Harrison Tells Tom Brady To “Take The Skirt Off”

For those who can’t bear to subject themselves to the NBC studio shows, what with Football Night in America being so overproduced it makes T-Pain seem “gritty” by comparison, you probably missed Rodney Harrison continuing his crusade to turn himself into the court jester of today’s crop of NFL television analysts*.

Tom Brady in a skirt
(”Plus, dude, purple totally clashes with the uniform.”)

In this instance, Tom Brady had just thrown a pass in the pocket when he was hit in the knee by Terrell Suggs (and rather lightly at that), prompting a 15-yard roughing the passer flag at Brady’s demonstrative request. Afterward, Harrison took what should have been an interesting debate about the new NFL rules protecting the quarterback in the pocket and instead turned into an OMG controversy about just Harrison, Brady, and “manhood.” Oh, great. Awesome. Video of the play in question and Harrison’s “controversial” remark after the break.

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T.O. Goes Beserk, Accuses Announcer Of Steroids

While NBC commentator Rodney Harrison has already sufficiently exhausted his hyperbolic capital for 99% of the football-loving population, there’s still some affected by his now-mundane bomb-throwing.

Terrell Owens Tweet Accuses Rodney Harrison of Doing Steroids

(Don’t worry, T.O. still keeping current on his bible passages Tweets too!)

Actually make that one affected. Terrell Owens.

Owens lost it on Twitter after apparently hearing that Harrison called him a “straight-up clown.” He responded by accusing of Harrison of doing steroids. Repeatedly. (At least between his quoting bible passages.)

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Rodney Harrison Wants To ‘Put A Bounty’ On T.O.

Excited about the first regular season Monday Night Football game? Rodney Harrison is … um, does he realize it’s not on NBC? The ex-Patriots safety, now an analyst there, has some interesting things to say leading into New England’s opener with the Bills. Maybe it’s the human growth hormones kicking in?

Basically, says Harrison, Terrell Owens can suck it. Key quote: “I’m pumped about T.O. opening up his big mouth about the Patriots. It’s fair now. I can actually put a bounty on T.O. if I wanted and not get in any trouble.”

But there’s more.

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Cleveland Rocks: Suns Send Shaq To LeBronland

Shaq will be lacing ‘em up with LeBron on a more continual basis, as the Big Cactus becomes the newest member of the Cavaliers.

LeBron Shaq

Rodney Harrison is sick of the whole Brett Favre brouhaha, too.

• Boston sure loves their Rajon Rondo - well, everyone except Celtics GM Danny Ainge.

• An Oklahoma mom is sentenced to 5 years in prison for attacking a high school cheerleading coach with a stun gun.

• Your next tennis hottie to shed some clothing for a magazine shoot: Belarusian babe Victoria Azarenka.

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Rodney Harrison: NFLers Consider Favre “Selfish”

We’ll freely admit to having been skeptical of Rodney Harrison as a genuine media personality when word got out that he was retiring and joining the NFL on NBC staff. A dirty player who immediately gets into overaggressive bombast about the state of the sport that earned him eight figures? How do we say… no.

Rodney Harrison Fisting
(Do you remember back in the day when you would hold your arms out and spin around and yell out “Tornado!” like you were a tornado? I’m not saying that’s what Harrison’s doing here, because he’s not a 5-year-old, but it might be a good tactic in run support. I guess you don’t need to yell out “Tornado” if you’re going to do it in the game, though, because that ruins the surprise and the offense can adjust. Anyway.*)

Oh, but do what ESPN won’t do and launch a fusillade of disgust at The Brett Favre Experience? You, sir, have our attention. What’s that, Mr. Harrison? The players think he’s selfish too? So, in a way, I’m more like Chris Samuels than Chris Berman? I… I don’t know what to say. I think I love you.

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Week In Review: No Steroids in MLB, Why Watch?

• Major League Baseball without steroids is like porn without the silicone.

Monster Implants In Porn Like Steroids In Baseball

Just don’t blog about the subject with Raul Ibanez.

Rodney Harrison doesn’t like how the NFL has become “soft and pansy“.

• A Fox News morning show lambasts MTV for Bruno’s ass-ault on Eminem - then does a segment with a Fox reporter doing basically the same thing to a lingerie football player.

Tim Floyd takes off from the Trojans. What, and leave the Song Girls?

• Soon-to-be newlyweds Kendra Wilkinson & Eagles WR Hank Baskett are expecting a baby. On the other side of the spectrum, Barry Bonds’ wife demands a divorce.

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Lakers Win Due To No Goaltending Call On Gasol?

• The Lakers had a tougher time in Game 2, needing overtime to beat the Magic - and no goaltending calls on Courtney Lee’s final regulation shot.

Paul Gasol, Lakers

• Could Pacman Jones be wocka-wocka-walking back to the Cowboys?

Chad Johnson Ochocinco embraces his newfound “Mexican” heritage by already planning his 1st TD celebration - hanging a pinata on the goalpost & whacking it with an end zone pylon.

• Hope you Memphis Redbirds fans have fun tonight during Stubby Clapp Appreciation Night!

• Recently retired Rodney Harrison rants about how the NFL is turning soft & pansy-esque.

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Rodney Harrison: New NFL Is “Soft, Pansy Sport”

In the immediate wake of his career-ending injury and amid speculation that he’ll join NBC’s NFL broadcast team, it seems like Rodney Harrison would have no need to manufacture a presence in the headlines. You’d think, anyway.

Rodney Harrison wrench
(”What do you mean, I can’t give a receiver an ass full of pipe wrench if he comes over the middle?! You’re all a bunch of nancy boys!”)

For whatever reason, though, he’s out there making a name for himself in the press, this time by coldly slandering the very sport that made him ludicrously wealthy over the last decade or so. You see, according to the USA TODAY, Harrison’s just too much man for the NFL to handle: Read more…

Speed Read: Rodney Harrison’s Career Likely Over

The NFL is on the verge of losing one of its largest revenue streams, based on the news out of New England last night. Safety Rodney Harrison, who has rankled opponents over the years with his aggressive (some say dirty) play, joined Tom Brady on the “guys opposing fans are happy to see in pain” list after it was revealed that he will miss the rest of the season with a torn thigh muscle. In fact, the AP is going as far as calling it a career-ending injury.

Rodney Harrison

The oft-fined safety tore his right thigh muscle and rehab will reportedly take 8-10 months. Harrison is in the last year of his contract and many expected that he was going to retire after the season anyway. He’s donated more than $200,000 to NFL over the years in fines for illegal hits. Roger Goodell will just have to keep making up more reasons to fine Hines Ward to account for the reduced cash flow.

Kellen Winslow and his staph infection were suspended one game by the Browns because Winslow had the gall to call out the team’s brass for asking him to hide the illness and for not taking enough action to prevent further infections. Despite the fact that Winslow made it clear that his beef was not with his teammates or coaches, GM Phil Savage called the comments “unwarranted, inappropriate and unnecessarily disparaging to our organization.”

It looks like Larry Johnson will likely not play this Sunday whether the NFL suspends him or not. Herm Edwards suggested in comments yesterday that LJ’s latest act of female degradation would be enough to earn him another week off.  It has been confirmed that police are investigating the incident.

Pudding pops for everyone! Bill Cosby was on hand last night as Temple beat Ohio 14-10 in a game that nobody wanted to see, but everybody watched for like five minutes because nothing else was on. The PHILLY INQUIRER insists that the Owls are still in the MAC Eastern Division hunt despite a 2-3 league record.

Bill Cosby

The World Series starts tonight, and HOME RUN DERBY has the preview you’ve been waiting for. It’s of the teams’ cheerleaders, of course, which means there hopefully won’t be any photos of a shirtless Matt Stairs. It should be noted that the Phillies’ Ballgirls are actually the ones who sit in foul territory and field balls that go out of play, while the Ray Team is more of a traditional squad — with some dudes, though. The Ballgirls are actual softball players who just happen to be attractive, which makes them the winners in my book. Anyone can operate a t-shirt cannon.

World Series cheerleaders

• Think it’s not physically demanding to be a baseball manager? Just tell Terry Francona that. He’s having surgery this offseason for a back injury that has left him with “diminished feeling” in his arms and unable to stand up straight, according to the ASSOCIATED PRESS’ Jimmy Golen.

Terry Francona is frail

Since Francona has become manager of the Red Sox he’s been struck by the following maladies:

A foot infection, a knee replacement, staph infections in both knees, chest pains, several years on blood-thinners, a life-threatening blood clot in his lungs and now a back problem that will require surgery.

Francona also chews massive quantities of tobacco during the season, which I’m sure helps a lot with all of this. And he won’t even turn 50 until early next season.

• It’s not the World Series without the participating cities’ newspaper columnists taking really easy cheap shots at each other. Today, the PHILLY DAILY NEWS’ Stu Bykofsky has the floor, and it might just be the worst trash talk I’ve ever read. There’s references to tuberculosis and Salvador Dali(?), and he calls Rays fans “tampons.” It’s all very sophisticated.

• Those catwalks at the Trop? Yeah, the geniuses who built the place thought that nobody would ever hit a baseball up that far, so says USA TODAY.

• Monday was a rough night for the Bailey brothers. CBS4 in Denver is reporting that Champ Bailey tore his groin (yeesh) in the loss to New England and is going to miss 4-6 weeks, while his brother Boss injured his knee and is out for the season.

• NEW YORK MAGAZINE’s Lucas Mann was with Stephon Marbury when he watched the final presidential debate…at a homeless shelter on the Bowery in New York.

• The LOS ANGELES TIMES’ Bill Shaikin celebrates the fact that there are a number of African-American stars in this year’s World Series.

• The first NHL team in Toronto is doing so well, that the league is talking about putting another one there, according to a CBC report.

• Texas Tech coach Mike Leach told the FORT WORTH STAR-TELEGRAM that he tries as hard as possible to stay away from computers.

• Your police-assaulting and racial-slurring act may fly in Dallas there, Mr. and Mrs. Collegiate Sports Marketer, but the BOSTON HERALD says you’re in some trouble for doing it in their backyard.

Marion Jones‘ former track coach, who was a whistleblower in the BALCO case, has avoided prison time and instead was sentenced to 12 months of house arrest, write Lance Williams of the SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE.

Who’s going to be the Phillies’ DH in Game 1?

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NASCAR: Where Roid Rage Becomes Road Rage

Football players, baseball stars, track sprinters - these are the type of people you would expect to get caught up in a steroid scandal. But NASCAR drivers? Not so much. But that’s exactly what’s happened to defending Craftsman Truck Series champion Ron Hornaday.

Ron Hornaday

ESPN THE MAGAZINE reports that he received shipments of a testosterone cream and HGH at his house from 2004 to 2006 from the same “anti-aging center” that has been linked to Rodney Harrison, Wade Wilson and Paul Byrd. But it’s OK: it was strictly for medicinal purposes. In fact, the HGH wasn’t even for him, it was for his wife. Stop me if you’ve heard this one before.

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