Scott Boras New Teen Prospect: Daughter Natalie

The folks at BarstoolSports.com via Slanchreport.com scared up some photos today of Scott Boras‘ daughter Natalie. (She’s actually 21.)

Scott Boras Daughter Photos Natalie Boras Photos

(Natalie on right, Boras wife Jeanette in inset)

Scott Boras Daughter Photos Natalie Boras Photos

(Nubile comes to mind)

It was worth the effort.

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A’s-Angels — A Preponderance Of Bees, Perhaps?

As we know from our study of horror movies, it’s usually flies that congregate in places where Satan has taken up residence. That’s why I was surprised by this development — Scott Boras‘ private box at Anaheim Stadium was overrun by a giant swarm of bees today.

This brave nature photographer was no help whatsoever, so stadium workers had to use a giant Dustbuster to vacuum up the bees so that LA could continue spanking the A’s, 9-1. Read more…

Speed Read: Cable Doesn’t KO Punch-Up Rumors

The Oakland Raiders: they put the “Holy crap, Coach just slugged an assistant!” in “dysfunction.” At least, we’ll have to assume that’s what happened, as Raiders head coach Tom Cable (who is not, by the way, in way over his head) didn’t do much to clarify reports that he broke the jaw of defensive assistant coach Randy Hanson with a sucker punch, with his only response being that “it’s an internal issue and we’re dealing with it, and that’s all I’m going to say.”

Tom Cable, Randy Hanson

That sure didn’t sound like a denial, and “dealing with it” sure seems like code for “I’m going to use a tire iron to cave in the head of the next pipsqueak who asks me about this.” The Raiders are becoming more like a sitcom every day. Sort of like “Coach“, but with less physical comedy and more physical assault.

Cast of Coach

 (Remember when Hayden Fox crushed Luther’s jaw with a punch? Me either.)

(Although I do love the episode where Coach smashed in Dauber’s face with a beer bottle after he lost the playbook right before the big game in a wacky mix-up.)

If Cable (who is totally qualified to be an NFL head coach and has the winning demeanor of a John Madden or Curly Lambeau) wasn’t admitting to anything on Monday, then at least his players were rolling over on him, starting a “Cable, Bumaye” chant during practice to mimic the cheers Muhammad Ali got from the African people before the “Rumble in the Jungle.”

And about Hanson: Raiders fans might remember, he’s the same coach that irritated Lane Kiffin so much that he “suspended him for one game, said he had medical issues and then tried to fire him” before Al Davis stepped in and backed Hanson, who apparently is one of his favorites. So Cable (who is not treading so much water that the band from “Titanic” is standing by) probably picked the worst person in the organization to slug except for Davis himself.

(Also, you have to wonder if one of those “medical conditions” that Kiffin tried to use to fire Hanson was a “permanent glass jaw”…)

Meanwhile, Beano Cook thinks that Syracuse should get a spot ready for another Heisman Trophy to go along with those representing Jim Brown and Ernie Davis. After all, if they found a way to get Ron Powlus back at QB, anything is possible. Of course, Beano Cook is a rambling old man, the kind who holds up the line at the supermarket so he can check every item on the receipt for errors.

greg paulus qb

So no, Syracuse didn’t get “Heisman” Powlus into their football program, but it’s close: they announced yesterday that former Duke point guard Greg Paulus will be the starting QB for their opening game against Minnesota. It’s either a testament to the athletic ability of Paulus - who hasn’t played football since high school but was once the Gatorade National Player of the Year - or the sorry state of Syracuse football that someone who has been out of the game for years is their best bet. I won’t say which one, but merely point out that Syracuse was 3-25 in the Big East the last four years.

Finally, let’s see…former WWE champion decides to become an MMA fighter. Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. But this time we aren’t talking about a UFC heavyweight champion/Coors aficionado, but a new possible women’s MMA star. The DAYTON DAILY NEWS says that Lisa Marie Varon, who wrestled until recently in the WWE as Victoria, has been training for nearly a year and is ready to make her MMA debut soon.

Victoria

On the positive side, Varon is a former bodybuilding and fitness model who was one of the most physical women’s wrestlers, and she is working with former UFC champ Rich Franklin’s trainer. The downsides are that she is 38, and has almost no fighting experience.

Victoria

Still, she apparently is quite serious about this, and wants to become a part of the Strikeforce women’s division. While she might not talented enough to rival Christiane “Cyborg” Santos, I think we can agree that seeing Varon take on Gina Carano would be a much more attractive match-up.

In other sports news that you might have missed while celebrating the fact that The Kids In The Hall are getting back together for a TV project:

  • No matter what, Scott Boras always wins. This time it was getting a last-minute deal done between the Washington Nationals and his client, No. 1 draft pick Stephen Strasburg. The price tag? Just a cool four years and $15 million - almost double what the Cubs signed Mark Prior for in 2001 in what had been the previous largest contract for a draft pick.
  • The NEW YORK TIMES wonders if Y.E. Yang’s shocking victory over Tiger Woods in the PGA Championship will start a golfing boom in Asia that could help the PGA Tour. Because that’s worked so well for the LPGA…
  • Speaking of which, CNBC’s Darren Rovell says that other than Yang, the biggest winner on Sunday might have been Le Coq Sportif, the clothing line whose red rooster logo got almost $2 million of free air time during final round coverage.
  • The Lingerie Football League has released its preseason “All Fantasy Team“, but BUSTED COVERAGE wants to know if you should be more insulted to be a third-team offensive lineman or first-team offensive lineman.
  • Stephen Good might be the starting right guard for the Oklahoma Sooners, but EVERY DAY SHOULD BE SATURDAY says there’s one thing that terrifies him more than losing to Texas: Clowns, especially Pennywise from “It”. No word on if he wet the bed when Bozo the Clown came on as a kid.
  • Sad news from the CHARLOTTE OBSERVER: former North Carolina State LB Edrick Smith was killed early Sunday morning when a hit-and-run drunk driver smashed into the Honda Accord he was in, splitting it in two.
  • NEWSOK.COM says that Oklahoma All-American TE Jermaine Gresham broke his vow of media silence last Friday … to give a “shout out” to Michael Vick for being signed by the Eagles. Also, he gave “mad props” to attempted Presidential assassin/Manson Family member Lynette “Squeaky” Fromme for being released from prison.
  • Great, another “Polish canoeist goes nuts on the way to World Championships and forces plane into emergency landing” story.
  • Two men from Honolulu were arrested in Las Vegas for having pot in their car after leading police on a short chase. Not much of a story, until you realize that the men were Honolulu cops in Nevada to play on a softball team in the Nevada Police & Fire Games. Needless to say, Dano has already booked them, and then beat them for being so stupid.
  • This might be a bit more than gamesmanship: a top British rugby team was having players use fake blood so they could substitute in better kickers during key stages of games.

What’s your favorite moment of coaching violence (real or threatened)?

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Lobos Football Only Hiring Good-Looking Ladies?

• An ex-University of New Mexico employee sues the football department, claiming that the Lobos are only looking to employ lovely young ladies.

New Mexico is sexy bikini

(“Hey, that bikini is in our school colors! You’re hired!”)

• South Africa can’t seem to give World Cup tickets away, but they’re going to try anyway.

• Washington Nationals broadcasters take some on-air time lambasting Scott Boras and his high-priced client, Stephen Strasburg.

• Speaking of D.C., Redskins backup QB Colt Brennan denies hooking up with Jessica Simpson. Hope you enjoyed your 15 minutes, Colt.

Brendan Haywood doesn’t think much of Stephon Marbury’s latest online entertainment, but does think he might be gay.

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Nats’ Announcers Get Apopleptic Over Strasburg

As we mentioned over the weekend, the Washington Nationals’ brass were all in California, ostensibly to convince Stephen Strasburg to sign before the deadline of midnight tonight. But the weekend came and went without a deal, and the odds are awfully low that Strasburg’s a member of the Nats by the time the clock strikes 12.

Rob Dibble and Bob Carpenter
(”And that’s why I think we’re dealing with the baseball equivalent of Satan here.” “Well said, my friend.”)

That fact wasn’t lost on the Nationals’ in-house announcers last night as they called the Washington-Cincinnati game, a 5-4 rally win for the Nats. While watching their team fight with another bottom-feeder in a game of absolutely no relevance, the broadcast team lit into Strasburg and agent Scott Boras with a jarring fury.

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The Stephen Strasburg Signing Ballet Plods Along

Recall, if you will, the Nationals’ decision to draft superprospect Stephen Strasburg with their first pick, knowing full well the inherent difficulty they’d encounter trying to sign him. Strasburg’s reportedly good enough to be a top-level starter now, and his agent (notorious inflationist Scott Boras) is willing to do anything to keep him out of the small-market cellar that is Washington.


(Strasburg, seen here not pitching for Washington.)

Thus, Boras reportedly attached a $50 million price tag to Strasburg, nearly $40 million more than the previous record for rookie contracts, and thus began the awkward dance between the Nationals and Strasburg. We up to speed? Good. The Nats have kept all negotiations out of the press, which is only wise when it ends up in Strasburg signing a contract. And now, with the deadline looming just a few short days away, it seems that owner Ted Lerner may - may - be getting closer to sealing the deal. Maybe.

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Porn People Want To Place Ads on Texans Jerseys

• In lieu of a new NFL rule, an adult film company makes an offer to place its ads on the Houston Texans’ practice jerseys.

Andre Johnson Crude Oil porno

• Despite some secretly-planted grass, the Red Sox still continue to spank the Yanks at Fenway.

Alonzo Mourning thinks Kobe is a better coach than Phil Jackson.

• Phillies slugger Raul Ibanez gets irate at a blogger for making steroid accusations, offers to show his hair, blood, urine, stool… you get the idea.

• Ex-NFL bust Ryan Leaf is on the run from the law over his drug charges.

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Scott Boras Possibly Not As Evil As Hitler Or Satan

So at about this time every year, right after the MLB Draft, Scott Boras emerges from his burrow, and if he sees his own shadow that’s another six months of negotiating with the No. 1 overall pick. In this case of course that would be San Diego State pitching prodigy Stephen Strasburg.

Scott Boras

Sure, Boras usually uses his powers for evil instead of good, and probably has various pizza delivery guys and meter readers hanging upside down in his basement, where he feeds on their blood. But in this case, for once, could we cut him some slack? Read more…

Nationals Get Sane, Will Draft Strasburg After All

Stephen Strasburg is the best pitcher in the upcoming draft. He’d have been the best in the last five drafts. Or 10. Or… when was Nolan Ryan drafted? Okay, that’s an exaggeration. Maybe.

Stephen Strasburg
(”I came here to do two things: kick ass and tip my cap. And I’m all out of tipping my cap.”)

So you’d think he’s going first, since people think he’s already a top-level major league pitcher, but oh yes, this is the MLB draft, and a-holes agents like Scott Boras love pricing their clients out of teams in small markets (and with small payrolls). It was just weeks ago that Washington was saying they wouldn’t draft Strasburg since Boras is going to ask for 70 times the United States’ GDP, but according to FOX SPORTS, that tune has changed:   Read more…

Strasburg Throws No-Hitter; Nats Feign Disinterest

He’s already considered perhaps the best college pitching prospect of all time, but Stephen Strasburg just might have earned himself a couple extra million in that deal Scott Boras is “not at all negotiating at this time” with the Nationals.

Stephen Strasburg

The acting GM of the Nats, Mike Rizzo, was on hand yesterday as San Diego State’s Strasburg threw a no-hitter against Air Force, piling up 17 strikeouts in the process. Almost as entertaining, though, was Rizzo’s attempts to give Strasburg as many back-handed compliments as possible to make it look like the team isn’t falling all over itself to get him in their rotation as soon as possible.

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