Some fans might remember the mini-kerfuffle that erupted between St. Louis Cardinals and Chicago Cubs fans earlier this season when someone began selling “Carlos Zambrano mows my lawn” t-shirts (seriously? that’s your joke? sigh). Luckily, Cubs fans have taken the high road, if by that I mean the exact opposite, turning the exact same joke against Ozzie Guillen.

(Ozzie has a message for you clever little prankstaz.)

Guillen knows a thing or two about obnoxious behavior, though, and he knows that what the sellers are after isn’t money, but an angry response. Via the CHICAGO TRIBUNE’s HARD BALL blog, commence epic pwnership:

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Here in 21st century America, racism is derided, and deservedly so. There are so many reasons to hate any given person that choosing the color of their skin reveals you to be of weak mind and character. But in Europe, things are different, just because there’s so much to it than “white.” There, everybody hates every other country’s people, and should said country border yours, it counts triple. Go on, ask the French about the Spanish sometime. Or Germans about the Polish. You’ll see.

(Wait, the guy on the right is the one who’s getting taunted for his appearance? Have we gone mad, gentlemen?)

Unfortunately, though “white” isn’t just “white” in Europe, “black” is still “black,” and God help a man if he’s of primarily African descent (rather than, say, a third- or fourth-generation countryman who’s black). American Oguchi Onyewu, playing the Belgian club Standard Liege, found that out the hard way this season, enduring taunts of “dirty monkey” during a recent title match. Rather than let the slurs go, however, he’s taking the fight back to his alleged slurcaster, filing a lawsuit in Brussels.

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Long before Venus and Serena Williams began dominating the world of women’s tennis, the road for African-American female tennis players was being paved by Zina Garrison. Garrison was ranked as high as #4 in the world among women back in 1989, and in 1990 she became the first African-American woman to reach the Wimbledon finals in 1990 where she was defeated by the 1,342nd lesbian to reach the Wimbledon final, Martina Navratilova.

Since she retired in 1996 Zina has spent her time working with the United States Tennis Association (USTA) as a coach in the Fed Cup, and then as captain of the Fed Cup team since 2004. She also coached the U.S. Women’s tennis team in the 2004 and 2008 Olympics. Well, she was recently let go by the USTA as Fed Cup captain and Zina isn’t quite sure what she’d done to be let go from the job aside from being black, so now she’s suing the USTA.

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Just when you thought society in general was turning the page on institutionalized racism, a prominent member of the Canadian media goes and delivers a cliched racist rant against the NBA.

(Maybe it’s good Sharif Abdur-Rahim got out when he did.)

The aforementioned “media member” is VANCOUVER COURIER columnist Mark Hasiuk, who may or may not still be hung up on the departure of the Grizzlies and the utter debacle that was “Big Country” Reeves. Regardless of his motivation, Hasiuk’s comments about the world’s top professional basketball league are nothing short of inflammatory racist rhetoric, despite Hasiuk taking the slightly unique tact of not blaming hip-hop. The best line? Brace yourself:

” … considering basketball’s influence on black popular culture, the NBA has a responsibility to produce a “positive” product, not the ghetto garbage we see today.”

Well, there’s even more proof of Hasiuk’s limited editorial and argumentative skills after the jump.

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Much was made about Mississippi finally giving in to inevitable pressure and accepting the Emancipation Proclamation a few years ago. Good timing on that, now that the U.S. is about to inaugurate an African-American President (some Barack Obama guy?). Unfortunately, South Africa hasn’t really caught up yet, as it turns out they’re still using the athletic equivalent of Jim Crow laws to pick their cricket teams.

(Herschelle Gibbs: South African cricket’s Rosa Parks.)

It’s true, and we had no idea, either, until we found this story about the country finally abandoning its race-based selection on STUFF.CO.NZ, which cites the South African teams improved performance when it — brace yourself for this one — picked athletes based on talent and ability rather than the color of their skin.

Of course, the fact that the surging South African cricket team currently has seven non-white players among its 15-man squad isn’t enough to make Cricket South Africa, the sport’s governing body in the country, pull the trigger on overall “merit-based selection” overnight. No, CSA is insisting on phasing the policy in over three years, sticking to the slightly less-shocking “target-transformation policy,” a quota system that places four non-white players on every cricket team.

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The German people have, let’s say, an “interesting” past in regards to race relations, especially when it comes to supporting groups whose main political platform is exterminating an entire race of people. So it’s no surprise that the German government has taken a hard-line stance against the neo-Nazi movement since WWII. The latest in their war on those who hate: Werder Bremen, a German soccer team, has officially put eight neo-Nazis on the “banned from the stadium” list.

(Also not great: Illinois Nazis)

The neo-Nazis in question made the mistake of attempting to push their own personal beliefs (many of them shockingly racist!) on the rest of the stadium crowd by trying to unfurl a “German imperial war flag often displayed by rightist groups and a neo-Nazi sign”.

Awesomely, other fans saw what was going on, stepped in the way and prevented the sign from going up.

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You might have noticed this charming little fellow popping up in the corner of your screen during the 2nd quarter of New England’s blowout win over Denver. No, that’s not a decorative lawn jockey, placed there by ESPN to bring a smile to your face. That is what appears to be a Patriot fan wearing blackface and an afro wig. Good God, New England fans. You make this job too easy sometimes.

(Aw, man…no…just…aw, man…)

At first I thought it might just be an actual black guy. But then I remembered, no, this is Foxborough.

Somewhere in Los Angeles, Ken Rosenthal is feeling like Woodward and Bernstein when Nixon resigned. Somewhere in Medford, someone named Sully is posting on a message board blaming this on ESPN’s tint levels on last night’s broadcast. Somewhere in Milwaukee, C.C. Sabathia just said to himself, “Oh, hell no.” And somewhere in heaven, Baby Jesus sheds a single tear.

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FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

Memo to all people everywhere: STOP USING RACIALLY INDICATIVE TERMS TO TALK ABOUT SPORTS.

Golfer Hunter Mahan is latest moron to incite a term that relates to racism for the purpose of describing something in the sports world. THE SPORTING LIFE reads up on Mahan’s recent interview with GOLF MAGAZINE, where among other stupid things, the swinger says that playing for the Ryder Cup is like being “a slave that week.”

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Don Imus’ foot-in-mouth disease continues to reverberate, as the target of his latest set of ill-advised and racially charged comments, Dallas Cowboys CB Adam “No Longer Pacman” Jones, has responded to the old coot’s off-hand remark about his yellow sheet yesterday.

Per the DALLAS MORNING NEWS:

“I’m truly upset about the comments,” Jones said. “Obviously Mr. Imus has problems with African-Americans. I’m upset, and I hope the station he works for handles it accordingly. I will pray for him.”

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Based on some scathing emails sent to Ozzie Guillen, it appears it’s not just the North Siders who can bring a little bigotry to Chicago baseball.

Joe Cowley of the SUN-TIMES reports on the racist rants recently received in the White Sox manager’s inbox. But when it comes to dealing with such cheap shots, Guillen refuses to play the race card, saying it’s his age and not his heritage that’s the reason for his “Crazy Ozzie” label. Read more…