Gay Sex Scandal And Beckham Hit Italian Soccer

Italian Serie A soccer matches are currently shown in the US on Fox Soccer Channel, but if certain rumors are true, perhaps they would be better suited for the gay-lifestyle cable network Logo. The DAILY MAIL reports that a gay sex scandal is brewing in Italian soccer as a lower-division player is claiming that he was a paid “rent boy,” performing sexual services for closeted star players.

Soccer playes in a compromising position

News of the allegations are causing shock waves throughout Italian soccer. But one would think this would be a welcome scandal, since it doesn’t involve rampant corruption and match-fixing. The scandal happens to be breaking as global superstar/gay icon David Beckham is set to join AC Milan. Draw your own conclusions to that.

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Man Awarded Money for Reading Mean Banners

Dear Chicago Cubs,

Enclosed, please find a bill for $70,400.  This will even the ledger for the thirty-plus years of “existential damages” left by your utter inability to seal the deal, leaving us exposed to cruel taunts from other sports fans.  Please deliver via cashier’s check since we don’t know how long your checks will be good now that Jay Mariotti isn’t around to keep the newspaper business propped up.

Crying Chicago Cubs fans

(”Oh… oh, God… ‘Cubs suck’? Hold me.”)

If you find this request someone ludicrous, please note that this sum has been taken directly from a recent court case won in Italy by a poor aggrieved soccer fan who had to read cruel taunting banners from Inter Milan fans against his fair town of Naples.  He has been awarded 1500 Euros for damages borne from signs calling his town the “sewer of Italy” and riffing on that theme.
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