Judge Laughs Off Giuliani Via Caddyshack Quotes

Andrew Giuliani’s absurd lawsuit against Duke University for kicking him off the golf team was just the latest frivolous litigation that ties up our courts and wastes taxpayer dollars. That’s what I thought, at least, until a district court judge told Li’l Giuliani to go play in the sand trap, with the greatest legal screed of our times.

Andrew Giuliani

(You’ll get nothing, and like it.)

I’d like to nominate Wallace W. Dixon for the Supreme Court, because his written opinion savages Giuliani’s case by way of some awesome golf puns and even quotes from Caddyshack. As Ty Webb would say, “Don’t sell yourself short, Judge, you’re a tremendous slouch.”

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Sources Reveal Andrew Giuliani Is An Entitled Bully

NEW YORK POST provides us with shocking revelations that Andrew Giuliani, son of former New York City mayor Rudy Giuliani who was kicked off the Duke men’s golf team, is a jerk. I did not see that one coming.

Andrew Giuliani

The report doesn’t exactly use the word “jerk” but it does have a source who says Giuliani is “an ‘entitled’ bully who ignored a code of conduct instituted by Duke’s golf coach and is now downplaying his bad behavior in a lawsuit.” The source also says, “there was a lot of bullying” and “he just kind of got a little pushy.” In not so many words, yeah the former mayor’s kid is kind of a jerk.

The source says the 22 year-old Andrew, who just a few days ago filed a suit against Duke claiming he was unfairly dismissed from the team back in February, clashed with Coach O.D. Vincent, who took over the team after Rod Myers’ death in March 2007.

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Baby Boss: Red Sox Nation “A Bunch Of Bullsh*t”

Baseball’s just starting, and Red Sox Nation already has reason to be riled up this year: Hank Steinbrenner thinks you’re all “a bunch of bullsh*t“.

Hank Steinbrenner Red Sox suck signature

SLIDING INTO HOME comes across a NEW YORK TIMES article that has an in-depth look at the new leaders of the New York Yankees - Hank & his brother Hal. (And we do mean in-depth - the story’s nine web pages long.)

Near the end of the piece, Hank decides to take a swing at the supporters of his hated division rival: Read more…

Cool Card Collectible: Rudy Rooting With Red Sox

We offer evidence of another pumped-up day in the world of sports:

• Topps shows what a bunch of cards they are by inserting Rudy Guiliani into the Red Sox’s World Series celebration:

Rudy Guiliani Red Sox Card

• HBO is cancelling “Inside The NFL”, denying us the chance to see more manic Marino tantrums.

Jeremy Shockey has better things to do than attend some silly Super Bowl parade.

Terrelle Pryor said he wouldn’t choose his school on Wednesday, but others are trying to make the choice for him.

Pedro Martinez & Juan Marichal do enjoy themselves a good cockfight:

Pedro Martinez cockfighing

(Pedro handling his cock before the big fight)

True to his word, Shaq doesn’t let Steve Nash down.

• Like the SEC gals and Big East boys, the Green Bay Packers experience their own teleconferencing fun.

• ESPN needs to hire a spellchecker for the “PTI” graphics guys.

Blog-A-Roni: Salisbury Calls Clayton “Cryptkeeper”

• Who says ESPN isn’t entertaining anymore (besides most sports fans)? WITH LEATHER digs up video of Sean Salisbury calling John ClaytonThe Cryptkeeper“.

(Real fun starts about 1:20 in)

• DC SPORTS BOG knows that behind every great defensive coordinator, there’s a wife cutting his hair and telling him to kick Tom Brady’s ass. (Wonder what Brady’s barber’s rebuttal would be?)

• Meanwhile, Brady’s Super Bowl loss must still really sting. After bowing out of the Pro Bowl, WAGGLE ROOM slices up news that the Pats QB is also pulling out of the Pebble Beach Pro-Am (and so is Bill Belichick & Bill Murray).

• Speaking of the Pats coach, Mike Bianchi of the ORLANDO SENTINEL wants to know who’s the biggest jerk in sports.

• DEADSPIN follows up on Will Leitch’s wild night in Lipstick City.

Will Leitch rockin' in L.A.

• DEUCE OF DAVENPORT finds these soccer players’ skills most impressive.

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Topps New Card Shows Rudy Enjoying Joy Of Sox

WBZ-TV in Boston has a report that shows the venerable Topps baseball card company knows its way around the public relations block.

Rudy Giuliani Red Sox

To drum up publicity for the company’s new MLB baseball card set, a card showing former New York mayor Rudy Giuliani celebrating the Red Sox World Series victory will be included in the set. Giuliani (in)famously claimed he rooted for the Red Sox will campaigning for president last year in New Hampshire.

The now-failed presidential candidate was photoshopped by Topps into an image of Boston’s on-field celebration after defeating the Rockies in the 2007 fall classic. The front and back of the card are after the jump.

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Rudy Guiliani Rooting For Red Sox In World Series Despite Being Yankee Fan

FIRST GOD, NOW RUDY SUDDENLY AGAINST THE ROCKIES: Slowly but surely, we’re realizing why former New York Mayor Rudy Guiliani has enjoyed a stellar political career and might be just be our next president.

Rudy Guiliani

The BOSTON GLOBE gives us another clue today, reporting that the Yankees #1 fan said today in Boston (while wearing a red tie) that he will be rooting for the Red Sox in the World Series against the Rockies.Rudy: “I’m rooting for the Red Sox. I am an American League fan. I am not just saying that because I am in Massachusetts.”

Genius, we tell you, because as all diehard Yankees fans know, the right thing to do in this situation is for them to root very, very hard for the Red Sox. Right. Sure. Uh-huh.