• Andrea Reiher of BUGS & CRANKS believes that this whole tizzy over the White Sox clubhouse dolls has been blown up out of proportion.

• Meanwhile, CHICAGO BULL finds a Tribune columnist calling out the Sun-Times columnist who made a big deal about the dolls in the first place.

• But the Trib notes that the Sox aren’t so insensitive, as Nick Swisher, Bobby Jenks, Toby Hall and John Danks all think pink - by dyeing their facial hair for Mother’s Day.

• WALKOFF WALK won’t take a seat for the Padres, as chairs from PETCO Park are apparently on sale on eBay for over $22,000.

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GASLAMP BALL has notified Padres fans across this fine land that Kendra Wilkinson, who we understand is some kind of actress or model for periodicals, will throw out the first pitch for the San Diego National League franchise some time this year. Season ticket sales should rise just like Marisa Miller into Ryan Dempster’s arms.

However, in our extensive and rather fatiguing research for this piece, we discovered a shocking truth about Kendra Wilkinson that we can only share with you in picture form. Please brace yourself before reading on. If you were surfing the Internet while standing up, sit down.
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• DEADSPIN needs a drink, as the alcohol content of the $8.50 beers at San Diego Padres games is only 3.2 percent!!!!

No wonder PETCO PARK visitors are able to stay up all night.

• THE SLANCH REPORT via WITH LEATHER serves up Reds pitcher Bronson Arroyo singing the praises of big meat. It’s the finest union of Cincinnati sports & food products since Carson Palmer went long…er!

• AND WHAMMY has footage of LeBron James creating, as the announcers call it, “an earthquake in Cleveland, Ohio!” Wonder if Trenni Kusnierek felt that one, too.

• SI’s Richard Deitsch looks back on the many words of wisdom Isiah Thomas shared with the world during his Knicks tenure.

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Wrigleyville merchants selling offensive t-shirts? Bet they reply, “Me so solly!”

• Dwyane Wade dating Star Jones? How in the world did this happen?

• Derrick Rose isn’t looking so good for the NBA Draft, after losing a fight with a guy over a gal.

• Marty Brennaman, tell us how you really feel about Cubs fans.

• Turns out Will Perdue is not a big fan of sports bloggers. Will Mark Cuban offer him a contract?

• Buy me some peanuts and turkey testicles, I don’t care if I ever get back…

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Fans at PETCO Park - at least those that stayed around - certainly got their money’s worth Thursday night, as the Colorado Rockies eventually beat the San Diego Padres 2-1 - after 22 innings.

The SAN DIEGO UNION-TRIBUNE reports that the contest between NL West rivals lasted 6 hours & 16 minutes, finally ending at 1:21 a.m. local time Friday morning - that’s 4:21 a.m. on the East Coast. Those that really love pitchers’ duels would’ve exploded with ecstasy at PETCO, as the game was scoreless up until the 14th.

So, how did those who stuck it out at the ballpark carry on?

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This baseball season will be the fifth for the Padres in San Diego’s plush Petco Park.

It will also be the fifth consecutive year that beer at the ballpark will be more expensive than the previous season. And that’s just the way baseball likes it.

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Proving yet again that the longest distance between two points involves the Marketing department, the Los Angeles Dodgers and San Diego Padres have brought skeleton squads to China this week for two exhibition games to raise awareness of baseball. While no one in China recognizes a single player on either squad, there is an unexpected touchstone: padres over eight feet tall.

(Monks are cuddly!)

The Padres took their turn climbing the Great Wall of China and found it more difficult than expected without Mike Cameron to provide an example. Not everyone struggled, though; Adrian Gonzalez’s wife, Becky, made it most of the way in 3-inch high heels. Read more…