This Cedric Benson boating brouhaha keeps getting better & better.

• It’s no surprise that Danica Patrick would have men falling at her feet - but under her tires?

• Shaquille O’Neal is caught talking out of his ass again.

• Don’t tell anyone, but Ray Allen’s mom & step-dad are in the witness protection program.

• What’s in your wallet? One Florida Gator had a dead woman’s credit card in his.

• Tony Dungy takes time during a Tampa school visit to talk smack about the Pats.

Read more…

• 100% INJURY RATE scratches up some frightening photos of the Lakers’ Sasha Vujacic getting mauled by a California Cougar.

She was probably just enraptured by Sasha’s song.

• In honor of his recent Ron Burgundy episode, THE WORLD OF ISAAC looks back on Charles Barkley’s most memorable TNT moments.

• Michael David Smith of AOL FANHOUSE wonders if mainstream bloggers like MJD of YAHOO SPORTS should be held to the same blogosphere contempt as the mainstream media.

• BABES LOVE BASEBALL break out their Voodoo Sabermetrics again, this time to analyze bungling Barry Zito.

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DEADSPIN points us to a thrilling video of Shaquille O’Neal making his parents proud - via the Arizona State campus blog TheDirty.com (thank god he was traded to Phoenix!).

Wow. Who knew Shaq had so much in common with Steven Seagal? See what we’re talking about after the jump. Read more…

Finally, sirs and madams, the NBA playoffs are upon us. HUZZAH! It is with much anticipation, anxiety, and satisfaction that the first round of this most excellent tournament approaches.

As your friendly minstrel, it is both my duty and my pleasure to present to you the first 4 of the vaunted “40 games in 40 nights.” Follow the sounds of my sweet lute as we examine today’s games.

TO THE JUMP! Read more…

• ON NO SHE DIDN’T has the newest LeBron James photoshoot that will inanely cause unnecessary uproar - this time with Maria Sharapova.

• AOL FANHOUSE needs something for their hangover, as Baron Davis may have been benched on Sunday because of partyting the night before.

• AWFUL ANNOUNCING reports that ESPN has reached a settlement with ex-employee Harold Reynolds. Hugs all around!

• YOU BEEN BLINDED isn’t sure if Shaq is ready to dive into divorce, as they spot the Big Cactus back with Shaunie.

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Shaquille O’Neal is attempting a fresh start out in the Valley of the Suns, with a new team, new arena - and new girlfriend?

(Shaq & Shaunie in super happier times)

When Shaq sauntered away from South Beach, he not only left behind fond memories with the Heat, but also his soon-to-be ex-wife Shaunie. And now SPORTAPHILE (via the always reliable[?] MEDIA TAKE OUT) snags some snapshots of the Big Cactus and his supposed latest squeeze.

Is she a step above, a step below, a step sideways? Check the pics after to jump to judge for yourself.

Read more…