.
One of the first things that many high schools did when cell phones became ubiquitous with students was to ban them during school hours. And since professional sports is like high school with money, and athletes are getting themselves and their teams into trouble all the time with technology, it’s inevitable that contracts will soon begin including clauses such as “May not use Twitter while a member of this organization.” It wouldn’t be as hard to enforce as you’d think: One intern with a laptop and no social life could keep tabs on an entire team. The Truth Is Out There.
But what about the contention by Robinson that the media was trying to “kill” his name? Dude, you posted that only four hours after you were arrested. Quick work if it’s true.
Meanwhile, as Robinson lay snug in his bed after washing the booking ink off of his fingertips, Chad Ochocinco was still up, Tweeting into the wee hours of this morning. Mostly he was venting over a KENTUCKYPOST.COM article quoting Shaquille O’Neal as saying that he had better hands than him. Of course it was all a way for O’Neal to plug his new reality show, “Shaq Vs.,” which debuted Tuesday night (I didn’t watch it). But Ocho either didn’t know that, or was playing along with the joke.
Why in the hell didn’t yall tell me Shaq called me out Twitter family, he had the nerve to say his hands are better than mine!!! It’s on (about 3:30 a.m., EST)
I been sleep all day after I broke camp now I can’t sleep (about 3:33 a.m.)
WTF!!!! He called me Ochonachos, them is fighting words and that’s the challenge, must see tv=Black Mexican beats Giant man to a pulp!!!!! (about 3:33 a.m.)
@OGOchoCinco Ocho, make a play in a game that matters and then I will give you love on the radio all night long. Larry Fitzgerald is the NFL
@JTTheBrick who cares and who are you, nice to meet and hear your input but: Child Please!!
Hey Chad, aren’t you in the middle of preseason? Shouldn’t you be in bed?
In keeping with our Twitter theme, here’s Erika David, a rising pop star who Tweeted all her followers to be sure to watch the 7th inning of the Dodgers-Cardinals game on Tuesday night. That’s when she would be singing “God Bless America,” and … oh my Lord. That’s horrific.
The poor woman just had a bad day … it happens. Quit mocking her, James Loney! OK, at one point she forgets the lyrics and simply mumbles. And then the ending … my dog just fled the room. This performance is so bad, it’s good.
Now we switch you to Michael Bisping’s UFC blog, where the British middleweight announces that he won’t be fighting Wanderlei Silva in the main event of UFC 105 on November 14 in Manchester, England, as everyone expected. Silva, says Bisping, is due to undergo facial surgery. Can we skip the next year of transition and just go directly to way that all sports news will be reported in the future — via each individual athlete’s blog or Twitter account? Why deal with the bothersome middleman at all?
The ST. LOUIS POST-DISPATCH tells us that John Smoltz will sign with the Cardinals today at noon (CT), when and if he clears waivers. The Cardinals will insert Smoltz as their fifth starter, and only have to pay him a pro-rated share of the major-league minimum, about $100,000; with the Red Sox responsible for the balance of his $5.5 million contract.
Worst episode of “Cops” ever: Yet another MLB figure has been caught jaywalking; this time it was Cubs manager Lou Piniella, who was stopped by a policeman in San Diego’s Gaslamp District while crossing the street while chatting on his cell phone. The cop actually used his siren to get Lou’s attention, lectured him, and unlike Kenny Williams in Seattle, let him go with a warning. On Tuesday, Ryan Dempster was not so lucky.
Here’s a pretty humorous Michael Vick comic which HOLY TACO rolled out on Tuesday, an excerpt of which is shown above. But for my money, nothing beats the classic strip MARK TRAIL, which manages to be funny just about every day without meaning to. That’s because the artist, for some reason, insists on positioning the word balloons so that it appears the animals are talking. And, um, sometimes they’re talking from more than one orifice. (Witness below).
Before South Africa’s 800-meter gold medal favorite Caster Semenya can run in the semifinals of the World Athletics Championships in Berlin Thursday morning, IAAF officials must confirm her gender. Yep. Take a look at the link here and decide for yourself; guy or gal? The IAAF will go with your decision.
No, you only wish you could parallel park with the expert aplomb of this 5-year-old. Check out the video at this link: There’s about seventy dozen people at my local Safeway parking lot which I have to go slap in the face now. The adjustment at the end is the best part.
Meanwhile, in Washington D.C., the spelling capital of the world, Redskins running back Ladell Betts gets somewhat of a surprise when an equipment manager sheepishly approaches him during the first quarter of their preseason opener against the Ravens, and tells him he needs to take his jersey. “Actually, I do like Jerome Bettis, but I don’t prefer to have his name on my back,” Betts said. “I wasn’t upset or anything. I think the equipment people felt bad, but I wasn’t mad at them.“
Wait, 10 hits in one inning? The 2009 New York Mets? I find this hard to believe and must see further documentation.
We’re all happy to hear that David Wright says he’s feeling fine, and wants to return to the Mets’ lineup as soon as he is eligible to do so, on Sept. 1. Wright was hit in the batting helmet by a pitch from the Giants’ Matt Cain on Saturday, and the Mets are being cautious; not quite yet ready to give him the green light to play. Of course if Wright had been a fan of The Faith Tones like I am, he’d know that no pitch could ever penetrate those imposing hair helmets. I’m here with my record collection to help in any way that I can, MLB.
The Faith Tones, by the way, would have NAILED “God Bless America.”
We’re big fans of Shaq. Have been for years. It’s not just that he’s been one of the most dominant players in NBA history, of course. It’s all the other stuff - the police raids, the White House pop-ins, the Twitterness, the David Beckham “feud”. Just as recently as last week, you warmed our hearts with your Conan O’Brien dance contest. We’ll always love you and your wacky, attention-whoring ways.
But while we hope you succeed at beating everyone at everything in your new, narcissistic reality show ventures, we’ve found a new favorite NBA player to watch and be entertained by. No, not Ron Artest. And jeez, no, of course it’s not Starbury. No, we’re talking about Bulls rookie James Johnson, who has assumed the crown - for now - of the awesomest player in the NBA. Not only is he an actual multi-discipline athlete - an undefeated kickboxer/MMA fighter - he’s a dancing machine … who thankfully for us, showed off his breakdancing skills on YouTube.
