It’s not that we don’t appreciate PETA - we do, animal abuse is awful* - but we always thought that they went about this Manu Ginobili bat incident all wrong. Instead of hounding him for an apology or whatever it is they wanted from him, why didn’t they just figure out a way to, as THE ONION suggests via the picture below, even the score?

(SKREEEEEEE!)

Now, granted, it’s probably not in PETA’s mission statement to arrange cruel and unusual “death matches,” even if both sides were practically spoiling for the fight. But this is the sort of thing they could use to really bolster their national presence. I say do it; Manu already has his rabies shots and everything. Satisfy our bloodlust, then you can lecture everybody about the sanctity of all life afterward.

*unless it results in steak or bacon, of course.

Jeff McDonald of the SAN ANTONIO EXPRESS-NEWS reports today that Manu Ginobili is facing four different sessions of rabies shots after he caught and killed a bat at the Spurs-Kings game last Saturday.

(One more time for the PETA kooks)

Team officials could not locate the bat after Saturday’s game against Sacramento, so it could not be tested for disease. Which meant Ginobili will spend the next month getting a series of precautionary shots to protect against rabies.

While we all wince, the PETA kooks are high-fiving over early-bird Veggie burgers on L.A.’s Westside.  Read more…

Just yesterday, we brought you video of Manu Ginobili killing a bat that had interrupted play in a Spurs game from this weekend. The very first commenter on the page wondered aloud, “Where’s PETA now?”, knowing full well their outraged reply would be hitting the Internets at any moment.

Lo and behold, here we are. Surprisingly, though, PETA had a reasoned, nuanced reaction that caused everybody to gain respect for their maturity in the field of animal ethics. In an op-ed posted at OPPOSINGVIEWS.COM, PETA released a statement acknowledging that the bat was causing a nuisance in an area where it never should have been in the first place, and that Ginobili’s actions, while unfortunately fatal, were a brief and expedient end to the situation.

Hahahaha, just kidding, they compared Manu to Michael Vick and basically pretended he was Satan.

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Video posted below from Manu Ginobili snatching a bat and killing it during Spurs-Kings game in S.A. last night:

Hadn’t noticed Bruce Bowen had retired until the team’s former master of the rabid punch wasn’t there to make the play. Read more…

So when last we left Richard Jefferson, he was explaining to everyone who would listen (re: Dan Patrick and Howard Stern on their radio shows) that he wasn’t such a cad. He said that he didn’t break up with fiance Kesha Ni’Cole Nichols by email, as was alleged; that he didn’t call off the wedding with only a couple hours’ notice; and in fact was giving her a big cash settlement for calling off the nuptials.

I guess that another radio blitz is in order, because the NEW YORK POST is saying that the cash deal is off, and that Jefferson has even banned Nichols from the Manhattan apartment they had shared, telling the doorman not to let her in to get her belongings. Read more…

So Richard Jefferson would like to dispel rumors that he left his prospective bride at the altar, calling off their July 11 wedding with only two hours’ notice. Oh, and he’s not gay. Seriously! The Spurs’ star appeared on Dan Patrick’s radio show on Wednesday to tell his side of the story, including how he broke it off with former New Jersey Nets dancer Kesha Ni’Cole Nichols via email. That’s one sensitive move right there. What, no Twitter?

And there was also a “six-figure” payoff to the jilted bride — another sweet, time-honored gesture. But Jefferson didn’t stop with Patrick. His radio blitz also included the Howard Stern show, because when you’ve just experienced the pain of breaking up with your fiance, the first person you should turn to is the wise and caring Howard Stern. Read more…

According to the world’s foremost relationship expert (THE INTERNET), major career-changing events can wreak havoc on one’s personal relationships. According to the Holmes-Rahe Stress Scale, a “business readjustment” is the 15th most stressful life event a person undergoes, tied with sexual difficulties and gaining a new family member. Combine a couple of stressful life events at once, and a person might just crack under all that stress.

With that in mind, it’s understandable that newly-acquired San Antonio Spur Richard Jefferson might be going through a bit of stress at the moment. He’s got a new job in a new city and until last weekend was planning on adding a new family member, fiancee (and former New Jersey Nets dancer) Kesha Ni’Cole Nichols. We can’t speak to any sexual difficulties on the part of Mr. Jefferson, but the rest must have been too much stress for Jefferson to handle, because he abruptly cancelled Saturday’s $2 million NYC wedding at the last minute…without bothering to tell anyone, including his wedding guests. Oops.

(More photos of the jilted bride after the jump.)

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• NBC puts a stop to Stanley Cup Finals viewings at the Joe Louis & Mellon Arenas - because it’s shaving nearly a point off of their local Nielsen ratings.

• Deadline? The Vikings never said anything about a Brett Favre deadline.

• Nice to see Ozzie Guillen back in ranting ‘n’ raving form.

• Don’t worry, Barry Bonds, at least your wife still supports you through these troubles times. Um, OK, maybe not.

• Oh boy! The MLB Draft is on TV tonight! It’s not like there’s anything else on worth watching.

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Fellas, take a powder or something; this post is for the ladies. Ladies who are young, athletic, and in the greater San Antonio area, to be precise. We good? Ladies, you with me? Excellent. Now, let’s get right to it: Would you like to be a Silver Dancer for the San Antonio Spurs?

(Looking good, looking good.)

Oh, you would? Fantastic! It’s all a very simple process, really. As RANDBALL mentions, all you have to do is agree to this unholy amount of time commitment and paperwork: Read more…

The NBA Finals kick off tonight, as the Los Angeles Lakers play host to the Orlando Magic. Of course, that really doesn’t matter for the other 28 teams whose seasons have already ended. But some players have found fun ways to spend their sooner-than-hoped offseasons. One popular choice appears to be hitting the beach with some scantily-clad cuties.

We earlier wrote how the Bulls’ Joakim Noah took to carousing in the Caribbean with a topless female companion. And now Tony Parker has taken a similar trip to his home country, as the Spurs star soaked up the sun on the French Riviera with his Desperate Housewife Eva Longoria.

Unfortunately, Eva appears to continually keep her top on. However, as you can see, there’s still plenty to peruse of Mrs. Longoria Parker:

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