While we know that for the Arizona Cardinals and Pittsburgh Steelers that Sunday was a great day and both teams were celebrating deep into the night, the feelings had to be the exact opposite for members of the Philadelphia Eagles and Baltimore Ravens.  Of course, how they responded to their heartbreak, we can’t be sure. For the Ravens, a lot of their postgame thoughts were probably devoted to Willis McGahee and whether or not he was still alive, but not defensive coordinator Rex Ryan’s.

Most of the Ravens probably hadn’t even finished showering or toweling themselves off when the New York Jets called Rex, and as Ray Lewis was no doubt still beating Joe Flacco in the corner of the locker room, Ryan was accepting an offer to become the next head coach of the Jets.

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OK, whose sloppy seconds would you rather have to have (there are no winners here)? Sean Avery’s, or Britney Spears‘? I’m pretty sure Dion Phaneuf doesn’t mind too much, but one volleyball player should really head to the clinic to get herself checked out.

University of Hawaii student, former All-American and AVP Beach Volleyball player Victoria Prince is Kevin Federline’s latest conquest, and she’s a step down from from Britney circa 2000, but definitely a step up from Britney ‘08. (Judge for yourself with pics, after the jump.)

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I don’t have any way of independently verifying this, but I’m going to go out on a limb and say that last night’s Knicks-Lakers game at Staples Center saw an NBA first. And it wasn’t anything that happened on the floor. Well, it happened close to the floor, I guess. Look who showed up, as a “fan”:

Yup, Stephon Marbury, who is being paid $21 million this year to stay away from the Knicks, bought his own courtside ticket to the game and showed up to watch. Steph, of course, can certainly afford the seats. But how comical is this whole thing getting? The Knicks contend they’re still working on a buyout with Starbury, but he seems to be pretty content to just be chilling, doesn’t he?

Anyway, there was a game, and it was a pretty good one. The Lakers overcame the absence of Pau Gasol — who has strep throat — and a 15-point halftime deficit, to beat New York 116-114. Lamar Odom, battling the flu himself, had season highs with 17 points and 12 rebounds.

The lamest all-star game had its participants announced yesterday. Get used to seeing a bunch of guys from New York running around Honolulu in February. The Jets had a league-high seven players named to the Pro Bowl yesterday, while the Giants are sending six players to the game, including 44-year-old kicker John Carney and 42-year-old punter Jeff Feagles.

Both Mannings made their respective teams, and are the first pair of sibling quarterbacks named to the game in the same season. Peyton will start the game for the AFC, while Kurt Warner, who looked completely done three years ago, will start for the NFC. The Gunslinger made the AFC team (but why?), as did Mario Williams, who was once considered a bad draft pick over Reggie Bush and Vince Young. You can see full AFC rosters here, and full NFC rosters here.

Joe Paterno, who has said in the recent past that he’d probably die if he stopped coaching, was given a three-year life extension yesterday. However, the door is open to shorten or lengthen the contract as necessary. So, basically, the announcement just served the purpose of assuring recruits that JoePa will at least be back next year. Of course, I don’t think Paterno’s known the names of any of his players for a decade now, so that might not make any difference.

(”Who the f*** are you? Where’s Woody Hayes?”)

Alright, let’s hit the links:

• Padraig Harrington only won two golf tournaments this year, but since they were consecutive majors that was good enough to get him voted as PGA Player of the Year.  ESPN’s Jason Sobel explains why Paddy won the award over Tiger Woods.

• THE WIZ OF ODDS says Turner Gill would rather hang out for another year at Buffalo than take over Iowa State’s flailing program. That’s the shape your team is in, ‘Clone fans. Gill probably should’ve taken the job, though, considering that winning five games in two years there qualifies you to coach in the SEC.

• There’s just no words to explain the following photo, so I’m not even gonna try. Big thank you to TMZ (which has more pictures like this if you’re so inclined):

• Sean Avery has been kicked to the curb by the Dallas Stars because of the “sloppy seconds” incident. I’m still completely baffled by the level of outrage this brought out. US MAGAZINE says Avery checked in to a voluntary treatment program (for what? Crude humor?), but TSN says that’s not true.

• OVER THE MONSTER says that Peter Gammons believes that Mark Teixeira is choosing between the Red Sox and Nationals and may make his decision in the next 24-48 hours. The Yankees, Orioles, and Angels are all supposedly still in on Tex as well.

• UAB’s basketball team lost four players yesterday, according to the BIRMINGHAM NEWS. Two players decided to leave the team, and another two were disqualified for the rest of the year because of poor academic standing. Things are going very well for Mike Davis.

• A lot of sports franchises have fallen on hard times, but the Chicago Blackhawks are undergoing a rejuvenation. The CHICAGO TRIBUNE’s Chris Kuc talks about how the Hawks have gone from barely drawing 10,000 fans a game to leading the NHL in attendance in one season. The resurgent Hawks are averaging 21,475 fans per game (outdrawing the Bulls), and are one of the best teams in the NHL’s Western Conference.

• The IDAHO STATESMAN says that a former Boise State football player has arranged for four copies of this billboard to be placed around the San Diego area advertising the team, which will play in the Poinsettia Bowl next week:

They’ll probably win the game, considering they’re bringing two sledgehammers onto the field with them.

• GM is not renewing its contract as official automaker of the Yankees, says XM MLB CHAT. Toyota and Audi will take over that distinction. GM also left a similar situation with the Pirates, and is reviewing deals with six other MLB teams that expire in 2009.

• More from TMZ: Vince Young contends that three guys, including ’70s baseball player Enos Cabell, “stole” the nicknames “VY” and “INVINCEABLE” from him, which is somehow preventing him from getting endorsement deals from Reebok and video game makers. Not being very good at NFL football is apparently much less of a factor.

Sean Avery’s been in a lot of hot water lately, for good reason. After all, you can’t just go and drop bombs about “sloppy seconds” on the American and Canadian public and expect to get away with it Scot free. Still, he probably didn’t see this coming: Avery is done with the Dallas Stars, and the man to make it official was an old friend, former teammate turned Stars co-GM Brett Hull.

(If he’d just left it in there, he’d still be employed.)

As of this afternoon, Avery was officially cut loose from Dallas, though no one has any idea how exactly that’s going to work. Avery was just 23 games into a massive four-year, $15.5 million deal with the Stars when NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman laid the smack down and sent him to the showers for six games. While Dallas didn’t announce any additional punishment at the time, the maelstrom of media discontent over Avery’s comments since clearly made his continuing in Texas a bit hard to stomach, for everyone involved.

Still, the strangest aspect of Avery’s dismissal may be the very public involvement of Dallas GM Brett Hull, who is a former teammate of Avery’s in 2001-2002 in Detroit. How close were they? About as close as two hockey players can get: They were roomates. In fact, Hull took the young Avery under his wing as a mentor, and that was believed to be part of the motivation for Avery heading from the northeast down to one of the NHL’s southernmost outposts over the offseason. After all, if a kid-Avery could live in Hull’s home — and he did as a rookie — than how could he possibly burn him as a pro?

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You know, I was just thinking recently that Alex Rodriguez needs to do some more to endear himself to the rest of the country the way he has with the people of New York. It seems now that, in addition to not being a True Yankee, A-Rod is also not a True American as he’s allegedly decided to play for the Dominican Republic in March’s World Baseball Classic. He played for the U.S. in the 2006 WBC, but perhaps thinks that jumping ship might be the only way he sees a title of any kind in his career.

(Flipping countries. Rooting for Duke. Seriously, what’s not to like about A-Rod?)

None of this is a done deal yet, as the only source of this info seems to be YAHOO! SPORTS’ Gordon Edes, who says Big Papi told him that A-Rod has chosen to play for the D.R. and will make an official announcement soon. And last time, he wavered between playing for the D.R., then the U.S., then not at all, then back to the U.S.

This isn’t totally egregious (like Chris Kaman playing for Germany in the Olympics), as other players chose to play for their countries of heritage rather than their birthplace in the last WBC, but none of those guys were good enough to be chosen to play for the U.S. team (except maybe Mike Piazza, who played for Italy). A-Rod is one of the best players in the world, and while he did live in the D.R. for a while as a kid, he was born in New York City and went to high school in Miami. Luckily, Americans are totally reasonable about nationalism. I’m sure U.S. fans will greet him very warmly if the two teams meet up.

Remember when it looked like Louisville might be a football dynasty in the making? We can pretty much put that to rest. The Cards simply forgot to show up last night and got rolled by Rutgers, 63-14. With the loss, Louisville finishes 1-6 in Big East play and misses a bowl game for the second straight year. Meanwhile, Rutgers has risen from the dead and looks like one of the best offensive teams in the country all of a sudden. Quarterback Mike Teel, who was smacking teammates earlier in the season in the midst of the team’s 1-5 start, threw six touchdown passes in the first half as the Scarlet Knights built a 49-0 halftime lead. Louisville was so bad they had to resort to tackling RU players by the hair:

I forgot that the Raiders and Chargers were playing on the NFL NETWORK last night, and by the time I turned it on it was already 24-0 in the second quarter. San Diego cruised to a 34-7 win. Oakland’s only points came on a kickoff return at the end of the first half. Good to see the Raiders are back after that inexplicable win over Denver a couple weeks ago. As for the Chargers, it looks like too little, too late. The Bolts have to win out (including a win over the Broncos) and hope Denver loses every game. And the Broncos are playing the Chiefs this weekend. Not looking good.

With the ACC-Big Ten thing over with, college basketball now turns its attention to the awkwardly-named Pac 10-Big 12 Hardwood Series, which saw both L.A. teams go down on the road. UCLA fell to Texas, 68-64, while USC squandered a late comeback bid and lost to Oklahoma, 73-72. I gotta say, though — I like Blake Griffin and think he’s a stud, but he’s already getting the superstar treatment from the officials and it’s only December 4th. Although, Griffin did get elbowed in the nads by USC’s Leonard Washington during the game, which was a pretty legitmate foul. See for yourself:

• The BOSTON HERALD tells us about a high school football player in Massachusetts who dropped out of school, then returned for a fifth year to play football and graduate. He’s been ruled ineligible because the state’s rules say that a player beyond a fourth year of school can’t play. The guy’s only been in seven plays all year, but his team may have to vacate it’s league and potential state title (provided they win this weekend). Of course, there’s all sorts of legal challenges going on.  The lesson here: don’t try to better yourself by returning to school.

• Ball State coach Brady Hoke supposedly isn’t big on money, but the BALL STATE DAILY NEWS says he’ll still need more of it if he’s going to stay in Muncie for much longer. He’s the eighth-highest paid coach…in the MAC.

• FANHOUSE’s Bruce Ciskie says the Stars are looking at ways to get rid of Sean Avery. That was quick. At least he lasted longer than Melrose did in Tampa. To make this more exciting, here’s a photo of Avery’s “sloppy seconds” with new boyfriend Dion Phaneuf:

• LAS VEGAS NEWS BLOG says that people are selling tickets to the supposedly sold-out De La Hoya-Pacquaio for half price.

• Khalil Greene is going to be hitting .220 in St. Louis next year. The ST. LOUIS POST-DISPATCH reminisces about the Cards’ middle infield carousel over the past few seasons.

• The United Football League doesn’t have any teams yet and one of its main investors is in some trouble for insider training. But that doesn’t mean they can’t have a vaguely inappropriate logo! WITH LEATHER brings us this:

• The last time the Bills played in Toronto, during the preseason, thousands of tickets went unsold and had to be given away. NATIONAL POST says that this weekend’s game at the Rogers Centre is finally sold out, but the fact it took so long is not exactly what the Bills and the NFL were looking for in this whole Canada experiment.

• So far, it appears as if Michelle Wie is actually going to qualify for the LPGA tour. She’s tied for the lead after 2 rounds of Q-school, and only has to finish in the top 20 to earn a tour card. So, it’ll be like, an actual accomplishment. In golf.

• Some team just gave Edgar Renteria and his .699 OPS $18.5 million. Yup, it’s gotta be the Giants. FANTASY 411 makes this sound way more reasonable than it really is.

• Finally, ESPN’s Paul Kuharsky has the heartwarming tale of a ball of tape that the Titans are treating like it’s one of their teammates. Cute for a while, then kinda weird.

Joey Porter may be trying to make a case as the official motormouth of the NFL, but he has nothing on the loathsome linguistic skills of Sean Avery.

You may question whether or not Avery’s “sloppy seconds” remark really merited the nasty NHLer an indefinite suspension. But it seems that Sean’s cutting comments regarding ex-girlfriend Elisha Cuthbert and her current beau Dion Phaneuf was nothing compared to the verbal sparring he previously shared with a 59-year-old female fan.

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Congratulations to Kobe Bryant for scoring his 22,000th career point against the Indiana Pacers last night. Your reward? A total fourth-quarter collapse by your team’s defense and a head-scratching 118-117 loss. Personally, as I gift I’d rather receive a pair of socks, or even a gift certificate to Arby’s than that.

(Sasha - wha’ happened?)

The reason the Lakers blew a 15-point fourth quarter lead was simple: they stopped playing defense. They gave up 32 points in the quarter and six offensive rebounds, the last being Troy Murphy’s tip-in that gave the Pacers the victory. It’s the first Lakers loss to a bad team this season, but knowing the team’s recent history of falling victim to seemingly overlooking bad teams. (Between them and the USC football team, there must be something in the LA water.)

Meanwhile, Dallas Stars winger Sean Avery’s mouth has gotten him in trouble yet again. He’s been suspended indefinitely for “inappropriate public comments” after running his mouth before a game against the Calgary, specifically targeting Flames defenseman Dion Phaneuf, who happens to be dating Avery’s ex, hottie actress Elisha Cuthbert.

Here’s Avery’s comments. If you look closely, you can see his teammates praying for an errant piece of Sputnik to come crashing down on him:

A class act, that Sean Avery. USA TODAY breaks down some of his recent “greatest hits“, including his swipe a few years ago at French-Canadians. This is Avery’s first season with the Stars, but he’s already managed to alienate his team. Dallas owner Tom Hicks said that the team would have suspended Avery if the league didn’t, and teammates like Marty Turco are already sick of his act. And we know how opponents feel about him.

• WITH LEATHER wonders if either SI Sportsman of the Year Michael Phelps had his head shrunk post-Olympics, or if his head was just Photoshopped for the cover.



• UConn running back Andre Dixon might not have to worry about where the Huskies are playing their bowl game, as the NORWICH BULLETIN reports that his participation is in doubt after being arrested for a DUI.
• If you are Thomas Cole, a former assistant girls high school basketball coach in Orange County, and you are accused of having sex with a minor, you might not want to text her. The ORANGE COUNTY REGISTER says that apparently Cole felt otherwise.
• Could the Army vs. Navy game be moving to the Midwest? The INDIANAPOLIS STAR says that the Colts’ new home of Lucas Oil Stadium is on the short list of potential homes for the game.
• Vidal Hazelton went from USC’s leading receiver in 2007 to a little-used player this season to the latest Trojan to transfer out of the program, according to the LOS ANGELES DAILY NEWS.
• JOE SPORTS FAN gets into the world of sports humor videos, and they’re already ahead of the Sklar Brothers in terms of making something funny. Their first topic: EA Sports’ Adult Mens Softball 09.
• THE WORLD OF ISAAC takes you inside the equally bizarre world of probable Hall of Famer Rickey Henderson by recapping some of his greatest “Rickey being Rickey” moments.
• To the surprise of some, the ACC/Big Ten Challenge has actually been a challenge so far, with each conference winning three games. Duke won the marquee match-up last night, rolling past Purdue 76-60 in what FOX SPORTS’ Jeff Goodman calls an especially impressive performance.
• The lawyers representing Vikings defensive tackles Pat and Kevin Williams (not related or married) tell the ST. PAUL PIONEER PRESS that they are going to sue over their clients’ suspensions over banned weight-loss substances.
• With a season-ending loss to Oregon, THE REGISTER-GUARD reports that Oregon State likely knocked themselves from the Rose Bowl to a trip to lovely El Paso and a possible Sun Bowl date against Notre Dame. Needless to say, the fans are far from pleased.

• So no matter that the new movie The Express might claim, West Virginia fans didn’t harass Ernie Davis during his Heisman Trophy-winning season, or ever? Next you’re going to tell me that Rudy really didn’t wind up getting carried off the field after saving Frodo from Gollum.



• Coastal Carolina’s golf team must have had John Daly as a role model, as three players were suspended for underage drinking. Drinking and golf? Who ever heard of such a thing. If they need a drinking buddy, maybe JJ Reddick news came out that his contract with the Magic could be extended - just so they can release him.
• Apparently the UC Davis Marching Band liked showing off their little Aggies a little too much for the band director’s taste - he’s filed a sexual harassment complaint against band members.
• Not fat? French league basketball player Ho You Fat. Also not fat: Bengals LB Darryl Blackstock. You usually aren’t when you’ve been yoking up with the help of steroids. Or as the Bengals call getting trouble with the NFL, “taking one for the team.”
• Mark Sanchez might not play this Saturday against Arizona St. If about 50 more players on the USC depth chart get hurt, the Sun Devils might have a shot!
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Sean Avery of the Dallas Stars is kind of like the A.J. Pierzynski of hockey: He kind of roams the ice like a pinball, picking fights with everyone he comes across, hoping that eventually an opponent will lose their cool and (a) serve some time in the penalty box, (b) draw a suspension, or (c) go wacko and retire to an insane asylum for the remainder of their days. Which means that Avery must be pleased with himself today after hearing the news that Ben Eager of the Blackhawks got suspended for 3 games after an Avery-induced fight.

(Sean Avery on the left, Ben Eager on the right, during happier times)

As TSN reports, Eager got stuck with the suspension after Avery got him so upset he actually swung at him with his hockey stick, while Eager was on the bench. “Avery had skated by and apparently said something to the Hawk bench. Eager reacted by swinging his stick.”

Eager will lose $9,677.43 in the process, which will be donated to the Players’ Emergency Assistance Fund. Ironically, most of that money will be used on players maimed by Avery.

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• DEADSPIN discovers the welcome wagon derailed, as someone doesn’t want ex-NBAer Aaron McKie moving into their posh Pennsylvania town.

• Jorge Sedano of 790 THE TICKET believes Brett Favre’s retirement ruckus has all been just a big scam on the QB’s part.

• 100& INJURY RATE thinks it’s fabulous how newest Dallas Star Sean Avery responds to allegations that he’s gay - by telling a female fashion photographer that he’s “going home to jerk off to you now.”

• Baron Davis is glad to be “bizzack” in L.A., but will still miss the Bay.

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