Lakers Home Opener: Thoughts From Third Row

With the Artest sign and the KhlOdom debacle, I’ve never looked forward to a Lakers season so much.

Kim Kardashian putting makeup on Josh Powell's daughters after Lakers game

(One reason I find the Lakers so delightful. Obligatory Josh Powell wife pic.)

What will cause the Lakers a bigger distraction this season?

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Last night, thanks to a good friend, I was third row. Which means I was closer to the court than the Kardashians. Read more…

Solo Photo Of Natalin Avci From Ron Artest Shoot

Arash Markazi, who penned an epic piece recently in SPORTS ILLUSTRATED about Ron Artest, gives us another photo of Natalin Avci from Artest’s frightfully prescient photoshoot:

Natalin Avci Ron Artest Sports Illustrated Photos Pictures

And to think I was just about to leave the house, damn you Markazi!

Natalin Avci Sizzles On SI.com (Who’s Ron Artest?)

As we revealed last week, for the photo shoot on a SPORTS ILLUSTRATED article, we’ll all be treated to one of the choicest dimepieces the world’s ever seen. Also, next to her will be Ron Artest, who we’re told plays the “basket’s ball.” Never heard of him, really, and haven’t we already talked about him enough? Yes, we have, and let’s talk about Natalin Avci instead.

Ron Artest Natalin Acvi 2
(Ho. Lee. S**t.)

Natalin, as you’ve probably deduced, is the friendly young lady seated next to Artest (how’s that even pronounced? Like “artist,” or with the accent on the second syllable? Seriously, never heard of this guy ever).

Ron Artest Natalin Avci Sports Illustrated Photos

(Inset photo)

We can talk more about her in a little bit, but first five words you’ve been waiting for: More pics after the jump. You’re welcome.

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Ron Artest Books Own Hottie For SI Photo Shoot

Great find by our Adam Jacobi today on Twitter:

Ron Artest books his own SI photo shoot, replete with his own hottie

SI’s Arash Markazi posted a sneak of a photo shoot of Ron Artest as part of an upcoming piece he’s working on about the loco Laker. Best part: Artest set up the shoot, and booked the “model”! Markazi’s piece will drop on SI.com later this week.

Kids, the Lakers are going to fun this year.

RichRod Saw No Sucker Punch During Irish Game

• A Michigan player punched a Notre Dame opponent during last weekend’s game? Rich Rodriguez has no idea what you’re talking about.

Rich Rodriguez point

• Duke football players bedevil fans with their own shirtless poster.

• How did Lane Kiffin get to be the coaching genius that he is? By washing Reggie White’s car while his dad coached.

• Bills KR Leodis McKelvin decides not to press charges against the two teens who vandalized his yard after the Pats loss.

• Panthers WR Steve Smith loves teammate Jake Delhomme as a person, but hates him as a QB.

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Ron Artest Pumps Iron On Venice Beach w/Vixens

When we last checked up on Ron Artest, the latest Lakers star was hitting a Hong Kong amusement park with aspiring Chinese singer Shin Shin in tow, and adding his own amusement by reenacting his famous Malice In The Palace. Of course, in order to be able to pull off such moves on a moment’s notice, a man needs to stay in shape. So Ron Ron took a trip to Venice Beach to lift a a few weights.

Ron Artest Venice Beach

And just to play it safe, he was accompanied by three scantily-clad spotters. He was also joined by this spandex-sporting lass on the next bench over:

Venice Beach exercise woman

She was probably was there for additional moral support. Anyway, video of Ron’s full workout after the jump.

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Want To Talk With Ron Artest? Pick Up The Phone

Whether you love it or hate it, 2009 is going to go down in history as the year social media busted out into the mainstream. It’s taken everyone by storm, but for pro athletes especially it’s a way to “keep it real” with fans in real time while still keeping them at a safe distance. Shaq may have started the craze, but it’s been people like Stephon Marbury and Ron Artest that have taken social media to new extremes.

Ron Artest iPhone China

And while Starbury has used it mostly to show the world how insane he is, Artest has embraced the opportunity to show his less-punchy side to the world. Just last week he was setting the story straight regarding his role in The Brawl, but he was only getting warmed up. Not content to interact with his fans a mere 140 characters at a time, Artest spent his latest video blogs talking directly to his fans, via telephone, from China, after he Tweeted out his actual cellphone number. Your move, Shaq.

(Video and more after the jump.)

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Ines Sainz Makes Watching Sports Much More Fun

Ines Sainz of TV Azteca: A sports reporter we can all get behind.

Ines Sainz

Phil Jackson makes Jonah Hill feel super bad during game: “Next time you move around during a play, I’ll kick you the f*** out of here!”

Ron Artest reenacts the Malice In The Palace for aspiring Chinese pop star Shin Shin. How nice nice of Ron Ron.

• British soccer club asks US firm to find a buyer for their team. Firm decides the best action is to sell the team by way of eBay.

Manny Ramirez & David Ortiz are among those named as testing positive for PEDs in 2003.

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Ron Artest Re-Enacts Brawl For Chinese Pop Star

There are only a handful of events in sports that can be unmistakably described in two short words. The Shot. The Play. And, of course, The Brawl. Ron Artest could retire from the NBA today, devote his life to spreading democracy in the Middle East or saving endangered baby butterflies in Tibet, and he’d still be best remembered for the events of November 19, 2004 (NEVAR FORGET).  David Stern would never admit it, but The Brawl has gone down in history as one of the NBA’s most unforgettable moments.

Ron Artest Shin Shin Hong Kong

(Pic courtesy Ron Artest’s Twitter)

And while it probably shouldn’t come as a surprise to hear that The Brawl’s notoriety has spread worldwide, it was still amusing to see Hong Kong pop singer Shin Shin asking Artest about it. What was very surprising, however, was Artest suddenly deciding to re-enact the whole damn thing, on camera, in front of an amusement park…in Hong Kong. Take it away, Tru Warier.

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Speed Read: Pics Of Gatti’s Wife, Murder Weapons

We mentioned this weekend that former champion boxer Arturo Gatti’s wife Amanda Rodrigues was being held in connection with his death while the couple were on a second honeymoon. While it’s up to Brazilian prosecutors to file the actual murder charges, the police seem pretty sure that Rodrigues is guilty - sure enough to declare that it “technically impossible” for someone else to have been in the room when Gatti was killed, and as YOU BEEN BLINDED has visual evidence of, showcase the bloody strap and knife they say Rodrigues used to kill her husband.

Amanda Rodrigues

We’re also learning more about Rodrigues, like the fact that she’s a 23-year-old former stripper - in fact, they met at an “exotic” club in Brazil. (And I don’t want to know how “exotic” things can get in a Brazilian strip club - I just hope that jaguars aren’t involved.) And she had received a restraining order against him earlier this year that required him to stay 200 meters away from her and quit drinking.

Needless to say, while this is a tragedy, perhaps it’s not a shock. After all, Gatti’s sister is claiming that Rodrigues had planned to murder him and was only in it for the money. Meanwhile, Rodrigues’ lawyers are apparently going to claim that she is “too skinny” to have strangled Gatti to death. Which would make sense if they claim he was conscious when this happened, not passed out after a night of drinking (and possibly getting stabbed in the back of the head).

In less messy and horrific news, you may think the Home Run Derby is at best a pointless exhibition that tarnishes baseball by reducing it to its basest level (MASH BALL HARD) while ignoring the subtleties the make the game so enjoyable. You many even possibly consider it a major factor in the rise of the Steroid Era. Or, you might just enjoy seeing some of the game’s biggest names blast the living bejeezus out of the ball while drinking enough to ignore the infernal booth combo that is Chris Berman and Steve Phillips.

Prince Fielder

While last night’s edition at Busch Stadium didn’t have the transcendent moments of, say, Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa hitting rubber baseballs with Flubber cores out of Fenway Park, or Josh Hamilton hitting 500 home runs in one round, it was entertaining enough. And while the hometown crowd might have been disappointed with their hero Albert Pujols bowing out in the semifinals, they seemed to enjoy the show that Prince Fielder put on in winning the event.

Maybe the newly vegetarian Fielder was following Pujols’ lead from when the Cardinals slugger blew out the “i” in the “Big Mac Land” sign in the Busch Stadium outfield deck earlier this season - with his goal to bring the whole sign down to punish McDonald’s for their carnivore ways. No matter what the reason, Fielder had enough in the tank to hold off Nelson Cruz (again, I said “some” of the game’s biggest names) in the finals after bombing an event-best 503-foot blast in the semis.

And then there was poor Brandon Inge, who had been so excited to be a part of the Home Run Derby that he said it was bigger than actually making his first All-Star team. I’m guessing he didn’t feel the same way after becoming the first batter since Jason Bay in 2005 to take a donut in the first round - or as my friends used to call it, “Posting a Piazza” (named after Mike Piazza, who went 0-for-his career with blanks in 1993 and 1994).

Meanwhile, the Los Angeles Clippers might be ready to make a move that could either turn them into playoff contenders or…OK, let’s be honest, it’s not possible to ruin the Clippers, so what harm could come from Allen Iverson joining the team? Marcus Camby played with A.I. in Denver, and he’s on board with the idea, with PRO BASKETBALL NEWS saying that he’s willing to help recruit Iverson to the team. Even Eric Gordon is OK with it, even if that means losing playing time in a backcourt with Iverson and Baron Davis.

Allen Iverson

The one person not too hip on Allen Iverson right now in Los Angeles seems to be Ron Artest, whose opinion doesn’t matter too much since he’s now playing for the Lakers. Plus, he’s totally nuts. But his Tweet that Iverson is “missing more shots than Muhammad Ali with a sniper rifle” is pretty damned good.

Still, Iverson could provide the veteran leadership and role model that Blake Griffin could use as he establishes himself in the NBA - and he might be a force, based on his NBA Summer League debut of 27 points and 12 rebounds versus the Lakers yesterday. Except for that whole “practice” thing.

More sports news as you ponder if the Tour of Germany will get more interest now that a German brothel is offering discounts for bicyclists:

  • Have you seen Terrell Owens’ ad for his reality show where he’s “artfully” posing nude? EXAMINER.COM has, and it’s “tastefully” making me want to be sick.
  • Nude Terrell Owens

  • Hey kids, want to spend money to get football lessons from Andre Rison? After all, he told the ALTOONA MIRROR that he’ll spend the second day showing you his highlights so he can “really let them know, in my eyes, I was the best to ever play the game.” And parents, if you think Andre Rison is a good role model, I’m coming to your house with Child Protective Services.
  • As usual, more chaos coming from the Oakland Raiders: PRO FOOTBALL TALK reports that they’ve cut sixth-round draft pick Stryker Sulak before even signing him to a contract, which a league source says he’s “never seen happen before.” Meanwhile, Raiders blog JUST BLOG BABY thinks that PFT is making a big deal out of nothing.
  • I didn’t mention the Celebrity Softball game that was part of the MLB All-Star festivities. I’ll just show you the final out, where Ashanti managed to make the type of play to end the game that makes coed softball a nightmare for most guys. She should consider herself lucky that Bob Knight didn’t piledrive her at first:

  • David Beckham swears that his spat with Landon Donovan is a thing of the past as Golden Balls returns to practice with the Los Angeles Galaxy. In related news, Landon Donovan was found dead in his Home Depot Center dressing room, with a six-inch stilleto heel in his eyeball as Victoria Beckham was seen leaving.
  • The Chicago Blackhawks want to thank GM Dale Tallon for putting together a team that got to the Western Conference finals this season - by giving him a severance check and making sure the door doesn’t hit his butt on the way out the door. Reports says that assistant GM Stan Bowman will replace him.
  • USA TODAY says that the NFL could lead the fight to stop Delaware from legalizing sports gambling. Looks like Dover’s shot at getting an expansion team just went out the window.
  • Former Tennessee Titans player and HS football coach Reed Diehl has pleaded guilty to defrauding nine people of more than $5 million in a fradulent loan program scam.
  • If anyone is interested in an 34-year-old quarterback who was never really that great in his prime, please call Brian Griese - he’s available after being cut by the Bucs.
  • Former MLBer Billy Koch has been arrested after a 2 a.m. altercation with his next-door neighbor. The ironic part? The neighbor had grabbed a baseball bat in an unsuccessful attempt to defend himself.

Which division-leading team at the All-Star break won’t make the playoffs?

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