Answering a question no one asked (except SbB just now), a political polling firm has asked North Carolinians their general opinions of both Coach K and UNC coach Roy Williams. The question was similar to questions asked regarding opinions about potential political candidates. The results were a little surprising…in other words, how would you feel about Senators Williams and Krzyzewski?

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(Boo. Boo. Rubbish. Filth. Slime. Muck. Boring. Boo. Boo)

The fans that remained behind after Michigan State’s mildly unlikely ascent to the final game booed the Tar Heels as long as they could, but drowsiness eventually set in. The few remaining fans left in Ford Field by the end of the 83-69 snoozer did rouse long enough to boo throughout the post-game face time for Roy Williams and Tyler Hansborough.

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According to the ASSOCIATED PRESS, the inevitable fine against Cuban came down on Monday, and it landed with the resounding thud of $25,000. Considering the fact that Cuban’s rant was exactly 140 characters, Cuban was paying approximately $178.57 per letter for his screed against J.R. Smith. Not surprisingly, Cuban was none too happy about being lighter in the wallet, and he responded by questioning whether outlets - like, say, SPORTSbyBROOKS - has the right to re-publish his tweet, getting attention for it and, thus, earning him fines.

The answer, as pointed out by FANHOUSE, is a resounding “yes”. Because Cuban’s profile is set to public, we all get to read and re-publish his thoughts. That’s pretty much the definition of fair use. Yet the most interesting line of Cuban’s entire discussion with the FANHOUSE folks is his closing sentence:

@NBAFanHouse not close. I like to create discussion. makes things interesting

Yes, yes he does. At a cost of approximately $25G a pop.

Meanwhile, Celtics star Paul Pierce pulled off his best Shaquille O’Neal impersonation, giving away free tickets to Boston fans who showed up at his car and proffered up the pre-listed password (which, cornily enough, was “truth”). The first five jokers who have been stalking Twitter in their Paul Pierce 34 jerseys and jumped at the chance to meet him got the free seats, and web site BOSTONCS was there to chronicle the whole experience.

All of this got us thinking: Has Twitter officially jumped the shark? What started as a slightly clever way to send instant inside jokes became instantly cool when a few athletes re-discovered their inner dork, and it’s now gone so mainstream that mediocre stars need to imitate the big shots just to stay culturally relevant.

Add to that the mind screw that is Cuban doing anything — the eternal debate of whether he’s doing it because he thinks it’s cool, whether he’s doing it to manipulate the media and fans, whether he’s doing it for both reasons or whether we should even care because he’s such a tool — and maybe we’ve reached the point that we should all blow Twitter off indefinitely … or at least until Anna Kournikova shows up and starts describing what it’s like to get dressed in the morning.

Some news last night wasn’t quite fit to Tweet, because it hasn’t been completely wrapped up. As Jason first wrote last night, it sure looks like John Calipari is heading toward a long-distance commute from Memphis to Lexington, Ky.  Of course, we don’t know that’s true … yet, but there are plenty of reasons to believe the substantial rumors, one of which is this camera, which — as DEADSPIN first reported yesterday — is permanently trained on the door of Memphis’s Athletic Department.

In fact, the whole “Cal to Kentucky” bit is getting so much attention that, as Tuffy first coined in an email last night, you have believe the video alluded to in the ESPN.com screenshot below would lead to a camera trained directly on Calipari’s personal bedroom.

We’re betting it’s going to happen, and that it will happen sooner rather than later. And you know what? In the end, it’s a good thing for college basketball. After all, how great will it be to have Calipari and Rick Pitino facing off against each other in an annual turf war? And just think! This time it won’t just be about who can cheat to land recruits more effectively!

And just when you thought former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich’s pantomime villain routine couldn’t get any more obvious, it turns out he named a secret agreement to sell Wrigley Field to the state of Illinois — all in return for numerous tax breaks for former Cubs owner Sam Zell — after a throwaway joke in the Blues Brothers.

Blagojevich referred to the Wrigley Field negotiations as “Operation Elwood”, named in honor of Elwood Blues (also known as Dan Aykroyd), whose listed address on his driver’s license was Wrigley Field.

It’s yet another ridiculous chapter from a brazenly agressive civil tyrant, but then again, what do you expect from a guy who, just months after being impeached from office, is already guest hosting talk radio shows and hand picking the callers.

• Enough with real news, lets try to manufacture some that involves incredibly attractive people. Like Alyonka Larionov, who may or may not be dating either Alexander Ovechkin or Pavel Datsyuk. She’s also a budding viral video star, so maybe she’ll be dating someone else to keep her in the news soon, too.

• Jay Cutler still isn’t in camp, and now he may have to hitch a ride to get there. Why? Because his contract just got $100,000 lighter.
• Now we know why the Braves wouldn’t up their offer for Jake Peavy in the offseason: They wanted to save some of the money to extend Chipper Jones.
• What do Bob Knight, Rick Pitino, Roy Williams and Coach K all have in common? They’re Guitar Heroes. Every last one of them.

• Virginia picked the perfect man to be the school’s new men’s basketball coach: Tony Bennett. He can take really smart white guys and make them play like … really smart white guys! Except they win!
• The latest proof that Mike Leach is absolutely awesome: A one-man study session at the 50-yard-line … in the snow.
• Is Keith Jardine really one of the 100 ugliest men on the planet? Well, looking at that photo, yes, maybe he is.

• Just because we haven’t covered enough Twitter addiction today: USC Coach Pete Carroll’s ridiculous campaign to get buddy Will Farrell on Twitter reached new heights, including this self-produced video.

• This past weekend, Jenson Button won the first F1 event of the season, the Australian Grand Prix. We know, we know, why should you care? Because this woman — Jessica Michibata — is his girlfriend. Now you have a new reason to root for Jenson Button. And if you needed more reason, there’s this: He kept the press waiting for 15 minutes after his Aussie Grand Prix win to … have sex with Michibata. Clearly, he sticks to his priorities.

• Since when, exactly, did being the NASCAR champion make one qualified to be a character witness in the tax evasion trial of a fellow auto racer? Someone might want to explain that disconnect to Jimmy Johnson and Helio Castroneves.

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Sunday, Bay Hill stood in for Metropolis and Sean O’Hair pulled over the black bedazzled robes to take the Terence Stamp role to Tiger on Sunday, seemingly in control until he saw that red swoosh fill the camera.  At that point, O’Hair dropped from the Saturday leader to a Sunday round of 73 and Tiger dropped a 15-footer for the one-shot victory at 18.

In drama worthy of a Donner-esque cut of a better sequel, Tiger took his first title after last year’s knee surgery on a long putt at hole #72 just like he did last spring.  After the win, he met again with the namesake of the Arnold Palmer Invitational, who we think might be Perry White in this analogy.  Or Lois Lane.  This one may need some work still, unlike Tiger’s knee.

Want Tiger to show you how the heat vision works, Rick? No, you’re good?  Fair enough.

Sunday held little heat for the Final Four as Michigan State and North Carolina committed to a weekend in Detroit in April, otherwise known as “the best weekend of weather ever”.  No, really… just listen to every sportswriter go on about it next weekend, assuming they don’t spend the whole time in Windsor.

Neither game was particularly close, leaving casual sports fans hunting for Tiger or smaller game (as mentioned below).  Sadly, even Clark Kellogg’s stale “versatile like baking soda” line couldn’t get any vinegar for a volcanic explosion.

At least the ticket sales should improve with a state team available to attend.  Villanova and Connecticut will fill out the other two slots as we all spend all week polishing our convoluted plans to justify picking against a UConn-UNC final Monday night. (Oh, and is Roy Williams finally accepted at UNC? Just checking.)

A foreign country bordering the United States has such a horrific crime problem due to a drug war that it could affect their ability to host international tourists.  Of course, we’re talking about Canada.  Specifically, Vancouver’s inability to get decent amounts of cocaine has caused a gang war to break out, raising the murder rate dramatically.

The area has grown so desperate for warm bodies with badges that two officers that “smelled of alcohol and uttered racial slurs” while allegedly beating and robbing a newspaper delivery man in Vancouver won’t have to stand trial for a year because the police can’t spare a single person to be a witness at the trial during the 2010 Winter Olympics. (h/t RAINCOASTER)

After having to spend most of last summer listening to the incessant whining about the safety of the 2008 Beijing Games, we can’t help but notice the silence surrounding the 2010 Vancouver Games. We can’t quite put our finger on what could be different about the two countries.  Maybe journalists feel safe after watching a “Da Vinci’s Inquest” marathon?

In case you suspect we’re overstating the case, listen to a local activist: “I’m really apprehensive about going out in the evening.  We’ve turned into an American city.” Does that mean you’re not interested in two free Final Four tickets?

Speaking of a hail of bullets, duck even though you don’t feel threatened in your job by Todd Jones…

• Stephen Curry’s little brother, Seth, will transfer to Duke and be eligible for the 2010-2011 campaign.  Perhaps he just found the Teletubbies course syllabus on Liberty’s fall schedule.
• John Calipari and the University of Kentucky  have spotted each other from opposite ends of the dance and have started staring a little too long for it to be a coincidence.  Expect someone’s dress to be up over their heads in the parking lot by Tax Day.
• Hockey fans hold grudges for slightly less time than most holy wars.  For proof, please listen to the Boston Bruins announcer’s incredibly creepy laugh as he revels in a brutish blow to a Philadelphia Flyers’ player who wounded a Bruin two years past:

• Then enjoy a punch to a goalie followed by a tickle fight between the Chicago Blackhawks and Vancouver Canucks.  (Thanks to PUCK DADDY for both moving pictures.)  Seriously, hasn’t the NHL heard about shoulder-launched missiles? (Besides Ray Bourque’s shot, of course.)
• We’ve heard too much recently that NASCAR’s dull because the same few drivers keep winning.  Then we hear women’s tennis has grown old because the stars have stopped taking home the trophies.  Pick a story and stick with it.
• We’re actually starting to feel a little sorry for Tom Cruise:

• We’re with Ray Ratto: we’re not sure Oakland A’s owner Lew Wolff has a plan anymore for a new stadium.  He’s the Underpants Gnome of owners.  He knows “back up garbage trucks of taxpayer cash to my home” is Step 3, but he’s damned if he knows what Step 2 is anymore.
• Congratuations to Bemidji State for advancing to the Frozen Four in NCAA hockey.  We don’t have anything more to add; for that, please check out THE HOOVER STREET RAG.  We just always wanted to link to the BEMIDJI PIONEER.
• Finally, we know a referee that will be working the NBA Finals next in about 2024 after nearly injuring the future of the league by getting tangled underfoot of LeBron James:

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(DeRosa, proving that refs totally listen to you when you say you’re safe.)

As to whether we can glean too much joy from beating the tar out of a team from a country with a GDP that’s roughly the same as the state of Iowa? (By the way, you’ve got to click that link; I don’t know if Alabama’s or Texas’ corollary is funnier or more offensive to their residents.) Sure. For as meh a country as Venezuela is on the global stage, their lineup was filled with starting-caliber talent. The meat of the Venezuela order, consisting of Bobby Abreu, Miguel Cabrera, Magglio Ordonez, and Carlos Guillen, is downright All-Star quality. If only their pitching wasn’t garbage.

In college basketball, we now know five teams that’ll be losing in the first round of the tournament, plus North Carolina smacked Duke down for the ACC regular season title, 79-71. The men of the match were Tyler Hansborough, giving the Dean Dome 17 points in his last home game, and Ty Lawson, who was doubtful to play (oh, please) with a sprained toe but poured in 13, 9, and 8 in the win.

(Scheyer Face alert! Code red! This is not a drill!)

UNC’s now 6 for their last 7 against the Blue Devils, who were beaten for the second seed in the ACC tourney by Wake Forest. Suddenly, even a 2 seed in the NCAAs doesn’t seem so assured for Coach K’s charges. FIRE THE BUM!

As for hockey (or as they call it in Europe, “football”), we do need to commend Washington Capitals fans with a spirited, to say the least, attack on Sidney Crosby’s worth as a hockey player and as a man. The singular fatal flaw in their plan, however, was the fact that Crosby’s still one of the five best players in the NHL. As it turns out, Crosby made Washington pay dearly: one goal, one assist, and the clinching goal in the shootout to give Pittsburgh the 4-3 victory. But hey… nice work on the signs, fans.

(And you can’t spell “Penguin” without “P-U-N!” Wakka wakka wakka!)

As for Alex Ovechkin, the Caps’ superstar, he had a magnificent performance of his own. No, it won’t show up in the stat sheet… but it will show up on TV and YouTube, because it’s incredible. Courtesy of the DC SPORTS BOG:

Some links to consider while you recover from being run over by a bull…

• Rajon Rondo, out for 10 days. Now Celts fans will have to excoriate Memphis for not beating Boston by enough (?!).
• Speaking of the Celtics, do not expect any love from Paul Pierce if you show up in a Lebron jersey:

• Did you ever watch that “Real Housewives of Atlanta” show? No? Us neither. But apparently the one who’s the ex-wife former Atlanta Falcon Bob Whitfield’s being sued by Whitfield for about $87,000. Honest mistake on her part, we’re sure.
• The Toronto Maple Leafs GM, on whether the NHL will ban fighting: “I will personally challenge anyone who wants to get to rid of fighting to a fight.” Um, that’s a joke, right?
• Fat Ronaldo’s back from that horrific injury, and his first goal is a game-winner in injury time. Naturally, it comes replete with fans going completely ballistic and fences being torn down. Because hey, it’s soccer, and that’s just, y’know, what you do.

• It looks like it’s 5 more years for Boston hurler Jon Lester. Do we mean a contract extension… or life expectancy after his cancer returned? The world may never know! (It’s a contract extension, relax.)
• Stephen Curry gets to light up the NIT this year.
• ESPN, devaluing journalism one skeleton bone at a time. Poor Karl Ravech.
• According to (scarcely SFW) BUSTED COVERAGE, this Ohio State cheerleader supposedly runs a 4.4 40 and might make the football team. Hey, you know what’s more fun than playing football at Ohio State? Grabbing cheerleaders’ asses in front of those same 100,000+ people while the football players are the ones getting hit all the time. If only there were a way for him to do that instead…

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• Jim Fassel finally finds himself a football coaching job - if you count the UFL as a stable employer.

• Golfers & wait staff, beware! Tiger Woods is back & “better than ever“!

• Wonder where some of your taxpayer money is going? How about toward Santonio Holmes’ new $85,000 Cadillac Escalade?

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Today we catch UNC coach Roy Williams taking a hands-up approach:

Okay, so it wasn’t such a clever quip. Surely you can do better! Prove me wrong by submitting your suggestions into the comments section linked below. Winner will be announced in the end-of-the-day recap.

Good luck and good writing!

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(Only the latest receiver to dump on the coaches. We see a pattern.)

But the harshest words yet of this ongoing saga came on Friday from an unlikely source. Roy Williams, who had stayed largely out of the spotlight when the controversy was at full force. Speaking with ESPN 103.3 yesterday, Williams dropped several bombs on the coaching staff, but none was as harsh, as the DALLAS MORNING NEWS reports, as saying the Cowboys had “the easiest offense to figure out.”

He wasn’t done, not by a long shot. (more…)

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• The UNC b-ball team has a better record at Ford Field than the Lions do.

• What NFL venues are the most vegetarian-friendly? The list may surprise you.

• Andrew Bogut tries to bailout his hometown Aussie hoops team.

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Today we take a journey down Tobacco Road, where we encounter North Carolina b-ball coach Roy Williams exercising his First Amendment rights:

So, what’s the top Tar Heel tonsilating about? Submit your answers into the comments section linked below. Winner will get to see his or her name in boldface in the end-of-the-day recap.

Go head and toss in a few suggestions - Tyler Hansbrough really needs something to read on the bus ride back to Chapel Hill.

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