Who Wants To Sex Ovechkin… All Day? (w/ Video)

Alex Ovechkin is not a pretty man. He knows this, having the luxury of waking up every morning and seeing his busted set of teeth in the mirror every day.  He even told a Russian television station that he didn’t have a face for ads recently, according to PUCK DADDY.

Alex Ovechkin and one lucky lady
(Fortunately, a $124 million contract is real effing handsome.)

As the video of the interview reveals, though, Ovechkin evidently has no problem finding a willing partner for sexual congress. As a matter of fact, he rather prefers it as a pre-game ritual. And, um, post-game. God, his teammates must feel awkward.

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Ex-Teacher Shows HS Footballer Spread Offense

As everyone knows, playing high school football isn’t about love of the game, the glory of scoring a touchdown (even 3 in one game!), or the possibility of landing a lucrative multi-million dollar contract in the future. It’s about one thing, and one thing only: Getting the ladies. And for one lucky(?) 18-year-old in Azle, Texas, that goal has became a reality with his 38-year-old teacher. Bow-chicka-wow!

Julianna Christine Sauls

The cougar on the prowl, the above-pictured Julianna Christine Sauls, was a teacher at Azle Christian School a few weeks ago before she was dismissed for “alleged insufficient work performance.” Maybe she just couldn’t get her mind off a particular young high school football player, who she was pursuing “since September, including groping him in class and performing oral sex on him in the Azle High School parking lot.”

After she was canned, she took to waiting around outside of football practice - just like in the movies! - for the six-man Azle High School football team to finish up their scrimmages.

Wait, what?

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