Roger Clemens must have been disappointed to learn this week that his defamation lawsuit against Brian McNamee was thrown out. But Brian can be assured that this isn’t the last he’s heard from the Rocket. Clemens’ lawyer Rusty Hardin is already appealing to revive Roger’s lawsuit.
More importantly, Clemens has found a new outlet for his frustrations with his former trainer - the one & only Twitter. Welcome to the 21st century, Rog!
When you give someone $25 million to build golf resorts, you might be a bit miffed when they use your dough to host parties with porn stars. And for an even bigger slap in the face, they don’t even invite you.
But that’s just what 19 current and former NHL players are alleging against golf course developer Ken Jowdy. The hockey players are suing Jowdy to get back the $25 million they invested in two luxury golf resorts in Mexico that have yet to be built, plus $15 million more in additional damages. The lawsuits claim that Jowdy put their putting money towards prostitutes for “lavish parties”. And check out out who was on the invite list.
For the past year, retired dushbagRoger Clemens has been lying low out of the public eye since testifying before Congress on his alleged use of magical performance-enhancing potions. The popular theory was that Clemens was hunkering down with his legal team in preparation of a legal battle with…well, any number of people, really. Mindy McCready? Brian McNamee? All of the above?
Well, with the publication of a new book linking Clemens to ‘roids, the Rocket decided now was the time to set the record straight once and for all in an email interview with HOUSTONIST.COM. Oh, did I just say “set the record straight?” Sorry. I meant, “continue being the raging dushbag he’s always been.”
It’s been said that either Manny Ramirez is incredibly dumb, or incredibly good at playing dumb, and his response to his 50-game suspension for violating MLB’s Joint Drug Prevention and Treatment Program gives proponents of either theory plenty of fuel for the fire. On one hand, claiming that a doctor gave him medicine for a “personal problem” seems like a flimsy attempt to use ignorance to cover up cheating, especially since the drug in question (hCG) is primarily used as a fertility treatment for women.
But what the “personal problem” really was personal - like he was trying to get pregnant? Maybe he saw that Arnold Schwarzenegger movie “Junior” on a plane flight and thought that sounded like a great idea. I mean, come on: Manny’s so crazy, he doesn’t even know that men can’t conceive. That’s just Manny being Manny.
(The only thing inconceivable is Manny Ramirez’s story.)
Are you buying it? Me either. As the news spread throughout the baseball world, the most shocking aspect is just how not shocked anyone who wasn’t a Dodger fan was about it. His former teammates with the Boston Red Sox seemed to be more upset that they have to talk about Manny Ramirez again than anything else, with closer Jonathan Papelbon summing up most player’s thoughts:
“I just walked in the clubhouse today and found out about it. I haven’t really thought about it all. We’ve got more things to worry about on our club. Obviously, it’s a news story, blah, blah, blah. There’s so many more things we have to go get ready for. He’s not in our clubhouse anymore, so this is something that we’re not even worried about.”
So how did the Dodgers react on the field without their leader? In a word: shaky. Oh, it started out good, jumping out a 6-0 first inning lead on the dreadful Washington Nationals. But then it all fell apart, although this had nothing to do with Ramirez’s absence.
Meanwhile, back to Ramirez’s former team again … actually, let’s look at both of them, since his original team (the Cleveland Indians) just happened to be visiting his most recent team (the Red Sox) on Thursday night. And while it might be tacky after the events of yesterday to says that Boston’s offense was on steroids, it’s safe to say that they were at least jacked up on a six-pack of Jolt colas.
The Red Sox matched a major league record by scoring 12 runs in the sixth inning while drubbing the Indians 13-3. At least we can be sure that Jason Bay isn’t juicing, unless he tests positive for having too much maple syrup in his blood.
And speaking of blowouts, let’s take a moment to congratulate the Atlanta Hawks for making it to the second round of the Eastern Conference playoffs as they collect their parting gifts and head to the exits. Sure, they are only down 2-0 to the Cleveland Cavaliers, and they are returning home.
But anyone who saw just a few minutes of Cleveland’s 105-85 thrashing of the Hawks knows that this series has all the makings of a sweep. Cleveland lead by as many as 36 before calling off the dogs, and LeBron James was just toying with defenders. And oh yeah, Joe Johnson sprained his ankle and might be out for the series. Have fun at the golf course, Atlanta!
The Players Championship teed off in Florida yesterday, and of course Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson share the lead. Actually, that’s a lie: the FLORIDA TIMES-UNION says that while Ben Craneleads after an opening-round 65, Woods dealt with a balky putter while shooting a 71 and Mickelson was all over the place while putting up a 73.
But if Tiger feels like he needs any help, he can call on Lee Trevino, as the DALLAS MORNING NEWS says that “Super Mex” has offered to teach him a power fade that will make sure that “he doesn’t lose any tournament.” At the least, he would like him to try an authentic salsa from Texas versus a competitor made in … NEW YORK CITY?!?
And as hockey attempts to shine on the ice, it continues to stumble elsewhere, as the TORONTO GLOBE AND MAIL says that a group of investors trying to buy the failing Phoenix Coyotes and move them to Hamilton, Ontario are accusing the NHL and Commissioner Gary Bettman of “operating like an illegal cartel” in blocking the sale and move. Kind of like a more stupid version of the Mafia.
As the baseball world was reacting to Manny Ramirez’s suspension, the EAST VALLEY TRIBUNE says the Arizona Diamondbacks took the opportunity to relieve manager Bob Melvin of his duties while no one was looking. He’s being replaced by former major league catcher A.J. Hinch, because that’s apparently the only people who can manage the Diamondbacks.
The WASHINGTON POST says there was plenty of hot disciplinary action in the NBA, as the Magic’s Rafer Alston received a one-game suspension for his head-slap on the Celtics’ Eddie House, while the Lakers’ Derek Fisher received the game punishment for his cross-check of the Rockets’ Luis Scola. There were no suspensions given to Kobe Bryant, Ron Artest or any pieces of furniture.
It wasn’t just Didier Drogba who was upset with Norwegian referee Tom Henning Ovrebo for several calls that didn’t go Chelsea’s way in the 1-1 tie with Barcelona that knocked them out of the Champions League semifinals. EUROSPORT says the ref had to be “smuggled” out of the country under police escort.
A football player at Chico High in Texas has been arrested for assaulting a 13-year-old girl in what WFAA-TV is referring to as a “sex game” gone horribly wrong, involving freshman girls “sexting” the popular football players to gain popularity.
Three months ago I wrote that since Alex Rodriguez was found to have used steroids, the baseball Hall of Fame was eventually going to have to let in anyone who had the numbers to warrant induction. That included guys like Mark McGwire, who if not for the pall cast over his career by steroid-use suspicion, would already be in Cooperstown. Not to mention Roger Clemens and Barry Bonds, who may soon be unequivocally found to have used PEDs throughout their careers.
(OK, a little over-the-top)
Guys like Bud Selig, Bob Costas,dozens of holier-than-thou baseball writers, and plenty of other dinosaur media members though have continued to intimate with their words and deeds that confirmed (and suspected) steroid users should not be afforded the honor of entering the Hall.
You won’t hear any of those hypocritical media members backtracking about the Hall of Fame today. Not yet. But I can guarantee you that the Ramirez revelation, regardless of his claims of innocence, will have an impact going forward on who is seriously considered for the Hall of Fame.
It has to, ‘else you might as well furlough HOF workers for the next decade or two.
One thing I never understood is why Cito Gaston couldn’t find another managing gig after leaving the Toronto Blue Jays in 1997. After all, he lead the team to four AL East pennants and back-to-back World Series wins. So it seemed strange that as teams recycled mediocre manager after mediocre manager, he had to wait until the Blue Jays rehired him during last season to get another shot.
But while I might have a lot of respect for Gaston, apparently Roger Clemens didn’t. The new book “The Rocket That Fell To Earth” details how Clemens basically threw Gaston under the bus and convinced the Blue Jays to hire Tim Johnson to replace him (and we all know how well that went). And the feeling is apparently mutual, as Gaston used some choice words to describe to the TORONTO STAR exactly how he felt about Clemens:
You have to hand it to the Cameron Crazies. Not so much for dressing a student as Beaker from “The Muppet Show” to point out the resemblance with North Carolina star Tyler Hansbrough. Frankly, this is old news. But having said Duke student/Muppet wear a T-shirt that says “D League,” as the CHARLOTTE OBSERVER noted. That’s classic - even North Carolina players were laughing over that one.
But then again, it was the Tar Heels and Hansbrough who had the last laugh again, as North Carolina pulled away in the second half to take down the Blue Devils 101-87 at Cameron Indoor Stadium. Which made Hansbrough and senior teammate Danny Green the only two players to play in four straight victories at Duke since Mike Krzyzewski took over as the Blue Devils’ coach.
The spark for North Carolina was Ty Lawson, who scored 21 points in the second half to help the Tar Heels rally from an eight-point halftime deficit. (Good thing there is nothing the Duke fans could have given him grief about.) But as usual, the story was Hansbrough, whether he was hitting key three-pointers, getting compared to a Muppet, or getting cracked in the jaw by a Kyle Singler elbow:
You have to love the crackerjack ESPN crew of Mike Patrick and Dick Vitale totally missing the elbow. But at least Vitale - once he noticed what was happening - actually admitted that a Duke player did a bad, bad thing. Unlike Billy Packer, who probably would have chided Hansbrough for ramming into Singler’s elbow with his face.
And what’s the best way to celebrate a big win if you’re a North Carolina student? Why, burning a Christmas tree, of course. Take that, Christmas! (Why they still had a tree in February is another question.):
Speaking of Christmas…it’s time to give you the gift that keeps on giving: Brett Favre is finally gone. After the Jets’ meltdown to end the season, it was obvious what was going to happen, but it’s official: he’s filed his retirement paperwork with the league and is apparently done. No teary press conferences, no 24/7 ESPN media watch, just an old man making sure, as the NEW YORK DAILY NEWS reports, he gets his severance pay like an auto worker reaching retirement age.
So our national nightmare is over. Unless Favre goes online and reads stories like those from Dan Pompei of the CHICAGO TRIBUNE, who immediately wrote a column that suggested Favre could still “lead certain teams to the Super Bowl.“ Certain teams meaning “Minnesota Vikings.” For God’s sake, Pompei, let’s not give him any ideas - this is like Edward R. Murrow going on the radio and suggesting that Joseph McCarthy should try exposing gay in the military instead of Communists.
Other sports stories that happened last night as you regretted eating peanut butter and peanut sandwiches for dinner (with peanut brittle for dessert):
CNBC says that jewelry maker Robindira Unsworth received a surprise when one of her creations wound up dangling from the neck of Bar Refaelion the cover of the SI Swimsuit Issue. Which makes me wonder: has anyone even noticed her necklace while looking at the cover? Perhaps boyfriend Leonard DiCaprio bought it for her, a nice gift - as the LA TIMES says some people think the SI cover was.
Remember the testing program Lance Armstrong was going to undertake during his comeback to prove that he was free of performing-enhancing drugs? What a shock - it’s been scrapped, as KCRA-TV reports that he now claims that it’s too expensive and complex to pull off this year. I guess getting rid of Favre is all we could ask for.
Just what the already-volatile Dallas Cowboys’ locker room needs: Ray Lewis. The DALLAS MORNING NEWS reports that Terrell Owens has been making phone calls trying to recruit the Ravens’ linebacker/non-murder to play for Dallas this season.
Former Congressman Tom Davis tells NBCSPORTS.COM that it’s time to “cut your losses,” and that you can expect charges against Roger Clemens for lying under oath soon.
A woman in Fresno put up her old baseball card on eBay for $10, but decided to pull the item after receiving way too many e-mails asking if it was real. It turns out that the 1869 Cincinnati Red Stockings card was real, and worth a lot more than she thought: the AP says she sold it yesterday for almost $65,000.
Speaking of eBay, IDIOTS ON SPORTS found this beauty up for sale on the auction site, although I doubt it’s worth $65,000:
The WACO TRIBUNE reports that Baylor football recruit Willie Jefferson was arrested 10 days before signing his letter of intent and charged with marijuana possession after cops found a “small bag of marijuana, a marijuana cigarette and several cigars in a cavity on the floorboard of the vehicle” Jefferson was driving. This is why you don’t by a used car from Tommy Chong.
See, Sirius XM isn’t going bankrupt. If it was, why would they be flying Chris Russo out first-class to spring training- twice! - as he told Howard Stern yesterday. Just like there’s no way the banks could be going under if they can still afford to fly their executives out to expensive resorts for annual meetings.
I’ve enacted an embargo on all sports media, thanks to Alex Rodriguez’s PEDs admission today. I can’t take anymore talk of how this will affect ARod’s reception by fans and his off-field endorsement career. I could give a damn how Rodriguez is treated by fans or how much off-field money he’ll make in the future.
(Guess those Horse ‘Roids Nomah scored in TJ didn’t do the job)
How is the media missing the only thing that matters in the aftermath of ARod getting nailed to the floorboards? Or am I giving them too much credit?
The main thing that’s been so frustrating in this whole steroids production over the past few years is the lack of a smoking gun. And after all these years of waiting, how ironic is it that the most direct evidence yet produced against Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens is in the news on the very same day?
The NEW YORK TIMES is reporting that a Bonds urine sample that was submitted in 2003 did not initially test positive, but did on a subsequent retest. Meanwhile, the WASHINGTON POST reported today that the syringes Brian McNamee kept around for several years do contain Clemens’ DNA.
So who’s going down first (and how quickly can you sell all those Bonds and Clemens baseball cards you’ve kept all these years)?
OK, it was a record for the modern MSG. But regardless of what era of monosodiumglutenate you’re referencing, 61 points is a doozie of a game. The amazing thing is that Bynum’s absence is almost certainly what pushed Bryant over the top. Even Dwayne Wade, watching the mamba’s highlights from Miami’s own Monday night victory (where D-Wade dropped 32 points himself) said you could tell that Bryant was on a very specific mission: He was going to dominate, come hell or high water.
“I’ve never had a night like that,” said Heat guard Dwayne Wade who scored 32 in Miami’s win over the Los Angeles Clippers on Monday night. “You could tell, just watching the highlights, he had a pep in his step and he was on a mission. With Bynum out, he’s going to have to do a little more, and I think he understands that. I mean, 61 points, that’s Kobe — that’s all you can say.”
Oh, and nearby Michael Beasley’s response? “Kobe scored 61?” he asked. “You serious?”
Yes, we’re serious, and the rest of the NBA better be, too, if Bryant keeps this crusade alive for the remainder of Bynum’s absence.
Of course, all the basketball news wasn’t limited to the NBA. Not when Bob Knight’s name is back being bantered about. In the latest installment of the rumor that will not die, Knight is still very interested in becoming the next head coach of the Georgia Bulldogs. No one knows if Georgia is interested in him, and at least one Georgia player has already come out with an absolutely tremendous comment about being coached up by Knight, as we pointed out earlier today.
“I’d like to play for Coach Knight — as long as he doesn’t hit me,” freshman forward Trey Thompkins said.
Trey Thompkins, may we be the first to say that you should start working the higher-ups at Comedy Central. You may have a future in stand-up, dude. Let’s hope you do, because if Knight gets the job, you ain’t playing much after that quote.
Still, all this Bobby Knight hype may just be obscuring the truth behind why Knight may be “interested” in alleging interest in UGA: Maybe he’s just trying to distract the mainstream media from the histrionics his son pulled over the weekend.
THE BIG LEAD was the first source we saw shopping the theory, so we’re inclined to give them the credit for it. And you know what? It’s a good one. The last thing the Knight family needs is another member going awol on a ref, and Pat Knight came dangerously close to doing just that on Saturday, running right at one twice and having to be restrained by two separate assistant coaches.
In fact, the incident was downright scary in just how much it looked like his old man’s work. Now, instead of a week full of talking points about how the new Knight is just as bad as the old one, we’re talking about the old one being interested in a job, whether he really is or not. It’s a brilliant game of paternal brinksmanship, and Knight is just the kind of Dad who’s smart enough to pull it off … if he cares that much about his son.
(Admit it: You’d want to get as far away from Dickie V as possible, too.)
Now, there’s no proof that he does care that much about his son, but for the sake of the argument we’re going to buy it. This is too good a conspiracy theory not to indulge.
There was college news from the football arena, too. Apparently Ohio State’s linemen are not taking three-straight BCS losses well after the fact, with former Buckeye Alex Boone going positively nuts while drunk out of his mind Sunday night in California, where he’s allegedly preparing for the NFL Draft.
According to police reports out of Alisa Viejo, Calif., Boone was so uncooperative that he had to be stunned with tasers multiple times while he was already in jail. That’s right, he was in such a drunken belligerent that he was picking fights with cops while already booked.
(The Alex Boone entry to the sad mug shot pantheon.)
It’s a sad story, because Boone was allegedly off the drink after a 2006 DUI incident. He’d talked openly about binge drinking and how he needed to stop it to save his future. Evidently he lost sight of that while out in idyllic Orange County.
For her part, Boone’s mom is out seeking sympathy for her son, and she may need to get some if NFL teams are going to take him seriously.
“(I talked to him) and he’s hurting. He feels terrible that he let so many people down,”Amy Boone said. “What do you do? You tell him you love him and support him and that we’ll go after this (problem) like we need to.”
Right now, Boone feels way too much like the next Andy Katzenmoyer. Unless he’s got a heck of an alibi or great conspiracy theory for his personal Super Bowl party, he may not even get Katzenmoyer’s chance.
Roger Clemens, there’s a man who needs a great conspiracy theory. He better get working on a new one soon, because there’s no evidence that the man has done some needle pushing into his backside.
According to a report in THE WASHINGTON POST, DNA from blood contained in syringes that were supplied to a federal grand jury by Clemens’ former trainer, Brian McNamee, matches Clemens’ own DNA. It’s not quite a murder scene conviction, but it’s going to be awful hard for Clemens to claim that all this blood was McNamee’s way of testing him for suitability to B-12 shots.
Naturally, Clemens’s defense team is already claiming that the new evidence proves nothing, and only undermines how circumspect anything provided by the prosecution really is.
Rusty Hardin, Clemens’s Houston-based defense attorney, said the DNA tests “won’t matter at all.”
“It will still be evidence fabricated by McNamee,” Hardin said. “I would be dumbfounded if any responsible person ever found this to be reliable or credible evidence in any way.”
Sure, Rusty. And if you believe that a jury will hear the phrase “DNA evidence” and not be somewhat swayed by it, man, do I have a bridge to sell you in Brooklyn. Clemens’s defense may not be sunk yet, but the ship be sinking, and it’s been sinking for a long time. Sooner or later it has to hit the sea floor, and it sure feels like we’re getting close.
Speaking of baseball, why, exactly, did the Mets spend $36 million on a pitcher who has a combined record of 26-20 in the National League when they could have spent $3 million more per season to land a guy whose a proven playoff horse? We’re just asking.
If you thought porn was the only sex peddled during the Super Bowl, evidently you weren’t watching in Houston. That telecast aired an ad for a service that helps married folks “discreetly” have sex with other married folks. Really. Go check out ASHLEYMADISON.com for yourself, or watch the ad below.
In case you missed it, Bob Hayes’ sister read an emotional letter after the deceased receiver and world’s fastest man was picked for the NFL Hall of Fame. There’s just one problem: She may be a big fraud.
The latest soccer take on our favorite running video segment: “Man that was unnecessarily painful!” Our take? Owwwwwwwww.
If you watch one mid-major face off before the NCAA Tournament, it should probably be this one, announced Monday: Butler at Davidson. Stephen Curry vs. four unathletic looking guys who all average 13 points-per-game. And they’re white. Amazingly, this game still has sex appeal.