8:15 PM An Army National Guard veteran is hoping officials in West Lafayette, Ohio will change a village ordinance so he will be allowed to keep his 14 pet ducks on his property. Darin Welker says that the ducks help relieve his post-traumatic stress disorder.
While Brooks and the rest of the SbB crew worked hard to get you the very latest on the Steve McNair murder, Sunday turned out to be a pretty big day for three of the world’s biggest athletes — who just happened to have co-starred in the “Citizen Kane” of awkward athlete endorsement campaigns.
That’s right, now that Thierry Henry has been booted from the Gillette posse (at least in America), all three razor-wielding superstars had pretty huge days.
First, Roger Federer made history by winning his 15th Grand Slam title in a crazy five-set win at Wimbledon over Andy Roddick. Pete Sampras was in the audience, taking in the match as only Sampras could — puking his guts out on the sideline looking bored out of his gourd. The 30-game fifth set was the longest in Slam history by a full 10 games. The final game was the only time Federer broke Roddick’s serve the entire match. Only Roddick’s inability to put away four set points in a second-set tiebreak kept him from pulling off the huge upset.
As Federer was accepting his trophy, Tiger Woods was getting ready to tee off in the final round at the AT&T National, which he hosts. I’m not sure I understand the “host” thing, is that like when Heidi and Spencer “host” a party at PURE? He started the day in a tie with defending champion Anthony Kim, but soon found himself needing to keep up with Hunter Mahan, who started well back but fired a 62 to zoom all the way to the top of the leaderboard. Tiger drained a 20-footer on the 16th hole to take the lead, and he got to the clubhouse with two easy pars to wrap up his 68th PGA Tour win. And he interviewed himself afterward. I have to give him credit, though, as it was the first time the questions in a Tiger interview were as boring as the answers.
Jeter got more votes than anyone else in the AL, but is joined in the starting lineup by just one other Yankee — first baseman Mark Teixeira. A-Rod is nowhere to be seen, with Evan Longoria getting the starting nod instead. Josh Hamilton was voted into the starting lineup despite missing all of June with an injury, and this year’s recipient of the Lance Carter Memorial “Who?” Award is Oakland reliever Andrew Bailey, who is a fine pitcher but a guy even baseball fans would be hard pressed to tell you anything about. And while it looks like manager Joe Maddon pulled some homerism by adding Jason Bartlett, Carl Crawford, and Ben Zobrist to the team, all three of those guys are having huge years. And yes, if you’re scoring at home, Zobrist is the last All-Star ever, alphabetically speaking. The other big story is that of 42-year-old Tim Wakefield, who surprisingly has never been an All-Star until now. And congrats to the Royals for producing an actual All-Star this year, rather than their usual token “we gotta put someone on the team” guy.
The NL team is headlined by Albert Pujols, who received the second-most votes ever (only Ken Griffey Jr. got more, in 1994). At age 37, Raul Ibanez is an All-Star for the first time, and has been voted in as a starter. Unfortunately, it looks like he’s probably not going to be able to play. Nor is fellow outfielder Carlos Beltran. That means that reserves Hunter Pence and Brad Hawpe are likely to be out there when the game starts. No true no-name on the roster, as even Pittsburgh’s representative — Freddy Sanchez — is fairly deserving of his spot.
• If you click on only one link today, read this story in the L.A. TIMES about Zac Sunderland, a 17-year-old kid who is nearing the end of a solo circumnavigation of the world on a sailboat. Pirates, broken sails on the open seas, armed police escorts in New Guinea. It’s safe to say he had a more eventful year than the rest of us.
• OK, there was something called the “Junior World Football Championships” going on for the last week, and you’re not going to believe this — but the USA won. Shocking, considering our boys had to take down the likes of France, Mexico, and Canada (which they did by a cumulative score of 174-3). Next time, in an effort to even the playing field and give other countries a fighting chance, the U.S. is just going to send Washington State’s football team instead (they might be able to beat Sweden).
Brooks can take this job and shove it. I don’t need to be a blogger anymore, because I’ve found my true calling in life. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, the North American Air Sex Championships.
Picture air guitar, but with less strumming and more bumming. Less twanging and more banging. Less plucking, and you get the picture. And just like real sex, it has to be done in under two minutes. But that’s plenty of time to get ridiculously creative.
Aykroyd, wearing his trademark black sunglasses, arrived at the United Center driving the Blues Mobile from the movie “Blues Brothers.”
“I imagined Johnny [Belushi] sitting next to me on those cold nights in Harvey, Ill.,” Aykroyd said of a location of filming for “Blues Brothers” in 1980.
Yeah, the Hawks had a little trouble with the spelling of the actor’s last name that night. But it’s just as well, considering Aykroyd isn’t from Chicago or a Blackhawks fan for that matter. Read more…
About time we get our bi-monthly Sarah Palin fix, with the ASSOCIATED PRESS as the enabler.
(Video after the jump)
The AP has an advance of an interview Palin did with ESQUIRE mag that will be out on Feb. 16. Of course, the only reason any media outlet these days interviews Palin is to attempt to make her look like a complete jackass.
(Chris Berman approves)
And I’m happy to report that Esquire succeeded in that endeavor. Read more…
Not to go all MSNBC on you, but did you see Rod Blagojevich’s press conference yesterday? Holy crap, that’s the early favorite for batsh*ttiest insane moment of 2009. The impeached Illinois Governor is honestly making Stephen Colbert’s job a little too easy. But around these parts, we all know that the destination for cutting edge political satire isn’t the Daily Show or Colbert Report, but rather the ECHL.
Those Las Vegas Wranglers are up to their old tricks again, scheduling Rod Blagojevich night. The players will play in vintage prison uniforms, a move that’s either hilariously slanderous or slanderously hilarious. They’ll also be auctioning off the best seat to the highest bidder.
Let’s play the old Sesame Street game “Which one of these things is not like the other?”: Angelina Jolie, Sarah Palin, Oprah Winfrey, Hillary Clinton, Gina Carano. If you guessed Carano, congratulations! You just picked out the least likely member of the “Top 5 most influential women” in, well, just about ever.
(Yup. Looks like Top 5 quality to us.)
Carano, easily the best looking fighter ever, catapulted from complete anonymity into the Top 10 of YAHOO! BUZZ’s annual list of most influential women. In fact, she not only made the list, she made the top 5. Sure, Carano got plenty of eyeballs on her as “Crush” on “American Gladiators”, and also probably in part of being one half of the first-ever primetime female fight. Still, we’re betting that her looks have something to do with it, no?