NBA players’ infallible ability to find the closest Cheesecake Factory in any city has been well-documented. However, it would appear no NBA player could make it all the way to that carb-loaded dinner without the second-most important meal of the day: bagels delivered by a rookie.
All over the league (even in areas not exactly noted for their bagel quality), rooks better bring the cream cheese and curved bread or else find their rides also carb-loaded. Do not mess with a tall man’s Everything bagel or else you’ll end up hiring Dontario Kane to find the culprits of car-based vandalism.
(Just a few more months, son… hang in there)
This isn’t the worst rookie hazing on record, by far. The SALT LAKE TRIBUNE points out some of the NBA’s great youth labor abuses over time: