Well, the bad news is that Ryan Perrilloux has been suspended for Jacksonville State’s opener Sept. 5. The good news is that now he has some extra time to step up his hunt for Osama bin Laden. Perrilloux, who was jettisoned from LSU due to reportedly failing a drug test (among other transgressions), has not straightened himself out to the satisfaction of his new team, it appears.

Perrilloux was suspended for the Gamecocks’ season-opener at Georgia Tech for “a violation of team rules in the spring,” head coach Jack Crowe said this morning. Just another chapter in the Perrilloux Story, the favorite chapter of which, for me, is when he thought he saw Osama bin Laden serving food at the Kona Grill in Baton Rouge. Read more…

LSU may have lost star QB & Osama bin Laden hunter Ryan Perrilloux, but the Tigers can take comfort by telling themselves (and everyone else) that they have the fastest college football player ever.

Brett Hait of the NASHVILLE CITY PAPER is quick to mention Trindon Holliday, junior wide receiver for the Bayou Bengals. And if you were to believe the Baton Rouge publicity machine, no one will be able to catch him:

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Former LSU QB Ryan Perrilloux has finally found a new home. The troubled ex-Tiger announced today that he’ll soon be playing for the Gamecocks.

Hold on, South Carolina fans - not those Gamecocks.

Mike Perrin of the BIRMINGHAM NEWS reports that Perrilloux will be signing with Jacksonville State. And just to add a little more confusion, the school is located in Alabama, not Florida, as one might assume.

But it doesn’t matter to Ryan where it is - since it’s Division 1-AA, he can play immediately next season. And he’s happy about the chance:

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Orange Julius Jones Soda - make it so, Seattle soft drink distributors!

• Arizona State is bedeviled by some snapshots of their cheerleaders showing off in their skivvies.

(Photo back by popular demand)

• Apparently, Marvin Harrison is not the calm, cool customer we thought he was.

• Jim Rice boils at Torii Hunter’s claims that Red Sox fans are racist.

• Kentucky basketball coach Billy Gillispie likes ‘em young.

• Joe Buck & Tim McCarver are taken for a ride by the Feds. Unfortunately, they brought McCarver back.

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The ASSOCIATED PRESS reports this afternoon that “LSU quarterback Ryan Perrilloux was kicked off the defending national championship team Friday after a college career marked by legal and disciplinary problems.”

EVERY DAY SHOULD BE SATURDAY reports that sources indicate Perrilloux, who has been in trouble with the law numerous times, failed a drug test (marijuana). The AP notes that Division I-AA schools are already lining up for the QB’s services (and presumably alerting the local police at the same time).

We think the whole thing is a complete charade, based on a paragraph slipped into the AP story. Read more…

President Bush will stand on the White House lawn Monday with the young man that has allegedly discovered “Osama”. However, if LSU Sports Information Director Michael Bonnette has his way, the President will never know and these two ships will pass in the night, never knowing that Bush could have closed his presidency on a high.

(There! In the crowd! Osama! Wearing Gator colors!)

Why does Michael Bonnette hate America? Apparently, he doesn’t believe that LSU QB Ryan Perrilloux entered a Kona Grill in Baton Rouge last Sunday with three employees of Crazy Horse Cabaret, plopped down at the bar, and loudly carried on with his group until he realized that his server looked just like Osama bin Laden.

Having spotted the most hated man in America, Perrilloux allegedly shouted “Osama” at the man in a vain attempt to save the country he loves. However, the “Osama”-loving manager eventually threw the four brave Americans out under threat of calling the police.

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• YARDBARKER is styling with Greg Oden, as the injured NBA rookie gabs with Jim Rome about his new ‘do:

• YOU BEEN BLINDED can’t wait to play “Grand Theft Auto: John Madden“.

• LAIST takes Tony Kornheiser to task for being such a bitch about bloggers.

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A hat tip to EDSBS originally, and expanded on further by the BATON ROUGE ADVOCATE: Louisiana State’s projected starting QB Ryan Perrilloux is taking another unexpected sabbatical from the Tigers for the third time in nine months.

Head coach and hat filler Les Miles is citing “a failure to follow team rules” as the reason for the QB’s indefinite suspension (usually translating to ditching classes or other things of that nature), but let’s just say there’s precedent for this not lasting too long.

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