Bills’ Fired OC Refuses To Fall On Sword For Team

One of the hip new fads of this NFL preseason has been choking out Tila Tequila firing your offensive coordinator. It happened three times this preseason already, and Andy Reid has already told OC Marty Mornhinweg that he’d look good in a human-sized slow-roaster. We don’t know if that has anything to do with Mornhinweg’s job performance or just that he’s probably well-marbled.

Turk Schonert
(Fired? But the team site just spent all this time on this composite!)

Of the three fired offensive coordinators, one’s not going down without a fight. Not like a fistfight, those aren’t for respectable grown men. No, we’re talking about good, old-fashioned fights of words. Right through the media. That man would be the Buffalo Bills’ former OC, Turk Schonert, axed just a week before the season opener. Shockingly, he doesn’t hold head coach Dick Jauron in the highest esteem.

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Speed Read: Lakers Crush Magic, TV Execs Hearts

That sound you heard in New York last night were league officials and ABC executives quietly weeping into their gin and tonics while watching Game 1 of the NBA Finals. Because what they were watching was the one thing they didn’t need: a Los Angeles Lakers blowout. For the casual fan, the 100-75 drubbing of the Orlando Magic just confirmed what they already knew, that this series is a letdown after the hype of Kobe Bryant vs. LeBron James, and the Lakers are going to crush the upstart Magic.

Kobe Bryant

Sure, it was close…for a little over a quarter. The Magic did have a five-point lead early in the second quarter, and then the roof collapsed. This is what happens when a team that relies on three-point shooting has a sub-par shooting game (going 8-for-23 from beyond the arc). Without having to fear the Magic from the outside, the Lakers could double and triple-team Dwight Howard, a form of kryptonite that even Superman couldn’t overcome, going 1-for-6 and scoring just 12 points.

Dwight Howard

So while Howard struggled, Kobe was superb, scoring 40 points while coming close to a triple-double. He had 12 points in the second quarter as the Lakers established their dominance, and was able to create opportunities for Pau Gasol and the rest of his supporting cast. And with Phil Jackson being 43-0 in series where his team wins the opening game, Magic coach Stan Van Gundy has to be sweating through his Men’s Wearhouse coat.

But if the Magic need any inspiration, they only need to look to the Stanley Cup (assuming they get Versus in central Florida). Facing a 2-0 deficit against the defending champion Detroit Red Wings, the Pittsburgh Penguins have rallied to tie the series after a 4-2 win in Game 4. Which is especially impressive since they managed to turn an early lead into a 2-1 hole in the second period, which could have easily crippled a lesser team.

Pittsburgh Penguins

And in what can only be seen as a good sign for the Penguins, Sidney Crosby had his first goal of the series, while Evgeni Malkin added a goal and an assist. So now we basically have a best-of-three series starting tomorrow night in Detroit. While the Red Wings are still probably going to win the series, at least the Penguins have made it interesting.

Randy Johnson

Finally, let’s tip our hat to Randy Johnson, who became the first pitcher since Tom Seaver in 1985 to get his 300th victory in his first attempt thanks to the Giants’ 5-1 victory over the Nationals. Thank you for sparing us of the daily update on the ESPN crawl and live game updates ruining our PBA Tour broadcasts on Wednesday nights on ESPN2. The Giants are planning a pregame celebration before their next home game to congratulate Johnson on his 300 career wins - all four of them with San Francisco.

  • The French Open women’s singles final is set, with Dinara Safina and Svetlana Kuznetsova taking each other on in an all-Russian final. In terms of eye candy, this isn’t exactly the Maria Sharapova vs. Ana Ivanovic Australian Open final from last year.
  • Dinara Safina and Svetlana Kuznetsova

  • Calvin Borel isn’t just confident that he’s going to win the Belmont Stakes on Mine That Bird to win the jockey Triple Crown, he’s guaranteeing it. (At least that’s what we think he said with molasses-thick drawl.) If he does pull this off, does this mean he gets put out to stud?
  • LeBron, here’s your slap on the wrist: the NBA fines King James $25,000 for bailing on the post-game press conference after the Cavs’ Game 6 loss to the Magic in the Eastern Conference finals. Plus, you made David Stern cry. How does that feel, LeBron.
  • You want Dontrelle Willis to succeed in his comeback with the Tigers, but then something like this happens: in 2-1/3 innings against the Red Sox yesterday, Willis gave up five runs without allowing a hit, walking five and hitting a batter.
  • Just when you thought that it couldn’t get worse for the New York Mets than getting swept by the Pirates, it also turns out that Jose Reyes has a torn hamstring.
  • John Raines, a substitute teacher and athletic trainer at Sussex Central High in Delaware, has been arrested and charged with “inappropriately touching a student-athlete while treating her injury and threatening to prevent her from playing her sport when she tried to stop his advances.” Which is bad enough, but even worse when considering he’s the second faculty member arrested on sex crimes in the past two days and the third within a year.
  • Spencer Cruise, an all-state high school football player in Iowa, allegedly bodyslammed a cop who was busting up a party and then Tasered him with his own weapon.
  • Buffalo Bills owner Ralph Wilson has selected ESPN’s Chris Berman to introduce him before his induction into the Pro Football Hall of Fame, and PRO FOOTBALL TALK wonders if that’s such a great idea. (Seriously, was Jim Kelly busy?)
  • Former Tulsa football player Neal Sweeney apparently got into a business dispute with the wrong person, as it ended up with him being shot dead at his fuel sales company. Police have arrested the person they believe is the triggerman, and hope this leads to further breaks in the case.
  • Maurice Neal, a linebacker for the Utah Utes, has been arrested in connection with a bar fight where he took out two men. Shouldn’t Utah be the last place that a bar fight should be happening?

Who is going to be the next 300 game winner in baseball?

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Tiger Woods Wins Again; Blake Griffin Is Number 1

• As Dan Patrick would say, you cannot stop Tiger Woods, you can only hope to contain him (or hope he hurts his knee again).

Tiger Woods Maria Sharapova Gatorade

Thanks, Gatorade Lady! (Unfortunately, it’s not Maria Sharapova.)

• Oklahoma b-ball star Blake Griffin shows the world that he’s number 1.

• The Buffalo Bills use Twitter to tell everyone that Ralph Wilson isn’t dead. And it better really be the Bills on Twitter - otherwise someone’s gonna have a lawsuit on their hands.

• Former Hornets GM tries to explain why he traded away Kobe Bryant.

• St. Louis Cardinal Rick Ankiel finds it stimulating to Google himself.

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Twitter Now Being Used To Refute Death Rumors

There really are no limits to what Twitter can be used to accomplish. Whether you want to use the micro-blogging site to let all your fans know where you are and have them come hang out with you, or maybe a place to complain about referees, or use it to let the world know that Jim Calhoun will coach the next UConn game, it’s an incredibly useful tool. It also comes in handy when you want to deny rumors of your owner’s death.

That’s what happened in Buffalo this weekend when there was apparently an Internet rumor going around that Buffalo Bills owner Ralph Wilson was dead. Since the rumor was started on the Internet, I guess the Bills figured the only way to put it to rest was by using the internet themselves, and decided to use their Twitter page to let the world know Wilson was still alive.

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Buffalo Bill Bailout: Wilson Rescued Pats, Raiders

Ask anyone about the fathers of the modern NFL, and you’ll probably hear some familiar name: Halas, Lambeau, Lombardi, Leaf. One name any football enthusiast ought to get familiar with, though, is the founder, owner, and president of the Buffalo Bills, Ralph Wilson. Wilson, like semi-human horror show Al Davis, was one of the originators of the AFL, which eventually merged with the NFL in the mid-’60s. But as the new book, The Birth of the New NFL points out, that merger (and Super Bowl and half the NFL) almost didn’t happen without some financial heroics on Wilson’s part.

Ralph Wilson couple
(Is Ralph Wilson frightening compared to his wife? Sure. But next to Al Davis, he looks… more like his wife.)

Take, for example, the beloved New England Patriots. Back in the AFL Era, they were still the Boston Patriots, and unlike today, they were not doing so hot. Their records were middling-at-best, not terrible, but they were not the class of the league. Worse, they were in dire financial straits. As the author, Larry Felser explains: “they were very rocky and probably about to close business and Ralph lent the owner Billy Sullivan a great deal of money to keep the team afloat.”

Another time, Wilson had to save a fellow team–and to bend the rules doing so. Read more…

The NY Post Apparently Enjoys SbB’s Gift For Gifs

Where the MSM’s disdain doesn’t bother us as much as it bothers Shaq:

• Imitation must be the sincerest form of flattery, as The NEW YORK POST appreciates a good animated gif when they see one:

Old New York Post paper machine

• One of Dan Patrick’s favorite daily web stops has been offline for over a year.

• Some Pro Bowlers are con about taking the trip to Hawaii.

• Bills owner Ralph Wilson says his team’s not shuffling off from Buffalo - yet.

• Now ladies can replace their mother’s milk with a nice merlot, with the booze bra know as the Wine Rack:

Wine Rack before & after

Curt Schilling might not be able to shoulder a whole ‘nother season with the Red Sox.

• New York DC Steve Spagnuolo uses the other D.C. to get a Giant raise.

• Wednesday’s US-Mexico soccer match was such a “friendly” game that two people were shot afterwards.

Bills Owner To Fans: We’re Not Moving … Yet

The BUFFALO NEWS has a piece today that is, for everyone outside of Western New York, a little amusing and perplexing.

Buffalo Bills Tailgate Party

The Bills’ octogenerian owner Ralph Wilson held a press conference yesterday to announce the club playing a series of games in Toronto beginning next season.

Of course, the News reports that all the Toronto media cared about at the presser was if the Bills would move there permanently. And Wilson didn’t exactly dismiss the prospect in his answers to the Canadian questioners. Read more…