Roger Goodell probably didn’t expect The Spanish Inquisition when he went to The Hill on Wednesday for a hearing entitled “Legal Issues Relating to Football Head Injuries.” But that’s what he got, courtesy of Steve King of Iowa (R-Nuts), who used it as an opportunity to grill Goodell on his opposition to Rush Limbaugh as a part-owner of the Rams.

But when the dust had settled from King’s attack, it was time for Rush himself to comment on the proceedings via his radio show. And that’s when the conservative talk host did a most remarkable thing: He took a page from the Barack Obama playbook. What? Has Rush Limbaugh become a liberal softy? See the quote and judge for yourself. Read more…

Thanks to a rebuke of Rush Limbaugh by NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell and Colts Owner Jim Irsay this week, the talk radio host was dropped from a group bidding to buy the Rams today. Cited as basis for the rebuke was Limbaugh’s past “divisive” comments. Though the subject of those “divisive” comments went unclarified by Goodell. Though Limbaugh as a racist was the operative translation.

(Rush vanquished by NFL Owners as Jay-Z welcomed by NBA Owners)

Now that Limbaugh’s personal bid has been reduced to tatters, onto other matters of import. From Jason Whitlock of FoxSports.com this week:

I’d say we’re less than 24 hours from Limbaugh playing the Jay-Z card. Brother Jay owns a piece of the New Jersey Nets and has a library of rap tunes spewing the same kind of black-degrading lyrics, phrases and stereotypes that have made Limbaugh rich enough to buy a chunk of the St. Louis Rams.

Then there’s rapper Nelly, who holds a minority interest in the NBA’s Charlotte Bobcats while happening upon a similar propensity for the debasement of women and black culture.

So how is it that two men responsible for such prolific dissemination of detestables have been unanimously affirmed as owners of major league pro sports teams, but Limbaugh was cast out from his mere attempt to join an NFL ownership group?

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Last week, skeletal billionaire Jerry Jones made a curious comment in his capacity as Dallas Cowboys owner when he told reporters that revenue sharing - a staple of the NFL’s monetary structure and a key factor in the “parity” that generally defines the league from year to year - was “on its way out.” That would be good news to not many owners, only the richest - and one of them is most certainly Mr. Jones.

One tiny problem, though, and that’s the fact that Roger Goodell had earlier issued a gag order on the owners to keep them from publicly commenting on pending labor issues.  It’s hard to break that rule more blatantly and clearly than how Jones just did, and that’s why the commissioner just issued Jones a fine that’s probably larger than your yearly salary.

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The NFL and social media have been on a collision course for months. In one corner, you’ve got players like Chad Ochocinco that have spent the offseason connecting with and entertaining their fans, hoping to shed some light on their lives and perhaps add a little cachet to their marketability.

In the other corner, you have Roger Goodell, who has decreed that Tweeting from games is an evil sin that may help gamblers, even though gambling on sports doesn’t exist nope no way never (even if he didn’t say that, that’s what it comes down to). Today, the battle of fun vs. authority begins. Who’s winning?

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• Threesomes, nudity, threatening to have sex with others - this Shawne Merriman-Tila Tequila story just keeps getting better & better!

• But sleeping around isn’t always so much fun - especially when it’s leading to the divorce of Melanie Oudin’s parents.

• The Dallas Cowboys are the hottest ticket in the NFL this year. It’s so hot, it’ll burn a $800-per-game hole in your wallet.

• Bode Miller wants to start his very own winery. Bottoms up!

• Ex-NFL lineman Orlando Brown breaks into his ex-wife’s house & trashes the place - but not before leaving a little present in her toilet.

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Doubtless, you’ve heard about the perils facing the Jacksonville Jaguars and other teams who have failed so miserably in their ticket sales for the 2009 season that they’re facing a season-long blackout. Well, nobody really wants that - fans want to be able to see their local team, of course, and franchises would obviously love to sell out by any means necessary. But that’s not the road several teams are on, so here comes the misery.

(”This touchdown was yesterday!”)

Not so fast, though, says the NFL; they’re willing to provide the games for free viewing after all, what with this lousy economy and all. There’s just one teeny tiny little detail that we’re sure nobody’s going to have a problem with; these games won’t exactly be, y’know, live.

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Scene: a lavish, stately office. Pictures of old players and other assorted football memorabilia adorn the walls and shelves. A sharply-dressed man sits at a chair near his desk, smiling.

Man: Hello, folks. Welcome to my office. I’m NFL commissioner Roger Goodell, and I’d like to help you see what goes on in my day to day operations. I get a bad rap as a disciplinarian sometimes, but I don’t want some caricature to be the only side of myself that people get to see. So let me take you on a tour of my day to day business.

(”This microphone? Pay it no mind. This is all normal.”)

As you’ll see, this is my office, and–ah! Here’s my favorite picture. This is Elroy “Crazy Legs” Hirsch. One of the league’s very first superstars. Heck of a guy, too. (The phone rings.) Ah, my first phone call of the day. I’m sure it’s nothing; most of my calls actually are. Let me scoop that up. Yes, this is Mr. Goodell. Oh, hello. Yes, I’m just filming a documentary about a usual day, so I’m free for visitors. Okay, send him on in. Wait, Secretary, I forgot to ask–Secretary? Hello? I guess she hung up. Oh well, no matter. Let’s keep going.

Say, do you hear something rumbling? Read more…

• Novak Djokovic delights the Monday night US Open crowd with his manic impression of John McEnroe - only to have Mac come down & reclaim his honor in an impromptu tennis match.

• A Kansas community is burned by the cold-hearted hazing of a high school football player slathered in Icy Hot.

• Kentucky fans are fuming at John Calipari because their coach dared send a Wildcats jersey to President Obama.

• A whole lotta football kicked off this weekend - even the lingerie variety.

• Ex-Notre Dame QB Blair Kiel is arrested after going on a drunken warpath at an Indianapolis Indians minor league game.

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Roger Goodell deserves credit for one thing: he’s not afraid to push anybody around. In his short tenure as Commissioner, he’s already made examples of Chris Henry, Pacman Jones, and Chad Ochocinco as targets of heavy punishment, and doubtless there are plenty of NFL players more carefully toeing the party line for it.

(How can you not want this back?! The London Monarchs were incredible!)

What he hasn’t done as much, though, is go after the underperforming franchises in the league. That seems likely to change, though, considering the slumping monetary performance of so many teams and the resultant threats of blackout and relocation.

But threatening to put a team in London? Soon? Yikes.

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After two years in the joint, a lengthy suspension, and every other bit of trouble that’s nipped at his ankles until he electrocuted them - what, too soon? - it looks like Michael Vick’s path to relevance is clear.

We mentioned earlier today that Vick and Roger Goodell were meeting about his eligibility for the upcoming season; speculation ran to the point that we thought Vick might be ready to rock for the season opener. But as Goodell just announced to Peter King and other, slightly less sycophantic reporters, he decided to grant full reinstatement to Vick for the Eagles’ week 3 game against Kansas City. It’s a substantial step up from the Week 6 ceiling Goodell had earlier set, but perhaps that’s the point; let him think he’s in for a month, and two week’s going to seem downright lenient.

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