Breaking Non-News: Hockey Players Can’t Rap

Remember Sarah Spain? I don’t think I’m allowed to say what I think of her, but it rhymes with shmashmention shmore. Ms. Spain is over at MOUTHPIECE SPORTS now, and sat down with Blackhawks winger Kris Versteeg. Versteeg leads all rookies in +/- rating, but more importantly, leads the NHL in cringe-inducing raps.

Kris Versteeg Chicago Blackhawks

(Kris Versteeg: Ghetto Fabulous.)

Versteeg has said his dream is go onstage at a Fergie concert. Question his manhood all you like, but don’t question his devotion to The Duchess. Here, without prodding, he honors us with his rendition of Ludacris‘ part from “Glamorous.” Oh, like you aren’t desperate to see the video, after the jump.

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Sarah Spain Super Bowl Ebay Auction A Gigantic Bust

SUPER BOWL AUCTION A HUGE BUST: This week’s hot girl trying to auction off her companionship in order to attend the Super Bowl is brought to you by Sarah Spain of Brentwood, CA.

Sarah Spain ESPN

Ms. Spain, who lists herself as single on her (apparently very popular) Myspace page, appeared on KSPN-AM’s “D’Marco Farr Show with Kevin Kiley” in Los Angeles Thursday to talk about her proposition to prospective Super Bowl attendees (she had already put herself on eBay promising a date in exchange for a ticket to the game).

Unfortunately for Spain, who saw the bidding soar to nearly $20K, eBay took down the listing late Thursday night.

Sarah Spain

More importantly, we were pointed to her Myspace picture page, which will probably provide more entertainment to football fans than Chicago’s offensive attack against the Colts.

And at the very least, by the look of her photos, Spain shouldn’t have a shortage of celebrities willing to spend Super Sunday with her, like former UCLAer and NBAer Reggie Miller.

Reggie Miller

Stop bogarting the bean dip, Reg!