Speed Read: Woods’ Son Ready For PGA In 2027

Some people thought that Tiger Woods would find a way to make it back from his rehab in time to play at the Buick Championships this week at Torrey Pines in San Diego. After all, he’s won the tournament six times, and it was the site of his epic victory over Rocco Mediate in the U.S. Open last June - his last tournament before having season-ending surgery.

Tiger Woods and Family

But he didn’t, and that’s probably a good thing: the SAN DIEGO UNION-TRIBUNE reports that his wife Elin Nordegren gave birth to their second child on Sunday, a brother to go with their daughter Sam. Put the new Woods scion along with his champion golfer niece, now the Woods gene pool can pretty much dominate both tours for at least the next 40 years.

(*UPDATE*: Tiger announces new kid’s name is Charlie Axel Woods.)

Elin Nordgren

As we mentioned when news of his wife’s pregnancy first broke, it took real courage to have sex with his Swedish model wife while dealing with an ailing knee. But to deal with a pregnant wife while rehabbing, with only the help of a team of nannies, servants and personal assistants? He should be canonized right now. Of course, it would help his case if he bothered to show up for this child’s baptism.

One place Tiger Woods probably won’t be showing up is anywhere with Snoop Dogg there, lest his reputation be sullied by some scallywags discussing nefarious topics such as pimps and hoes. But LenDale White has no such problems, inviting the rapper/actor/youth football coach to his 24th birthday party back in December, just after they beat the Pittsburgh Steelers to clinch the best record in the AFC.

LenDale White and Snoop Dogg

It might seem odd that Snoop Dogg would be at the party, since he is a professed Steelers fan. But he and White go back to White’s time at USC (White even threw Snoop Dogg a ball after a TD while the rapper was standing in the end zone), and White has cameoed in Snoop Dogg videos.

YOU BEEN BLINDED has the video of the night, and you can expect, the language makes it pretty NSFW - there are more N-bombs being dropped in the course of five minutes than at the University of Mississippi in 1962. And make sure you watch until the end for LenDale’s own bit of “freestyling”:

Point of fact here: I’m white, which means I have no idea what “I don’t flow, I just pull hoes” means, but I’m pretty sure it has nothing to do with yardwork. I’m also pretty sure that Snoop Dogg was a Raiders fan when my roommate had a copy of “The Chronic” in college, and now he’s a Steelers fan but he’s hanging out with the Titans? This guy is the most fickle sports fan since LeBron James.

  • FOOD COURT LUNCH wants to give you a heads up about the latest movie: “Black Mamba, The Helpful Assassin.” Sounds like something Quentin Tarantino would be involved with, co-starring Jim Brown and Pam Grier.
  • Kobe Bryant, aka Black Mamba

  • Who would want a fat outfielder who was one of the biggest (literally) free agent busts in recent memory? Andruw Jones, welcome to the Texas Rangers! RUMORS & RANTS breaks down the freefall that is his career - at the very least, it will be fun to see if he can still be a tub of goo while dealing with Texas summers.
  • ARCA racing: it’s where they put inexperienced drivers on super speedways and wish them Godspeed. Needless to say, a lot of this sort of stuff happens:

    MOTORSPORT.COM says that Patrick Sheltra, the driver who was T-boned in the crash, remains hospitalized with a compression fracture in his back, but the majority of medical tests so far have been negative.
  • SLATE gets down to the truth of the matter: the SI report that Alex Rodriguez tested positive for steroids changes absolutely nothing.
  • The ASSOCIATED PRESS reports that Colts DE Darrell Reid was arrested after refusing to leave a nightclub parking lot in Indianapolis early Sunday. The best part is his reason: “I don’t have to because I am a football player with the Indianapolis Colts.” I understand that Jim Sorgi uses that line all the time as well, but usually it’s when security tries to kick off him the sidelines of Colts games.
  • NESW VIDEO found this gem on YouTube: A scintillating video Kevin Garnett put together for a Web site called AthetesDirect.com back in 2001 when he was playing for the Timberwolves. The topic? How he gets dressed. And yet somehow AthetesDirect.com is now defunct.

  • What do you get when you combine billiards, poker and mixed martial arts? Either a typical Saturday night at my house, or one of the goofiest ideas for a reality TV show ever, as tracked down by DEUCE OF DAVENPORT.
  • If can’t stalk the one you love, stalk the one you’re with (or at least near): the INDIANA STATESMAN says that a creep who served five years in prison for stalking Olympian Sheila Taormina has been arrested after apparently harassing an Indiana State female athlete and violating a restraining order to not step foot on campus. Because they really thought that was going to work?
  • KVIA-TV has video of a brawl after a soccer game in Juarez, Mexico that left 19 people arrested and several people injured. If you know anything about Juarez lately, you won’t be shocked to know that this was the least violent thing that happened in Juarez yesterday.
  • ESPN.COM reports that Oklahoma basketball player Ray Willis has been suspended indefinitely after being arrested on a DUI charge over the weekend.

Which game are you most interested in watching this week?

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PhilMick Balloons At Brit, Also Shoots Opening 79

The British Open is underway without Tiger Woods, which for some reason has meant many more bettors on the event.

Rocco Mediate British Open

(No, Rocco didn’t just get word of Phil Mick’s scorecard)

At this writing, Rocco Mediate is your first round clubhouse leader at one-under-par. I suppose Mediate’s early showing shouldn’t be a surprise, considering his performance at the U.S. Open.

Speaking of (Claret) jugs, the man most Americans thought would be our top hope to claim The Open Championship has fallen out of contention after a mere 18 holes. Read more…

NBC Analyst Apologizes For Pool Cleaner Remark

Most of us watching the U.S. Open endurance test between Tiger Woods and Rocco Mediate last weekend caught some off-hand comments from NBC golf analyst Johnny Miller regarding Mediate’s chances of the David vs. Goliath-style upset, particularly with regard to something about Rocco looking “like the guy who cleans Tiger’s swimming pool.”

Johnny Miller

That gaffe just happened to rile a few people, as most of us predicted when we heard it, and the NEW YORK TIMES’ sports media reporter Richard Sandomir writes that Miller has officially issued an apology for the wisecrack.

I’m still waiting for both him and his partner Dan Hicks to apologize for the sloppy mess they made slobbering over Woods from late last Saturday on, but at least it’s a start, y’know?

Read more…

SI’s Next Magazine Headline Cover Writer - You!

After Sunday’s amazing comeback & Monday’s sudden death thriller all on a bad knee, what more can be said about Tiger Woods’ U.S. Open victory?

It appears that SPORTS ILLUSTRATED is having that same problem. And they need your help!

Tiger Woods Sports Illustrated Cover

Undoubtedly, the magazine’s next cover story will be Tiger’s wild win over Rocco Mediate at Torrey Pines. But the world’s #1 golfer has graced their covers so many times, it’s not easy for the overworked, underloved editors to keep coming up with such amazing mastheads.

So, Dan Patrick is enlisting all his loyal listeners and rambunctious readers to give SI some headline cover ideas for next week’s issue.

Some suggestions submitted so far: Read more…

Dr. J is no Bill Russell; One Blogger Cuban Likes

Julius Erving doesn’t like it when you call him Bill Russell.

Julius Erving Bill Russell Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

(Dr. J & Bill want to know where’s Kareem’s white hair & beard)

• Here’s probably the only blogger Mark Cuban doesn’t hate.

Ray Allen’s daughter has been diagnosed with diabetes.

Rashard Mendenhall is on the warpath with his former Illinois team.

Rocco Mediate knows to keep quiet around Tiger Woods. But will that silence the scorn of NBC soap viewers?

Read more…

Brog: ABC Might Want To Freshen Up NBA Display

I’m happy to report that I’m back in Los Angeles for the summer, after five delightful days driving from Miami. First day back, I was at Game 5 of the NBA Finals, which extended the inevitable Boston series triumph by at least one more 48-minute epoch (has a team ever looked worse in a win than Sunday @ Staples?)

Brooks Bill Walton Stephen A Smith

Before the game, I waited for Jerry Buss to pull up with a limo-full of teenie strippers drank in the *electric* atmosphere outside the arena, which featured a chance to admire an embarrassingly outdated display of ABC NBA broadcasters. Best part: Getting to let Stephen A. know how the vast majority of respirating, bipedal NBA fans felt about his past on-air contribution.

Mike Tirico Jeff Van Gundy

The fan photo-op broadcast desk was part of an RV-display that featured cutouts of ABC’s NBA broadcast team, which as you can imagine had passing fans bursting with excitement. One small detail: Smith and Bill Walton aren’t on ABC’s coverage of the NBA Finals.

Staples Center Parking

It’s also nice to see the (Celtics-operated?) Staples-area parking guys weren’t in a mood to gouge Game 5 attendees. Let’s see, buy a quarter-tank of gas, or park for the game?

I traveled around Los Angeles (Pasadena down to Venice) quite a bit yesterday to acquaint myself with how my town was feeling before the game. I was surprised. No car flags, no lines outside of sports bars, no buzz. I know it was Father’s Day, and the Lakers were down 3-1, but I expected at least some excitement around town. But it’s been exceedingly flaccid, especially compared to the early ’90s championship Shaq-n-Kobe era.

Apparently, the country is similarly laissez-faire. The ratings have been better than last year’s putrid numbers, but as Barry Horn of the DALLAS MORNING NEWS wrote, “(ESPN/ABC and the NBA) dreamed of a return to double-digit ratings with Lakers-Celtics, but the numbers have been a disappointment. America knew Michael Jordan. Apparently, Kobe Bryant is no Michael Jordan.

Rocco Mediate as a poker player, from WICKED CHOPS POKER:

Rocco Mediate Poker

More golf coverage after the jump … Read more…

Phew! Rocco Won’t “Bother” Tiger During Playoff

I’m watching the Rocco-Tiger match on ESPN, and thoroughly enjoyed the interview (take two!) with a Starbucks-sucking Mediate before the two teed off: “I’m not going to bother anybody, if he (Tiger) doesn’t want to talk, we won’t.

Rocco Tiger US Open Playoff

I won’t bother anybody“? Like Rocco is intruding Tiger’s precious processional?

My money is on Mediate today. I firmly believe that his jocular, fun-loving attitude will be the number-one reason he wins today. As it will defuse Woods’ burning intensity. Genius.

Tiger’s Putt Puts NBC’s PM Soaps On Back Burner

On the 18th hole at Torrey Pines on Sunday, Tiger Woods did what Tiger Woods always does - plunk down a perfect putt to put himself in position to pull off another major victory.

Rocco Mediate Tiger Woods

(”How do you keep DOING that?“)

The Golfer Formerly Known As Eldrick sank a 12-foot putt on the final hole of the U.S. Open, placing himself in a tie with Rocco Mediate at the top of the leaderboard - and forcing an 18-hole playoff to be broadcast by ESPN (Noon-2 p.m. ET) & NBC (2 p.m.-conclusion) today.

These are the kind of performances that get you on Gatorade bottles. And hook you up with hot Swedish honeys. And cast you in commercials carrying on as Caddyshack’s Carl Spackler.

With yet another stupendous swing to add tho his highlight reel, is it a foregone conclusion that Tiger will claw up yet another fantastic fairway finish? Read more…