Scots: Tyranny Goes From Crown To Wraparound

Like you, I’m delighted the Scots recently made Donald Trump’s acquaintance and entrusted a huge chunk of priceless North Atlantic coastline to his latest golf development.

(We’ll play through. Cheers.)

Actually, “entrusted” might not be entirely accurate. From the BBC:

Efforts are still being made by the Trump Organisation to buy a handful of properties on the site, but the owners have been refusing to sell.

A council committee originally rejected the proposal for the development.

The proposal was later called in by the Scottish government, and approved.

Oh, and the half-acre owned by a local that Trump really needs so he can steamroll “1500 total housing units” onto soon-to-be-formerly pristine land?

Councillors have granted Donald Trump special permission to bid exclusively for a key piece of land to complete his billion pound Aberdeenshire golf resort.

On Tuesday councillors voted to afford the business tycoon “special purchaser” status which means he alone will be allowed to apply to purchase the ground.

Several rival bids had been made for the land - currently owned by Aberdeenshire Council and landlocked by Mr Trump’s Menie Estate.

Don’t forget that Trump will contribute to the local economy even more by providing much-needed employment to Scotland’s devastated age 12-and-under demographic. Read more…

Soccer Team Gets Stuck In Traffic; Bails On Game

Imagine how excited you’re going to be to see your favorite NFL team get started tomorrow. (or Monday. Or two nights ago. Whatever, humor me.) Then, think about putting on the jersey and heading out to the game a few hours early with a cooler full of meat and Natty Lights (admit it, that’s what you drink). Then, spending a few hours with old friends and new friends talking about how awesome it is that football season is finally here.

traffic jam

Then, finding out that the game has been canceled because of a traffic jam. Welcome to Scotland, where apparently the concept of an “alternate route” doesn’t exist. And of course it was a soccer game. I’m surprised you even had to ask. What other sport has such ridiculous excuses for calling off games?

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BBC Hoards Entire Staff In Dorms For British Open

The BBC has one of the sweetest gigs in broadcasting. The UK government decided to institute independent public broadcasting and fully funded the network with “television license fees” - nice word for taxes per TV, basically. In other words, since the government doesn’t directly give them any money there’s no incentive whatsoever to be a mouthpiece for Britain (or anybody else, since there’s no advertising). Pretty slick.

Turnberry Ailsa
(Why yes, it is beautiful. You’ll be staying far away from here.)

That doesn’t exempt the company from frugality, though, which is fair; nobody wants their government funding a bloated calf in the media. All that said, their coverage of this year’s British Open in Scotland is a head-scratcher: 420 traveling staff, zero hotel rooms rented. Huh?
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The $83 Million Question: Is Kobe Going Greek?

Where Is William Wallace When You Need Him?

A few years ago a group of friends and I all bought season tickets to the Chicago Bears.   Every Sunday morning when the Bears were playing at home, we’d get down to Soldier Field at around 8AM and begin our tailgating celebration.  Now considering that none of us are the greatest cooks, we generally just focused on drinking as many beers as possible before going into the stadium.   Then as game time approached, we’d all stuff around five or six beers into our pockets or pant legs to sneak into Soldier Field.   We never got busted, as they didn’t really search all that hard.

“They may take our lives, but they’ll never take our BOOOOOOOZE!  What?  They did?  Son of a…”

In recent years, this has changed.  Security at Soldier Field conducts a search that ends just shy of an anal probe, so sneaking in beer has become nearly impossible.   I never understood this because even though there were a ton of drunk people inside the stadium, it’s not like we were rioting or anything.   Everyone knows that riots are limited to soccer and that you need around 240 gallons of alcohol to approach rioting status.

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Just About The Worst Soccer Shot Ever Seen

Scotland and Norway played to a scoreless draw yesterday in a World Cup qualifying match, a result that was another dagger in the Tartan Army’s dwindling hopes for reaching South Africa in 2010. But what made the result so noteworthy wasn’t what happened what what didn’t happen, specifically one goal that wasn’t scored.

Chris Iwelumo

The culprit was Scotland’s Chris Iwelumo, and the play in question - as described by the GLASGOW DAILY MAIL - might go down as one of the worst misses in soccer history, as he fired wide of a completely open net from two yards away. It was like watching the team at the beginning of Ladybugs, except without the boyish yet doomed charms of a young Jonathan Brandis.

Video after the jump:

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New Golf Prodigy Giving ‘er All She’s Got, Captain

There’s a 15-year-old former gymnast out of Scotland that’s drawing comparisons to America’s own Michelle Wie, with one notable exception.

Carly Booth Golf Scotland

This girl can actually win. Read more…