Please Do Not Go Full-Frontal At Football Games

¬†There’s really no good way to go about telling people you’re a registered sex offender, is there? You can’t really joke your way out of “I whipped out my hog in a place it definitely should not have been and the courts think your children should be warned about me,” after all, and you’re not likely to find any kindred spirits.

Minnesota high school streakers
(Just so you know, that’s a guy. Adjust ogling strategy accordingly.)

One would think, then, that the logical course of action is to not do anything that would lead to “registered sex offender” status, especially something as egregious as exposing yourself to a minor. That’s totally out of the question, right? Well, normally, yes, but… you see, there are these football games, and it’s fun to go streaking at football games (or so we’re told, anyway)…¬† and how was anybody to know that minors under 16 would be at a high school football game, anyway?

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