Ultimate Warrior Goes Wacko On The Late Jacko

• The Ultimate Warrior is nice enough to add his two ultimate cents on the dearly departed Michael Jackson.

Ultimate Warrior Michael Jackson

Christian Laettner is being sued by Shawne Merriman. CL better get a good lawyer and an even better bodyguard.

• A Texas Longhorns lineman learns the hard way why you shouldn’t text & drive by plowing into a co-ed’s apartment.

• An Aussie rugby coach is serious enough about drunken behavior on his team that he fines himself $10,000 for stumbling into the wrong hotel room.

Larry Johnson shows he can treat the ladies right by buying some gals in Vegas a really big champagne bottle.

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Texas DE Turns Co-Ed’s Bedroom Into Drive-Thru

Sergio Kindle is many things. He’s a Texas Longhorn, a defensive end, a linebacker, and an All-Conference player. He’s also the inventor and namesake of Amazon’s Kindle device [Oh for crying out loud, no he isn’t!–ed.] [Hang on, I’m turning a beautiful segue here.] [That doesn’t mean you can just flat-out lie.–ed] [Watch me.], so you’d think he would be as much an expert on using portable electronics safely.

Car go flying
(The most amazing part? Her bedroom was on the third floor! Okay, no it wasn’t.)

Oh, but you’d think wrong, considering the epic multitasking fail Kindle just executed last week. While driving through the West Campus district of Austin in the early morning hours of Wednesday, Kindle decided that he needed to send a text message to a friend. Or, we suppose, an enemy. We weren’t in the car with him or anything. Whatever the message was, it was significantly engrossing that Kindle apparently careened into an apartment building, according to BARKING CARNIVAL. And then things got weird.

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