Fergie Jenkins Put The “Fun” In “Funeral Homes”

It doesn’t get talked about much - perhaps just because it’s well known - but there is a simply chasmic difference between the fortunes of a major and minor leaguer in baseball. It’s a difference that, as you might imagine, was only compounded before the Jim Crow laws were repealed in the 1960s.

Ferguson Jenkins Sixth Sense
(”I see baseball players. They’re everywhere. Some of them don’t even know they play baseball.”)

But the common perception is that while black people weren’t allowed into nice hotels, they were still, y’know, staying in hotels. Not so, says Hall of Famer Ferguson Jenkins. The longtime Cub has a new book out, and at times, he and his black teammates had unusual housemates: dead people!

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Sportswriter Gets His Pimpin’ On, Fails Miserably

Kevin Provencher is a sportswriter for the NEW HAMPSHIRE UNION LEADER. More importantly, he’s 50 years old. Perhaps we can’t fault him for having a mid-life crisis, one in which he needs to feel a thrill, just so he knows he can still feel.

Kevin Provencher pimpin aint easy

(Provencher, who we are obligated to mention is innocent until proven guilty.)

Either that or he’s just so committed to the tenets of capitalism that hes willing to sell anything, the law be damned. Either way, if recent allegations are true, Provencher’s in trouble for the most unusual crime of pimping. Hey, nobody said it’d be easy.

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Vancouver Prostitutes Ready For Their Closeup

If you’re like me, the big question on your mind about the 2010 Vancouver Olympics is this: Will the prostitutes be safe from the media? Fortunately, The Prostitution Alternatives Counselling and Education Society (PACE) is already on the case.

Sex trade workers in Vancouver are receiving sessions in media training at PACE headquarters, located in the city’s notorious Downtown Eastside (admittance not granted without the secret knock). Read more…

Novak Can’t Take No More Of Aussie Open’s Heat

Andy Roddick roasts Novak Djokovic in the Aussie Oven Open quarters.

Novak Djokovic Australian Open

(Novak can’t wait to get back to those shivering Serbian winters)

Oscar De La Hoya paid $5 million for MMA event - and he didn’t even have to fight!

• A friendly reminder to Super Bowl attendees looking for adventure - the Tampa area does have a thriving gentlemen’s club industry.

• And if that’s too tame, there’s always prostitution - until you see the kind of Tampa trick-spinners the cops are dragging in.

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In Recession, Brothels Are Becoming Golf Shops

As economies around the world sink slowly into the toilet, there’s a number of strange but true stories that emerge as people try to find new ways to make a decent living. Well, believe it or not, prostitution isn’t immune to the downturn, either, and longtime “working girls” are having to convert brothels to more utilitarian stores. Like golf shops.

Sexy golf edited

(No, no sex please. Just a driver and four iron. Thanks.)

Yes, you did read that last sentence correctly. According to this article in the Australian newspaper THE AGE, a number of new stores are popping up in areas that have always been red light districts across Europe. With income for the prostitution centers down a full one-fifth from previous years in the traditionally prostitution-heavy Czech city of Dubi — hey, they had to open an orphanage for all the unwanted accidental children of prostitutes — brothel owners are converting their stores to restaurants and golf shops.

Why golf shops? Well, when you think of it, golf clubs and stripper poles are both long and made of metal. And maybe the mattresses could be stood up and used as cushioning for a testing range for drivers, right?

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Unser Pays Pimp to Hide “Compromising” Video

Famed open-wheel racer Al Unser, Jr.’s name popped up in an indictment against an Albuquerque, NM, pimp when the local district attorney alleged the businessman of ill repute told Unser that video of the Indy 500 champ in a “compromising position” could accidentally surface in the public space unless large stacks of cash pressed the tape back down. And Unser paid.

Al Unser Jr.

(Al in 2007 just doing it wrong)

The strip club maven (and, again, sex middleman) demanded $750,000, but it’s not clear how much Unser put down on his lavish getaway from scandal.  The district attorney insists Unser didn’t pay for sex, but we suspect the string of decisions that lead the aged scion of the Unser clan to even know this charming fellow could leave numerous embarrassing options open.
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From The Spitzer Files: Jordan Wasn’t ‘Client 23′

In case you were wondering, Michael Jordan didn’t solicit a prostitute like former New York governor Eliot Spitzer did, says the CHICAGO SUN-TIMES.

Michael Jordan parties hearty

But if you weren’t wondering that, and now you’ve heard he was rumored to be “Client 10″ to Spitzer’s “Client 9,” suddenly you have more questions than answers. Read more…

Hooker Makes It With $250K Per Week Footballer

The LONDON SUN has this strange selection of sex partners by Manchester United star Cristiano Ronaldo:

Gabriela De Freitas Photo Cristiana Ronaldo

The woman’s name is Gabriela de Freitas and Ronaldo recently paid £400 for sex with her and another hooker in a Rome hotel: “Ronaldo, 22, and his friend TOOK TURNS to bed the girls at the five-star Hilton Hotel in Rome. Gabriela, 25, is no match for his stunning girlfriend Carolina Patrocinio, 20.

Yes, as you can imagine, Ronaldo’s girlfriend is slightly more photogenic (particularly in a Brazilian thong) than De Freitas.

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